Jay Michaelson - God vs. Gay?: The Religious Case for Equality

Other Books by Jay Michaelson

Everything Is God: The Radical Path of Nondual Judaism

Another Word for Sky: Poems

God in Your Body: Kabbalah, Mindfulness, and Embodied Spiritual Practice

God vs. Gay?

The Religious Case for Equality

Jay Michaelson

QUEER ACTION/QUEER IDEAS

A Series Edited by Michael Bronski

Beacon Press, Boston

For God shall be between me and you, and between my seed and your seed, forever.

1 Samuel 20:4142

The facts which will cure this prejudice belong to the ordinary talk of ordinary people.

Iris Murdoch, The Moral Decision about Homosexuality

Contents

Intimate relationship heals the primary flaw in creation

A loving God could never want the closet

Love demands authentic compassion for others

Sexual diversity is natural and part of Gods creation

Honesty and integrity are sacred; coming out is a religious act

Inequality is an affront to religious values

One form of male intimacy is related to worship of foreign gods

Cruelty and inhospitality are the sins of Sodom

What Jesus didnt say about homosexuality

Men not being dominant is a consequence of turning from God

Christians should not mingle with a pagan, idolatrous, lascivious society

Love between men in the Bible

How did we get here from there?

Equality for LGBT people is good for families, marriage, and sexual ethics

The growth of religious values is good for individuals and religious communities

Sexual diversity, like other forms of diversity, enriches religious lives and communities

What is homosexuality for?

Postscript

A Note from the Series Editor

Religion is a part of every Americans life, whether she or he is a believer or not. It shapes how we make laws, who receives tax exempt status, and even how we establish national holidays. Most important, it informs how we think not only about sex but about love and intimate relationships. The United States was not founded on Christianity; it was established on the principles of human equality articulated by the Enlightenment.

Yet for the past half-century, a battle has been raging across America that has placed the scriptures at the center of the culture wars. This battle has shaped numerous aspects of American cultureoften around issues of sexuality and, in particular, same-sex desire, identity, and activity, including same-sex marriage, laws regulating adoption, and the formation of gay-straight alliances in schools. This struggle between traditional believers and those with a more secular vision about sexual freedom often reaches a standstill fueled by antagonism and misunderstanding.

In God vs. Gay? The Religious Case for Equality, Jay Michaelson offers a solution to this problem that has the potential of moving usas a culture and as individualsto a new level of personal and social acceptance. Arguing that Jewish and Christian scriptures do not condemn same-sex love and intimacy, but, when read carefully, actually command an acceptance of them, Michaelson challenges us to rethink traditional paradigms of religion and societyand in doing so, gives us a new way to think about our own lives.

Michael Bronski

Series Editor, Queer Action/Queer Ideas

Introduction

God versus Gay is a myth. It is untrue, unsupported by Scripture, and contradicted every day by the lives of religious gay people. Yet it is also among the most pervasive and hurtful untruths in America today, and people all across the ideological spectrum believe it. Religious conservatives, secular liberals, and millions of people across the gamut of American political and religious opinion talk past one another, in heated agreement that its either gay rights or traditional religion, the Constitution or the Bible. Pro-gay folks cant see how anyone could be opposed to equality, while opponents cant see how anyone could change thousands of years of tradition. The conversation goes nowhere.

Worse, this conflict is an internal one as wellinside each of us who has ever wrestled with sexuality and religion. Ive worked in gay religious communities for over a decade, and in that time, Ive met thousands of people wounded by what they see as the conflict between religion and homosexuality. I have counseled families who have been torn apart, people whose parents see them in the grocery store but wont acknowledge their existence. And before I came to reconcile my own sexuality and spirituality, I felt the conflict myself and wondered why God had cursed me. So long as the false choice between God and gay persists, our brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends will continue to struggle, continue to torment themselves, and continue to be excluded from their families and communities.

All of this is unnecessary. Religious people should support equality, inclusion, and dignity for sexual minorities because of our religious traditions, not despite them. Not only does the Bible not say what some people claim, but the Bible and centuries of religious teaching in Christian and Jewish traditions argue strongly for what sometimes gets called gay rights. You read that right: for gay rights. While there are half a dozen verses that may say something about some forms of same-sex behavior, what they have to say is ambiguous, limited, and widely misunderstood. Meanwhile, there are hundreds of other verses that teach us about the importance of love, justice, and sacred relationships. I know it may sound unusual or even heretical to say so, but after substantial research (both within my Jewish tradition and, as a scholar of religion and an interfaith religious activist, in multiple Christian ones as well), years of soul-searching, and years of working with religious gay people, I sincerely believe that our shared religious values call upon us to support the equality, dignity, and full inclusion of sexual and gender minoritiesthat is, of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.

So, if you are someone who struggles with the question of religion and homosexuality; if you are questioning your sexuality; if you are trying to reconcile your faith with the sexuality of a friend or family member; if you are a pastor trying to remain true to your ideals but compassionate to your parishioners; or, whatever your own religious or nonreligious views, if you are concerned about the hurtful, polarizing tone of political conversations about homosexuality, I hear you. I was like you. And this book is for you.

Admittedly, this book is for me, too. Before I came out, I was certain that being openly gay would spell the end of my religious life. I was an Orthodox-practicing Jew, and my religion gave meaning and shape to my life. But I repressed my sexuality, acting out occasionally but regretting it afterwards, and I tried, for years, to change. Eventually, after ten years in the closetan all-too-cozy metaphor for lying to yourself and others, and hating yourself for doing soI had had enough. The pain, isolation, loneliness, and shame had grown so greatthe futile relationships with women, the arguments with God, the hatred of myself for being unable to changethat I was ready to forsake my religion for the sake of my happiness.

But what I found was a shock: coming out was the doorway to true love, faith, and joy. My relationship to God and to my religious community grew stronger than ever before. My spiritual path began to unfold, my prayer life began to awaken, and my love for other human beings slowly unfurled itself and expanded. God versus Gay had very personal consequences for me, and I have written this book both to save other people from the hell I lived through, and to clarify and crystallize what I have learned over the years. God versus Gay isnt just a false dichotomy. Its a rebellion against the image of God itself.