Jacqueline Kramer - Buddha Mom

Table of Contents

JEREMY P. TARCHER/PENGUIN
a member of
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
New York

I am grateful for everyone and everything in my life that has brought me to this point.

I am grateful to Anagarika Dhammadina, Sister Ayya Khema, Thich Nhat Hanh, Bikku Mangala, the Venerable Ananda Maitreya, Bante Punnaji, and all the other monks and nuns who shared the precious jewel of the Buddhas teachings;

I am grateful to all the Religious Science Practitioners who wrap me in their love;

I am grateful to Louis Armstrong for helping me feel happy when all else fails;

I am grateful to my mother for modeling impeccability, the love of learning, and the importance of being a mench;

I am grateful to my father who, with the heart of a poet, taught me about power and supported me through thick and thin;

I am grateful to my brother Jono for showing me how delicious words can be;

I am grateful to my brother Greg for being my best friend in this world or any other, and for being a well at which I drink the Buddhas teachings;

I am grateful to all those who helped me hone this manuscript in its early stages, particularly Bante Selawhimila, Jack Kornfield, and Allysa Lukara;

I am grateful to chronic fatigue syndrome for keeping my seat to the writing bench so that this book could become a reality;

I am grateful to Hal Zina Bennett for being an honest, gentle guide through the editing process;

I am grateful to Joel Fotinos for midwifing this book with love and brilliance;

I am grateful to my darling Nicole for letting me share this intimate portrait of our relationship and for being so sweet and wise;

I am grateful to the garden, trees, wind, rocks, birds, bushes, sun, flowers, stars, bugs, and the moon for reminding me that life is good;

I am grateful to all mothers everywhere who are too busy living this book to write it.

If this book helps one mother in one moment it will have been worth all the effort it took to write it. Thank you for sharing this journey with me!

This book is dedicated to my first spiritual teacher and mother, Rose, and to all mothers everywhere. Bless you for all you do. I devote the merit of this work to the well-being of all sentient beings.

The author of this book is not only my best friend; she is my mother too. I view our relationship as unique. I have always felt like we are equals. We both give and receive in the same proportions. I have always felt I could talk to her about anything. I am just now seeing, at the age of twenty-one, my friends getting to a point of being comfortable with their parents and starting a friendship. I know that the relationship my mother and I have has also inspired some of my friends and ex-boyfriends to begin this process of maturity and unity among their parents. Unfortunately, not all parents are receptive to this kind of relationship, and lacking the closeness and trust that my mother and I have enjoyed, this can cause damage that sometimes is never healed. When I reflect on this, it shows me that I am truly blessed. I guess I could say that I have also experienced a more distant and less caring relationship with my father. He never took the step to open up to the development of our relationship.

One thing that needs to be acknowledged is the amount of love that my mother possesses. We come from generations of motherly women. I am now seeing it blossom within myself. I was born an only child but did not lead an only-child life. My mother treated all my friends as if they were her own children. In our house, there was a sense of love and comfort for everyone who ever walked in the door. My best friend would always come over when she was sick because she knew my mom would nurture her, and this was the feeling my friends always associated with my mom. They knew they could always come to her, no matter what. My mother and I were also foster parents for a portion of my life. The experience of seeing what these children in the foster-care system go through made me appreciate my life to the fullest extent, and I got the chance to feel what it would be like to have a younger brother or sister.

In my younger days I took my mom for granted. I was very angry and rebellious throughout junior high due to my anger and disappointment with my fathers and my relationship. I was always getting in trouble and disrespecting my mother. I remember the many times that I would call her nasty names or tell her I hated her. To this day, I still feel bad about those years. Im surprised she didnt lose all her hair in the process! I know she felt lost trying to help me. The truth is only I could help myself. She guided me in the right direction to overcome my wounds. What helped me the most was a wilderness survival program my mother enrolled me in. It had to be the best experience for me. I dug deep into the core of my problems and came to realizations about my past actions and how I was going to redirect my present actions.

My mother has taught me how to maintain physical, mental, and spiritual health. She has taught me by example. She eats healthily, does yoga, keeps a positive attitude, and meditates every morning. I was never forced to accept her way of life or practice it against my will. She provided me the freedom to simply observe or join in. Now, as an adult, I admire these qualities and find myself reaching for the levels of development that my mom has achieved. This is a recent development in my goals. As a teenager, I felt the need to separate myself from her in order to develop my own values and place in life. Today, I am tremendously grateful for all that she has provided. She has taught me so many wonderful values that I apply in my life.

I read this book alongside my mother as she was working on the final rewrites. It was a time for me to sit back and look at all that she has done for me. It just made my vision of her even more vibrant with love and respect. She is one of the purest and most giving human beings I have ever known. My friends, who knew her when I was growing up, will also vouch for that. I know if I ever run into any problems that I need help solving, the first person I would turn to is my mother. She is never one to take sides. With her, I get an honest answer that I sometimes dont want to hear, but which ultimately helps me find my own best solution.

It is comforting to know that someone will always be there for you no matter what. I could not be more content in this life she has provided me with. To all you new mothers out there I hope this book helps you and your child form a wonderful relationship.

Maybe, too, it will help you remember that it is not always going to be easy. I am confident in saying that the advice given in this book will help you through all the major challenges of motherhood.

And to my mom, there are not enough words to express my love and thanks for all you have given me. You have given me the gift of life with all the nourishment I have ever needed. I love you.