David E. Fitch - The Church of Us vs. Them: Freedom from a Faith That Feeds on Making Enemies

G etting angry and making enemies has become such an everyday occurrence in our culture these days that many of us hardly take notice anymore. Our Christian fighting, however, is often subtler. We judge people with a smile and some prideful condescension; meanwhile, we are simmering beneath the surface in spiteful anger. Eventually the anger does erupt and the subtlety disappears, shocking us as if it appeared from nowhere. We are left wondering what has just happened. How did things get this way?

The story of Justin illustrates what Im talking about. He grew up as a pastors kid in a small town in rural Indiana. He was taught everything he needed to know about God in this one rural townwhat the Bible means, how to get saved, and how to be a part of a church. He learned how to read the Bible the right way, how to pray the right way, and how to have the right kind of personal relationship with Jesus. When he turned twenty-five, he moved to the big city to study at a seminary and work at a church. There he discovered that his way of doing things back home, his way of relating to God and going to church, was not the only option. He was bombarded with challenges, and this stirred up anger within. In the process, non-Christians were often dismissive of him, acting like his faith was from the Dark Ages. The main challenge for him, however, came from people who were supposed to be on the same side with him. It was inevitable that the frustration within him would start to simmer.

On top of all this, a moral failure by the pastor of his city church surfaced. The congregation wallowed in indecision as they fought over what to do next. The pastor, whom Justin had trusted, fell apart emotionally as he tried to defend himself. Divisive name-calling, slanderous rumors, and even angry shouting became commonplaceall in the name of Jesusand it led to a church split.

Before moving to the big city, Justin thought following Jesus was clear-cut and simple. He only had to believe the Bible the way his dad had taught him and go to church, as had been done for generations. But now he entered a crisis of belief that led to an eventual emotional breakdown. He tried to be nice through it all, but beneath the surface his emotions were taking him on a roller-coaster ride. He vacillated between being angry at Christians who hurt him and vehemently defending the faith of his childhood. It took him years to make sense of it all.

Ive interacted with many Justins over the years. His story illustrates the plight of many Christians in the age of Trump. The rug, it seems, has been pulled out from beneath our feet. Our beliefs crumbling, we work furiously to rebuild them. The spiritual leaders we trust fail us, and we in return lash out in pain, feeling betrayed. We react against those who question our foundation for living. When the world around us and the lives of people we love challenge the things we once learned as moral and spiritual absolutes, we are desperate to find a path but are holding a map that has lost its boundaries. At this point, we are angry at the past authority structures we once held on to. We distrust other Christians and what they are trying to do to us. This is not merely a shift in how we think about God and church. We have entered into an antagonistic mode of distrusting everything while fighting for something. As a result, we have whole generations who have left the church, who hold anger against the church, who simply find it hard to trust the church ever again. We are banging our heads against the wall of life itself as our eyes are opened to things that are just plain overwhelming. Whats a person to do?

Two Common Options

When the smoke clears, most people respond in one of two ways. One group opts for the defensive posture. They dig deeper into what they already know, reentrench themselves in their truth, and assess all other options according to the way they see things. As a result, they feel compelled to tell people what to think and how to live. This is defensive Christianity. Justins dad encouraged him to take this route. Every time he would visit his son in the midst of crisis, he would argue more intently on why the truth is the truth. His advice for Justin was to ground himself in the established truth, move on, and just live it out boldly.

The second group opts for accommodation. Here people shift their established beliefs to assimilate in some way with the ones who challenge them. This makes for a smoother navigation than the defensive route. Justins friends all around him could not understand why he took his faith so legalistically. Why was he so uptight, closed off, and rigid? Be free, they told him. Surely God wants you to be yourself and live your life to its fullest. Find the God who is more generous, affirming, and gracious. Because he had heard so much about Gods grace while growing up, this made some sense to him. So Justin started to accommodate. But after about five years, his life exhibited problems. He lost himself in bad sexual habits like pornography. He couldnt hold on to friends. He became devoured by the culture. His relationships with women grew shallow. He became consumed by his appetite for money. He started to crash and burn. He couldnt find his way through the worlds of post-Christendom. The way of accommodation provided him no direction through this mess.