Joni Tada - Anger: Aim It in the Right Direction

The printed version of this eBook is the Anger: Aim it in the Right Direction pamphlet, ISBN-13: 9781596365117

Cover photo: Elena Petrova

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

It is illegal to photocopy, transmit electronically, post on the internet, or reproduce this pamphlet in whole or in part in any form.

2012 Joni Eareckson Tada
Rose Publishing, LLC
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Peabody, Massachusetts 01961-3473 U.S.A.
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• Find hope, security, and faith in the midst of your trials by learning 10 practical ways to deal with anger in just 30 minutes.
• Be inspired by Joni Eareckson Tadas personal stories describing her faith journey after becoming a quadriplegic at age 17.
• Unlock key scriptures that offer relief through godly lamentations.

Leslie (not her real name) learned recently that her husband Ray was seeing another woman. She was stunned. When Ray told his wife that he had decided to stay with the other woman, it shattered Leslies life. At first her shock and anger was directed against her husband: How can he throw away our marriage? How will I support myself? But as time wore on, another list of angry questions surfaced: Lord, is this what you do to your people who trust you? Why have you abandoned me and the kids to face this awful nightmare?

Leslie was becoming angry at God and she knew it. Am I supposed to paste on a good Christian smile and pretend everythings okay? I cant relate to the Bible anymore when it tells me to not complain.

Perhaps youve been there. Maybe your boss fired you unfairly, or you were abused as a child. Perhaps youve been betrayed or youre dealing with a progressive disease. Maybe your child is dealing with the disease and you are angry at God. You tense up when you think of him being sovereign over your life and all its misery.

As natural as anger may be, it has incredible potential to destroy. Some describe it as a black energy that demands immediate release and relief. Ironically, this sort of angerunrighteous angerends up turning on us. It lies to us, telling us that if we would just explode and let off a little steam, wed be okay. But when we do, were left feeling empty and despairing.

What Is Anger?

What is anger? Many dictionaries describe it as an intense emotional state induced by displeasure. But this definition is too vague. Its one thing to feel displeasure over a car breakdown or rain on our picnic. But when we get angry at a person, we are displeased with a choice she made or an act he performed. Anger at a person always implies strong disapproval. If you are angry at me, you think I have done something I should not have done.

The emotion of anger: Anger is a natural emotionbut anger is a secondary feeling. That is, its suggestive of something deeper: either weve been wronged and wounded emotionally or our sense of rights has been violated (I have the right to be understood, to be treated fairly, etc.). Ephesians 4:2627 shows not only that the feelings of anger are likely but that they must be dealt with: In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

The action of anger: The Bible underscores that anger itself is not sinful; its what we do with anger or how we express it that often gets us into trouble. Psalm 4:4 says, In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

When does anger lead us to sin?

Hannamariah

You see, all of our emotions are corrupted by sin. We need to bring our anger and hurtand all the rest of our emotionsinto the transforming presence of God. If we fail to submit our anger to God, that anger leads us away from Godthats unrighteous anger. It allows strong feelings of displeasure against God and his choices or actions in our life to foment and fester. Unrighteous anger breeds mistrust of God and eventually loathes dependence on God. The sad thing about this kind of anger is that it sucks the last vestige of hope from our hearts. We stop caring and feeling. We commit a silent suicide of the soul, allowing despair to move in like a damp fog, deadening our heart to the hope that we will ever be happy again.

John Piper explains, It is wrongalways wrongto disapprove of God for what he does and permits. Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just? (Gen. 18:25). It is arrogant for finite, sinful creatures to disapprove of God for what he does and permits. We may weep over the pain. We may be angry at sin and Satan. But God does only what is right. Yes, O Lord God, the Almighty, true and righteous are Your judgments (Rev. 16:7).

When Anger Turns to Despair: A Personal Story

Somewhere after the first year of lying paralyzed in my hospital bed, somewhere after my bleak prognosis of a lifetime of total paralysis drained every ounce of hopeeven anger, both righteous and unrighteousout of me, despair moved in. I refused to get up for physical therapy. I turned my head away when friends came to visit. I felt numb and emotionless (a clear symptom of anger that turns to despair). I didnt even have anything to say to the nurses and hospital aids that had become friends.

Hazel was a nurses aide from Mississippi who noticed I was slipping away. She knew I had taken a liking to her. She would amble into my room, pull up a chair, and take her breaks by my bedside. Wanna tell me about it, girl? shed ask, lighting up her cigarette. I gave her no reply. I just stared straight ahead. Hazel would smile, slowly blowing smoke in the other direction. Id grunt. You feel like bawling, you just tell me. Ive got a kerchief here handy, shed say, patting her pocket. Um. I didnt want to talk.

Phiseksit

I was so despairing, I didnt even want to eat. Once when Hazel was feeding me dinner, half-chewed food dribbled out of the side of my mouth. What in the world are you doing?! she shouted. My body reacted with a violent spasm. Hazel slammed down the plate of food and peas scattered everywhere. She forcefully wiped my mouth, crumpled the napkin, and threw it on the tray. You get yourself together, girl. Aint nothing wrong with you that a good look around this hospital wont cure. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I fought back tears. Now are you gonna eat this or what?!

Hazel had roused deep feelings of resentment. Yes, I spat back, Ill eat it! The food was tasteless, and I forced myself to swallow against a knotted stomach. Not a word was spoken between us. After she left, I struggled harder to contain the tears. I could not allow myself to cry because there would be no one to blow my nose or change my damp pillow.