Pain Is Inevitable but Misery Is Optional
Stick a
Germanium in
Your Hat and
Be Happy!
With a New Preface
Barbara Johnson
NASHVILLE DALLAS MEXICO CITY RIO DE JANEIRO BEIJING
1990, 2004 by Barbara Johnson.
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson is a registered trademark of Thomas Nelson, Inc.
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Scripture quotations used in this book are from the following sources:
The King James Version of the Bible (KJV).
The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.
The New King James Version (NKJV). 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publisher.
The Revised Standard Version of the Bible (RSV), 1946, 1952, 1971, 1973 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission.
The Living Bible (TLB), 1971 by Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, IL. Used by permission.
Selected poems are reprinted with permission from Ruth Harms Calkins books Lord, You Love toSay Yes 1976; Lord, I Keep Running Back to You 1979; and Lord, It Keeps Happening and Happening 1984. All rights reserved.
C. Austin Miles, The Worlds Greatest Need, from A Little More and a Little Less. 1939, Renewed 1967 by The Rodeheaver Co. (a division of Word, Inc.). All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.
She waited for the call that never came 1977 Ruth Bell Graham. Used by permission of World Wide Publications.
The Porch Light and Security Blanket 2003 Ann Luna. Used by permission of Ann Luna.
Robert E. Maner, Tunnel Walking, from Herald of Holiness. Used by permission of Nazarene Publishing House.
Hell See Them Home used by permission of Joyce Henning.
Many of the quips, quotes, and jokes in this volume have been contributed as unidentified clippings by the authors many friends, and although we have diligently tried to identify the materials origin, doing so was sometimes impossible. For items that are tagged source unknown or where no source is named, the writer is not known, and the author claims no rights or ownership.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Johnson, Barbara (Barbara E.)
Stick a geranium in your hat and be happy! / Barbara Johnson.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-8499-4479-6
1. MothersPrayer-books and devotionsEnglish. I. Title.
BV4847.J63
248.8'431dc20
8929511
CIP
Printed in the United States of America
09 10 11 12 13 QW 16 15 14 13 12
TO DAVID,
my son, who honors me by calling me his best friend.
His experiences blend with mine to be a lighthouse
for parents who are struggling to find some hope
for their broken dreams.
There is hope for your future, says the LORD,
and your children shall come back
to their own country.
Jeremiah 31:17,RSV
Called Larry in this book, as well as in Where Does a Mother Go to Resign? (Bethany 1979) and Fresh Elastic for Stretched-Out Moms (Revell 1986).
CONTENTS
Wrinkles Are Gods Little Way of Saying...
Im Stepping on Your Face
Ashleigh Brilliant, Pot-Shots No. 519, Brilliant Enterprises 1974. Used by permission
Praise for Barbara Johnson
Only heaven knows how many people have been lifted out of the doldrumsand placed on higher ground both emotionally and spiritually because ofthe wit and the spiritual depth of Barbara Johnson. What a great lady!
Tony Campolo,
Author and Speaker
Barb's sterling heart and character glisten with Christ's beauty, and herhumor keeps a smile on all of our hearts.
Patsy Clairmont, Speaker, Women of Faith,
Author, I Grew Up Little
I have never responded well to anyone trying to tell me to Be Happy. Ididn't want to deny the truth of my trials or fake joy for any reason. ThenI met Barbara Johnson. I heard her story, watched the way she lived, neitherdenying trials nor faking joy, and I thought, I'm listening... thiswoman can tell me anything she wants.
Nicole Johnson, Dramatist, Women of Faith,
Author, Fresh-Brewed Life
Barbara Johnson has walked through the darkness holding on to the handof God, and her life has become a brilliant light and comfort to millionsaround the world.
Sheila Walsh, Speaker, Women of Faith,
Author, All That Really Matters
I will forever be grateful to Barbara for how she has allowed God to useher.... Her life loves louder than her words. She is the real deal, and I amforever blessed and grateful for her role in my life.
Stephen Arterburn, Founder, Women of Faith,
Co-Host, New Life Live! radio program
Over a decade ago I went into a bookstore to ask for an inspirational bookthat would lift my spirits. The storeowner went immediately to BarbaraJohnson's book, Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy. I read thebook and fell in love with this wacky woman. Watching Barbara go throughher many trials has given me the image of what faith in God, trust in God,the love of God, and hope in God are from one who lives it.
Thelma Wells, President, A Woman of God Ministries,
Speaker, Women of Faith
Barbara Johnson is in a league of her own. She's a slice of Lucille Ball, acup of Erma Bombeck, a scoop of June Cleaver, and a gallon of Jesus.Barbara's words have touched more hearts and healed more hurts than anyfemale author of our time. I am so honored and humbled to call her friend.
Kathy Troccoli, Singer,
Author (with Dee Brestin), Falling in Love with Jesus,
Speaker, Women of Faith
Barbara Johnson is one of those rare gems who makes us laugh at theunlaughable at just the right moment in time to turn unbearable tragedyinto triumph. She has lifted the broken spirits of countless people across theworld with her writing, her talks, her personal calls, and her letters. Whata marvelous accomplishment it is that over a million people have read herwords of wisdom, humor, and inspiration in this one book alone. I considerit an honor to know Barbara as my dear friend.
Sam Butcher,
Artist and Creator of Precious Moments
Stick a
Germanium in
Your Hat and
Be Happy!
Other Books by Barbara Johnson
Where Does a Mother Go to Resign?
Fresh Elastic for Stretched-Out Moms
Splashes of Joy in the Cesspools of Life
Pack Up Your Gloomees in a Great Big Box, Then
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