Jack Kornfield - The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness, and Peace

Other Books by Jack Kornfield

Living Buddhist Masters (Living Dharma)
A Still Forest Pool (with Paul Breiter)
Seeking the Heart of Wisdom (with Joseph Goldstein)
Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart/Soul Food
(with Christina Feldman)
Buddhas Little Instruction Book
Teachings of the Buddha
A Path with Heart
After the Ecstasy, the Laundry
The Wise Heart

This simple book was written in the summer of 2001, shortly before the tragic events of terrorism and war swept another wave of violence over the world.

May the eternal truths and practices offered here be dedicated to the benefit of all who have suffered. May all beings find a path to peace.

You hold in your
hand an invitation:

To remember the transforming power
of forgiveness and lovingkindness.
To remember that no matter
where you are and what you face,
within your heart peace is possible.

The teachings in this book contain age-old understandings about love. They give simple and direct practices to help cultivate its qualities in your own heart.

This wisdom is essential for all who live in modern times.

The words of the Buddha offer this truth:

~ Hatred never ceases by hatred
but by love alone is healed.
This is the ancient and eternal law.

Often we find ourselves in conflicts that unsettle our peace of mind. We face difficult situations, and our problems can feel insurmountable.

Pain, anger, and fear can arise in ourselves, in families, in business, in communities, and between nations.

We would like to find a way out of the suffering.

Even in the worst situations, the heart can be free.

~ We who lived in the concentration camps can remember those who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from us but the last of human freedoms the freedom to choose our spirit in any circumstance.

Viktor E. Frankl

Forgiveness and compassion are not sentimental or weak. They demand courage and integrity.

Yet they alone can bring about the peace we long for.

~ True love is not for the faint-hearted.

Meher Baba

Our innate wisdom knows this is true. When Buddhist texts address us as O Nobly Born, they tell us we are all sons and daughters of the Buddha. Do not doubt your own basic goodness. In spite of all confusion and fear, you are born with a heart that knows what is just, loving, and beautiful.

In the words of Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson:

~ Curiously, people resist the noble aspects of their shadow more strenuously than they hide their dark sides. It is more disrupting to find that you have a profound nobility of character than to find out that you are a bum.

If we look at ourselves truthfully, we can feel the possibility of being more compassionate, more awake, more free.

~ If it were not possible to free the heart from entanglement in greed, hate, and fear, I would not teach you to do so.

Buddha

Anger, blame, conflict, and resentment arise from our fear. When we are afraid, our body tightens, our heart is constricted, our mind is possessed. We cannot live wisely.

Forgiveness releases us from the power of fear. It allows us to see with kindly eyes and rest in a wise heart.

Live in joy, in love,
even among those who hate.

Live in joy, in health,
even among the afflicted.

Live in joy, in peace,
even among the troubled.

Look within, be still.
Free from fear and attachment,
know the sweet joy of the way.

Buddha

How can we begin?

In any moment we can learn to let go of hatred and fear. We can rest in peace, love, and forgiveness. It is never too late.

Yet to sustain love we need to develop practices that cultivate and strengthen the natural compassion within us.

It is not enough to know that love and forgiveness are possible. We have to find ways to bring them to life.

~ The truth is we are not yet free; we have
merely achieved the freedom to be free.

Nelson Mandela

Traditionally
the work of the heart begins
with forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the necessary ground
for any healing.

First we need a wise understanding
of forgiveness.

Then we can learn how it is practiced,
how we may forgive both
ourselves and others.

Forgiveness is a letting go of past suffering and betrayal, a release of the burden of pain and hate that we carry.

Forgiveness honors the hearts greatest dignity. Whenever we are lost, it brings us back to the ground of love.

With forgiveness we become unwilling to attack or wish harm to another.

Whenever we forgive, in small ways at home, or in great ways between nations, we free ourselves from the past.

It is hard to imagine a world without forgiveness. Without forgiveness life would be unbearable.

Without forgiveness our lives are chained, forced to carry the sufferings of the past and repeat them with no release.

Consider the dialogue between two former prisoners of war:

Have you forgiven your captors yet?

No, never!

Well, then, they still have you in prison, dont they?

We begin the work of forgiveness primarily for ourselves.

We may still be suffering terribly from the past while those who betrayed us are on vacation.

It is painful to hate. Without forgiveness we continue to perpetuate the illusion that hate can heal our pain and the pain of others.

In forgiveness we let go and find relief in our heart.

Even those in the worst situations, the conflicts and tragedies of Bosnia, Cambodia, Rwanda, Northern Ireland, or South Africa, have had to find a path to reconciliation. This is true in America as well. It is the only way to heal.

Sometimes this means finding the courage to forgive the unforgivable, to consciously release the heart from the clutches of anothers terrible acts.

We must discover a way to move on from the past, no matter what traumas it held.

The past is over:

Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.

Sometimes strong action may be needed for our defense. Let this be done with compassion or our own hatred will poison the response. We can meet the tragedies of the world with what Gandhi called soul force.

~ If you want to see the heroic,
look at those who can love
in return for hatred.
If you want to see the brave,
look for those who can forgive.

Bhagavad Gita

Remember these truths:

FORGIVENESS IS NOT WEAK OR NAIVE.

Forgiveness requires courage and clarity; it is not naive. Mistakenly people believe that to forgive is to simply forgive and forget, once and for all. This is not the wisdom of forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT HAPPEN QUICKLY.

For great injustice, coming to forgiveness may include a long process of grief, outrage, sadness, loss, and pain.

True forgiveness does not paper over what has happened in a superficial way. It is not a misguided effort to suppress or ignore our pain. It cannot be hurried. It is a deep process repeated over and over in our heart which honors the grief and betrayal, and in its own time ripens into the freedom to truly forgive.