Kenneth Copeland - How to conquer strife

How to Conquer Strife

The fight is onat every level. Strife is separating nation from nation, brother from sister and husband from wife. The conflict comes in varying degreesfrom minor disagreements at the office to bomb-dropping border disputes between nations. But one thing is certain, if you're going to live in this world, you're going to have to deal with it! And, as a believer, you're going to have to deal with it severely.

Strife isn't something you can treat casually. It's a deadly enemy. Just look at what the Word says about it. James 3:16 says where strife is there is confusion and EVERY evil work.

Allowing strife to go unchecked or entering into it opens the door to every evil work. Careful study of the New Testament reveals strife as a deadly enemy that must be stopped in our daily lives.

In fact, as a born-again child of God, you're not only expected to avoid strife, you're expected to be a "peacemaker" (Matthew 5:9). But is it really possible to live in a world that's so full of strife without being drawn into the conflict yourself?

That's a question I used to ask myself a lot. My life used to be full of turmoil and conflict. Even as a boy, I fought over everythingmy bike, my clothes, anything. It seems like I was always fighting!

When I was in grade school I stood out like a sore thumb because all of the other boys wore blue jeans and I wore corduroy knickerbockers. So other boys made fun of me by imitating the sound my corduroy britches made as I walked, "Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh."

And all of the other kids laughed at me.

That always started a fight!

It never took much provocation for me to end up in some kind of strife with someone. Even as an adult, I'd look for opportunities to fight. I'd try saying something ugly in the elevator and then watch all the women's ears roll up!

Then I'd hope some fellow would say something about it so that maybe I'd get to hit him! I was pretty ornery before I made Jesus the Lord of my life.

Even after I was born again, I could be pretty ornery. But then I fought with my tongue instead of my fist. I said cutting things that packed a more powerful punch than my fist ever did. Instead of slugging a man in the face, I hit him in the heart and that was much more devastating. A black eye will heal in just a few days, but a wounded spirit will fester and fester until someone reaches in there with the love of God to heal it.

What I couldn't understand is why I spoke more harshly to my family than to anyone else. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't speak a kind word to them. I criticized Gloria's driving so much that she nearly refused to drive while I was with her. And I criticized her flying until she finally decided to just sleep and let old "bad mouth" do all the flying. The way I spoke to my children was no better.

I didn't want to be so insensitive, but I couldn't help it. I had a well-developed habit of speaking harshly and didn't know how to change it. One day I realized that I could hardly remember the last time I said something kind to my children. That was when I decided that I had to change some things. But how?

I asked the Lord, "How do I change a pattern of behavior that's been part of me for so long?" I knew that Ephesians 4:29 said,

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

And harsh words and criticism are certainly not edifying and gracious. I was willing to change this pattern, but I needed a replacement for the things I was so used to saying, something more powerful than these words of strife and criticism.

I found that alternative in Ephesians

5:3-4. "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks."

The alternative to speaking ugly is thanksgiving. The New English Bible says it this way, "No coarse, stupid, or flippant talk; these things are out of place; you should rather be thanking God." I realized that I couldn't speak harshly and thank God simultaneously. I couldn't criticize those around me if I had a thankful attitude about them.

I immediately decided to put this principle to work in my life. Rushing into my son's room one day ready to lambaste him about something he had done, I recognized my old behavior pattern. I just stopped and said to myself, The Word says that this kind of behavior is out of place, so I am going to stop and thank God. I wasn't nearly as angry after I spent a few minutes praising and thanking the Lord for him.

We're not supposed to correct our children in anger. Ephesians 6:4 says,

"Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to angerdo not exasperate them to resentmentbut rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord" (The Amplified Bible). And verse 1 of Chapter 5 said that we are to "be..followers of God, as dear children." In other words, we are to imitate God as children imitate their parents.

When we miss the mark, God doesn't hit us with a barrage of verbal abuse!

Rather, He corrects us with gentle reproof, and that's the way we're to correct our children. When we're angry, if we'll just stop for a few minutes and thank the Lord, it will change the way we discipline them.

This approach will work in any situation where there's a temptation to tear into someone with cruel and unkind words. When someone crosses you on the job, at school, or wherever, instead of the verbal abuse, let your mouth be filled with praise to your God.

He is worthy of your praise! If you are thinking about how good God is, you can't be talking about how bad others are!

A lot of believers don't realize it, but this is what Jesus meant when He said that we are to take up our cross and follow Him. People have some strange ideas about what their cross in life is.

Some think it's sickness. Others believe it's poverty. Still others think that their unruly teenagers are their cross to bear.

But the one thing that you will never be rid of in this lifethe one thing that will be your cross to bearis unkind, hard-to-love people. There will always be someone who will try to provoke you.

But in order to stop strife, you'll have to take up the cross and follow Jesus.

How did Jesus respond to unlovely people? He imitated His heavenly

Father and spoke the Word of God. He said, "The words I speak are not My own. I only say what the Father tells Me to say" (see John 8:28). And John 3:34 tells us that because He only spoke the Word of God, He had the Spirit in an unlimited measure. The power of God was Jesus' vindication in every situation, not His smart-aleck words! He didn't use any flippant words. He only said what the Father told Him to say.

In Ephesians 4:29-32, we find the kinds of things the Father is telling us to 12 How to Conquer Strife

say.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Notice the words even as. We are supposed to be imitating God no matter

what the circumstances are. We are supposed to be acting like God, speaking His words and doing His work.

If we keep ourselves busy doing His thing, we won't have time to do our thing! We will be so full of God's love that there won't be any room for strife.