Yogi Amrit Desai - The Yoga of Relationships: A Practical Guide for Loving Yourself and Others

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Table of Contents

Other Books by Yogi Amrit Desai

Kripalu Yoga: Meditation in Motion, Books I and II

Working Miracles of Love

Happiness is Now

Amrit Yoga: Explore, Expand and Experience the Spiritual Depth of Yoga

A Yogic Perspective on the 12 Steps

Amrit Yoga and The Yoga Sutras

Love & Bliss

Books about Yogi Desai

Ancient Wisdom, Modern Master

Appendices

Appendix 1

Yamas and Niyamas:
Guidelines for Day-to-Day Living

Appendix 2

Meditation on Healing Relationships

Appendix 3

Glossary

Appendix 4

About the Author

Yamas and Niyamas: Guidelines for Day-to-Day Living

The Yamas and Niyamas are the first two limbs of the eightfold Ashtanga Yoga, as set down by Yogi Patanjali (circa 2nd Century BC). Known today as the Yoga Sutras , his is the first written record of yogic practices. Prior to Patanjali, these sacred esoteric teachings were passed down by word of mouth, from teacher (rishi) to deserving student (shishya). Patanjali has left us a great yet mysterious gift. He outlines the following principles in Sutra II:30.

YamasObservances	NiyamasDisciplines
Ahimsa non-violence	Saucha purity
Satya non-lying	Santosha contentment
Asteya non-stealing	Tapas spiritual heat
Brahmacharya moderation	Swadhyaya self-study
Aparigraha non-attachment	Ishvara Pranidhana
surrender to the Divine

The Yamas and Niyamas are the foundation of both Hatha and Raja Yoga, and the basis for spiritual life. These ancient truths are as applicable today as they were in the days of Patanjali. The science of yoga is applied to our lives by examining unconscious habits, beliefs and behaviors and their consequences.

Too often, these universal principles have been reduced to the man-made concepts of virtues and vices, but they are not to be interpreted as conventional ethics or religious codes of morality. Integrating the values of the Yamas and Niyamas is not aimed at making us socially acceptable law-abiding citizens, but at facilitating an internal shift for inner transformation.

Morality and ethics can be adapted superficially while values remain dualistic. When idealistic concepts and religious behavior are merely adapted, they become a fanatic belief system, not integration.

If the spiritual principles are practiced as dos and donts, an inherent danger of guilt and self-rejection accompanies such unrealistic goals. Self-judgment always arises if we fail in one of the disciplines, which is likely to be a daily occurrence. Self-righteous attitudes turn into masks that obscure rather than reveal the Self. Behavior modifications that are adapted rather than sourced are inauthentic. Even the Yamas and Niyamas, if not practiced with mindful meditative awareness, can themselves become the cause of conflict.

Their purpose is to eliminate disturbances that come from within and without. They are not about reformation of the self-image, but about transformation and Self-discovery. They purify the body, mind and heart, while developing witness consciousness. Practiced through the medium of witness consciousness rather than from the judgmental seat of right or wrong, the meditative approach embraces all opposites. We must be willing to drop the barriers of the self-image and living in reaction if we are to awaken to reality. Once we practice the Yamas and Niyamas in their true spirit, we naturally perform the posture of consciousness in all our actions.

The YamasObservances

Ahimsa

Ahimsas top position signifies its primary importance. It is the very seed of the disciplines that follow. Ahimsa is more than the absence of violence. It is seeing through the eyes of love, acceptance of self and others, and exercising kindness, tolerance and consideration. It is called non-violence because we have no way of understanding what true love is, but we do know what it is not. Because we do not know what real love is, we automatically practice what we imagine it is. As a result, we miss the spirit of love and become the victims of our misguided concepts. This is why rishis , in their wisdom, defined love as ahimsa.

Violence can be present in either gross or subtle forms. When we are physically violent or express aggressive words or feelings, it is in its gross form. When we think angry thoughts, it is a subtle form of violence. Ahimsa must be applied to all thoughts, words and actions.

In yoga, we practice ahimsa both on and off the yoga mat. We are attentive to our attitudes, beliefs and speech and their subsequent impact. During the practice of postures, we do not become forceful with our body. We remain internally aware, dismissing self-critical mental comments. We accept ourselves as we are in the moment, without the need to deny our perceived shortcomings.

Ahimsa is the state that exists when all violence in the heart and mind have subsided. It is not something we have to acquire; it is always present and only needs to be uncovered. When one practices ahimsa, one refrains from causing distressin thought, word or deedto any living creature, including oneself.

Swami Kripalvanandji

Satya

Satya is truth that extends beyond not telling lies. If we live in truth, all parts of our being harmoniously function with one voice. When what we feel is different from what we think and when we do something different from what we feel or think, we are out of integrity with ourselves and the world.

Unconsciously motivated thoughts, speech and actions emerge from unresolved issues. Buried unconscious issues represent personal self-concepts that are in conflict with impersonal reality. Every conflict with reality is the same as lying to what is. When we identify with the self-image, we are not being truthful to the all-pervading universal Self. In truth, we are integrated, whole and undivided.

We need not worry about practicing truth in speech, but merely need to delete a little untruth from the mass of untruth we usually speak.

Swami Kripalvanandji

We cannot be truthful and at the same time be identified with who we are not. This is our ability to see the truthto see reality. Connecting with the true Self transcends the pre-programmed filters of the self-image.

Asteya

Asteya is not taking anything that does not belong to us, a paradigm that far exceeds tangible property. The underlying premise of coveting is the belief that we are insufficient. Asteya is an affirmation that we need nothing outside of ourselves to feel complete.

When we obtain what we desire by honest means, our mind remains at peace and free of fear. Non-stealing is not desiring anyones wealth by thought, word or deed, as well as not taking anyones possessions, no matter how small, without their permission.

Swami Kripalvanandji

All deficiencies are perceived deficiencies. Believing that solutions come from external sources, we desire what others have to make us feel whole. This is where subtle stealing, jealousy and competition are born. Once established in the knowledge that the source of both problems and solutions lie within, we realize that our inherent potential cannot be stolen. We are enough as we are.

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