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Praise for
THE PERFECTION DETOX
In The Perfection Detox, Petra Kolber teaches us recovering people-pleasers beset by anxiety and impossible standards how to embrace our cracks to find our light. I cant think of a more joyful, authentic, perfectly imperfect person to be the messenger for this movement. Its time to transform our inner prisons into freedom and joy by celebrating the very flaws that make us who we are.
J ENNY B LAKE , author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One
Petra is a guiding light to all of us who dont feel like we are enough. Perfectionism is an unnecessary epidemic and this book could not be more relevant or timely. If you give yourself a hard time and want to feel like the worthy, confident, whole person that you truly are at your core, this is a must read.
S USIE M OORE , confidence coach and author of What If It Does Work Out?
Petras understanding and personal recovery from perfectionism is not just a fresh concept worth reading about, it is a deeply lived success story that absolutely everyone can resonate with to one degree or another. Follow the practices outlined in this book and watch your life, health, happiness, and ability to take control of your world shift beyond measure. This is required reading for anyone who has ever said the words; must, should, have to or, When everything is perfect then Ill try!
M ELANIE S MITH , executive coach, heartbreak specialist, brand expert, entrepreneur, writer, actor, yogi, and mother
Thank you for this book! Not only for perfectionists but a gentle, powerful, and effective handbook for anyone on the quest for inner peace, higher consciousness, and a beautiful abundant life.
M ISTY T RIPOLI , creator of The GROOVE Method and founder of The World GROOVE Movement
This heartfelt offering from a reformed perfectionist is an ideal way to meet your fear, anxiety, and self-deprecation head-on with insightful narrative and activity. It will put you on your journey to guided inquiry, facilitating the transformation to a less perfect you. Thank you, Petra Kolber, for creating this contemplative tool to support the quest to become the happiest version of ourselves.
T AMI R EILLY , associate athletic director for fitness and wellness at Quinnipiac University, and international fitness presenter
For my perfect sister, Jennie
and in memory of our mother, Gwenda, who never expected us to be perfect, she only wanted us to be happy.
Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.
M ARY O LIVER
S O HOW DOES A RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST WRITE THE PERFECT INTRODUCTION? H OW does she craft an opening paragraph in which she earns your trust, and where you will fall in love with every one of those words? How does she write an opening built upon the wish that you will be seized suddenly by the feeling that you are about to have an encounter with a trusted friend?
The answer is, she doesnt. She doesnt, I dont, no one does no one knows how to write that perfect page. And this represents the quintessential perfectionists predicament: what we are striving for, and what actually exists, can never meet.
So the question then becomes, do I stop because it is impossible, or do I start because I believe this book will make a difference in your life?
Because I have done the work to rewire my perfectionists mindset, I was able to begin. I have created and crafted something and released it out into the world, flaws and all.
So, as I began doing the thing that terrified me, that is, writing this first page, I realized that this was the perfect metaphor for how perfection can shape and distort our lives. If I had waited for the perfect word, the perfect introduction, or the perfect moment to begin, this book would never have been written.
While it is impossible for us to get to know each other in a couple of paragraphs, perfect or not, what I hope you can sense is that you and I are kindred warrior sisters. I get you, I understand you, and we have gone through many of the same internal battles.
One of the reasons that I decided to write The Perfection Detox is that I know how lonely the planet of perfection is. I hope that as you finish reading this book, you will feel more of an insider than an outsider, more connected to the women you see all around you, and more empowered to start living your lifea life that is rooted in joy and lived on your terms.
I also consider it an immense privilege to be alongside you for this journey. While our backstories are different, I understand the deep pain and the constant struggle that come from living a life constantly monitored and judged by perfection.
There is a different way of moving through your days. A way of living that allows you to dance with your dreams instead of dodging potential mistakes. A life rooted in optimism, joy, potential, and possibility. A life that is waiting for you to take a spin with her, fully engaged with your heart and soul.
Now is the moment to take the first step back to your authentic self and toward your abundant future, as you would not have picked up this book (unless you thought this was a book on juicing) if you believed perfection was working in your favor. Before we get to those steps, its important first to think about what we mean when we expect perfection; what is this perfect that were so infatuated with?
FIRST THINGS FIRST: DEFINING PERFECTIONISM
To say that something is a perfect fit is to suggest that there could be nothing better. To do something perfectly means to have completed a task with a sort of divine level of skill and to have produced a product that is spotless, flawless, pristine. Culturally, we have been taught that perfectionism is something to be proud of.
But true perfectionists are unlikely to ever experience feelings of pride or satisfaction. They are more likely to feel disappointment and despair, perpetually dogged by the belief that they or others havent reached the golden ring of a flawless and faultless life. And therein lies the tortuous problem: perfect doesnt exist; its nothing more than a subjective, slippery conjuring of ones mind. Perfectionism, while not a disease of the body, is a cancer of the spirit and one that if left unmanaged will cause great damage to our life.