Kristin Armstrong - Ties that Bind: A 52-Week Devotional for Mothers and Daughters

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Copyright 2013 by Kristin Armstrong

Cover design by JuLee Brand

Cover photography by Nic Taylor, jose luis pelaeagetty images

Cover copyright 2013 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.

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First ebook edition: November 2013

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THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN 978-1-4555-2900-1

I dedicate these pages to the generations of women in my life who have shaped me and guided me, and the legacy we create together. The ties that bind us are sacred and secure.

For my grandmothers, Aune and Mildred. I lost both of you in the process of writing this book, and the ache is fresh. I hope to honor you every day of my life.

For my mother, Ethel. Your heart and your wisdom are all over these pages. I love well because I have been well loved. Thank you, Mom.

For my daughters, Isabelle and Grace. I wake up every single day and want to be a better woman because you are my girls. I love you with all my heart, always.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

2 Corinthians. 9:15

My mother, wearing braids made by my grandmother.

I would like to thank my editor, Jana Burson, and my publisher, Rolf Zettersten, at Hachette Book Group. The only thing better than doing work you love is doing work you love with good friends.

I would like to thank the inner circle of mothers and daughters I know and love who took the time to preview these pages and give me heartfelt feedback and inspiration. I appreciate you more than you know.

I would like to thank my Bible study sisters. Weve raised our children side by side for over a decade now, and I am blessed to make this journey together. Thank you for your encouragement, wisdom, accountability, humor, and most of all, your prayers.

A h, yes. Mothers and daughters. What could be more powerful, more fierce, more fragile, more fraught with emotion and layers of meaning than the relationship between a mother and a daughter? Every single woman bears the legacy, and sometimes the scars, of this most intimate tie.

Ultimately we are the product of our relationship with God. But the foundation we have with our family has a great deal to do with how we see ourselves along the way. Some mother-daughter relationships are healthy and joyful, some are broken, some are passive-aggressive, some are guilt-ridden, and some represent total abandonment. The healing and wholeness we have sought, or havent, impacts our ability to mother, our daughters ability to mother, and on and on for generations. Our relationship with our mother impacts our friendships, our marriages, and our mothering. It colors the way we view all our relationships with women. Are we healthy and free? Or are we competitive? Demanding? Hurtful? Withdrawn? Judgmental?

We struggle in relationships with our toddlers, our adolescent girls, our teenagers, our girls leaving home, our girls getting married, our girls as they parent our grandchildren. We get stuck in our relationships with our mother-in-law and our daughters-in-law. We resort to old patterns that have never worked for us in the past because we dont always seek Gods wisdom in these timeless relationships. Our love is complicated (I need you/Leave me alone). We need Gods word to help us grow up and into free and beautiful relationships. As painful as it is for daughters to pull away and grow, it is equally painful for mothers as they endure the separation. What if we relied on God to help us learn to understand and love ourselvesand each otherbetter as we grow up and grow old?

That is my hope for this book, to explore where weve been, where we are, and where we want to go. This book represents a yearlong journey, intended to be taken together. Each week we will delve into a new area, and hopefully, with Gods help, we will reach deeper levels of understanding, communication, and healing.

Mothers have braided their daughters hair for generations, and in that simple act of love we can see that a cord of three strands is not easily broken (Eccl 4:12). As we weave our relationships with our daughters with a third strand, our faith in Christ, our ties to each other will be healthy and strong.

Gods Word never returns to Him void. Lets open our hearts and minds and allow Him to work on us. The femininity of our family, the legacy of our love, the genuineness of our generations is at handHis hand.

With great love and anticipation,

Kristin

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:57

T here is no better place to start than here. This is explicit instruction on how to begin to forge a relationship with Godlove Him with everything youve got. To love Him, you have to get to know Him, and that is exactly what we are going to do together this year.

Embedded in these verses are also some explicit instructions on parenting. I just love how God put this here, up front in His manual, so to speak. As Gods rules, or His commandments, are laid out, He makes it quite clear to parents that it isnt enough that we imprint these laws on our hearts. We are also called to impress them upon our children. Which means that we know them well enough to teach them and live them well enough to represent them. This is a huge undertaking, a powerful call. If it feels enormous, it should, because it is.