Arnie Kozak - The Everything Guide to the Introvert Edge: Maximize the Advantages of Being an Introvert--At Home and At Work

Avon, Massachusetts

For the new crew: Mu, Harley, and Sumi

1. There is nothing wrong with you! Introversion is normal and valuableit is a connection to your interior that gives you an edge!
2. Introverts revolt! There is an Introvert Revolution underway and introverts are reclaiming their rightful place in society.
3. Dont believe the messages extroverted society has told you. You dont need to apologize for who you are and how you want to be.
4. Living in the extrovert culture, you will have to take care of yourself in special ways.
5. There are more introverts in the world than you realize. Half the population may be introverts.
6. Many famous, influential, and creative people throughout history have been introverts.
7. Being an extrovert is not ideal; it ignores the power of solitude, quiet, and contemplation.
8. Contemplative practices are the key to nurturing your introvert.
9. Introverts are subject to bias, discrimination, prejudice, and stigma especially in school and the workplace.
10. The Introvert Edge is available to extroverts, too, when they are able to tap into their interior depths.

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT a big party. You came with a friend and she is having the time of her life. You are standing with a glass of wine in your hands wondering how much longer you will have to be there. Your energy is draining each time you have to exchange small talk with another partygoer, like air being let out of a balloon with a steady deflating hiss. Youve already hid out in the bathroom twice and taken a walk outside. Your friend disappears from your side for long periods of time, flitting like a firefly and making excited chitchat with everyone she sees. You wonder, What the hell are they talking about? You dont feel like you have much to say other than, Good night. When she returns, your friend says, Isnt this the best party ever? You suppress rolling your eyes and just nod noncommittally. How much longer? you sigh to yourself. Time seems to drag; you want to crawl into a corner and take a nap. You check your phone again. Maybe I can have someone call me and fake an emergency so I can get out of this. You dont want to abandon your friend and insult the host who has gone to so much trouble to create this terrific party. You feel stuck, cranky, and hopeless. You silently vow to yourself that you will never accept another party invitation. Finally, you spot someone out of the corner of your eye who seems to be having as miserable a time as you are. You approach him and start a conversation. You agree to withdraw outside, where the stars are shining and it is quieter, to continue the conversation. Finally, you feel connected.

Perhaps you dont have to imagine this scenario. Perhaps this, or something like it, has happened to you. If so, you are likely an introvert. As an introvert, you would probably find the loud party draining. Gatherings like these are overstimulating. You dont like to spread your attention so thin; youd prefer to sink into one substantial conversation and really get to know someone and have her know you. You are bored to tears with the How was your summer vacation? kind of talk. You feel uncomfortable answering the question, How are you? by excited acquaintances you havent seen for a long time when you know they dont really want to know how you are; they want you to affirm that life is great! This is not your idea of fun.

When taken to an extreme, a dedication to positive energy, thinking, and behavior can become tyrannical. The significance placed on positive thinking in this culture can be relentless, pervasive, and oppressive. Many things are missing from the extroverts idea of society, such as room for the interior, the value of a subjective experience, and respect for quiet, solitude, and reflection. From the standpoint of the extroverted culture, introversion is a deficitsomething to overcome rather than to be esteemed, celebrated, and embraced. That is, until now.

An Introvert Revolution is underway. It is a quiet one, to be sure. There are many books, blogs, and articles that are applauding the long-neglected virtues of introversion. These authors give introverts a lexicon for understanding the mismatch between themselves and the broader culture. The Introvert Revolution wants you to embrace who and how you are and not apologize for it.

This book will explore every aspect of introverts and introversion. You can think of whats in these pages as a field guide for living a happy, productive, and creative life as an introvert, despite the loud majority of extroverts.

This book will empower you with the Introvert Edge. It will help you to claim your power as an introvertthe power that already resides within. The Introvert Edge will give this force a voice, even when that voice is soft or silent. Sotto voce is the authority of quiet, solitude, and stillness. It is the clout of me versus we. These pages will empower you to live in an extroverted world without apology.

To be an introvert in todays world requires freedom from the noisy cult of extroversion. With this book, youll learn practical wisdom to reclaim, redirect, and reappropriate your strength as an introverta composed, calm, and confident voice rising above the din of chaos, clamor, and confusion.

Introversion is not a disease, condition, or deficiency. It is a basic dimension of personality. There is nothing wrong with you if you are an introvert, but like a stranger in a strange land, you may feel out of place in a culture that is dedicated to extroversion. Understanding what introversion is and what it is not is the first step in embracing the Introvert Edge.

Introversion is one of the basic dimensions of personality. In fact, it may be the most basic dimension. Introversion exists on a scale with extroversion and you are mix of both. No one is a pure introvert or a total extrovert. If you are an introvert, your center of gravity will be with introvert traits. If you are an extrovert, your center of gravity will be with extrovert traits. Not all introverts fit the stereotype and neither do extroverts. You can also be in the middle. Just as there are people who are ambidextrous, there are people who are ambivertshaving a balance of introversion and extroversion.