Gary Simmons - The I of the Storm: Embracing Conflict, Creating Peace

Also by Gary Simmons

Embrace TigerReturn to Mountain: Spiritual Conflict Management (audiocassette)

First edition 2001

Sixteenth printing 2011

Copyright 2001 by Gary Simmons. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from Unity Books, except in the case of brief quotations embedded in critical articles and reviews or in newsletters and lesson plans of licensed Unity teachers and ministers. For information, write to Unity Books, 1901 NW Blue Parkway, Unity Village, MO 64065-0001.

To place an order, call the Customer Service Department: 1-800-236-3571 or go online at www.unitybooks.org .

The publisher wishes to acknowledge the editorial work of Michael Maday and Raymond Teague; the copy services of Thomas Lewin, Marlene Barry, and Mary Lou Kaltenbach; the production help of Rozanne Devine and Jane Turner; and the marketing efforts of Allen Liles, Dawn O'Malley, and Sharon Sartin.

Cover design by Cherie PeltierPimento Creative

Cover illustration by Rafael Lopez

Interior design by Coleridge Design

Library of Congress Control Number: 2001086907

ISBN 0-87159-270-3

ISBN 978-0-87159-783-0

Canada BN 13252 9033 RT

Acknowledgments

ANY WORTHWHILE ENDEAVOR begins as an idea and ends with an outer accomplishment. Yet it's the everywhere in between where lives are changed and blessings garnered. I have been blessed by the writing of the book because it is a creation of Spirit. The spirits of friendship, love, encouragement, insight, awakening, discovery, discipline, and possibility are the influences behind, above, before, and between these pages.

I wish to thank first my former congregation, my friends at Unity of Fayetteville in Arkansas who so graciously released me to my ministry of reconciliation. Thank you, Peggy, Mark, Rose, Dave, Joseph, Kate, Kim, Carol, Annette, Theresa, David, Mary Alice, Charles, Harriet, Kathleen, Mike, John, Linda, Marilyn, Rene, Allie, Vic, Edith, J. C., Gennie, Beth, Raymond, and Sylvia.

Thanks also to my colleagues on the Association of Unity Churches Standards Committee, each of whom I owe a debt of gratitude for their willingness to believe in me. They were not only a source of encouragement and strength but helped make it possible that my work would have global impact. Thanks especially to Rev. Marilyn Muehlbach and Rev. Marleen Davis, who became my cheerleaders and soulmates as we envisioned a new paradigm for peacemaking in the Unity movement.

Then there are the champions themselves, the peace workers who have proved the principles of this book in their peacemaking. Thanks to Steve Towles, Claudell County, Nancy Worth, Mary Ann Finch, Max Lafser, John Butler III, Roger Goodwin, Diana Hughes, Audrey Bickford, Susan Gideonse, Victoria Lafser, Nancy Purcell, Robert Stocks, Kate Peppier, Ben Andrews, Juhlie Anderson, Patty Edwards, Margee Grounds, David and Alice Durksen, Donna Winchell, Lawrence Palmer, Kristine Broderhausen, Bonnie Gilbert-Ache, Nellie Flemming, and Clare Austen.

Many others have touched me with their love, support, and encouragement as I have endeavored to journal the principles of conflict transformation. I wish to thank my boss, Dr. Glenn Mosley, president and CEO of the Association of Unity Churches, who has given me the freedom to create my passion. Thanks, too, to Rev. Carl Osier, M.D.; Rev. Joann Landreth; and the Association of Unity Churches staff for supporting me in every way. I am also indebted to church management consultant Barbara O'Hearne for her commitment to excellence.

Then there are my mentors, coaches, and friends, some who have gone the second mile with me when others might have given up. Thanks to Connie and Rod Welty for taking me in when I was homeless; to Doris Hoskins for being my buddy; to Beth Ann Suggs, who sat in the fire with me; to Maria Nemeth for gifting me with an awareness of my wholeness; to Thomas Crum for helping me truly see the magic in conflict. Thanks to Harry Payne and Grandmaster E. C. Ahn for teaching me about perseverance; to Dennis and Kit Neagle, who turned my world upside down; to my friends Craig and Barbara Oliver; and to Mardana Jones, who saw with me the best of times and the worst of times.

To my dear friend John Babbs, who has been my compass and pathfinder: Thank you, John, for your guidance, love, and insight. And to my colleague, brother, and coconspirator, Bill Williams: I thank you for turning my lights on.

Finally, I wish to thank my sweetie and wife, Nan; our kids; our families; my parents; and our furries. You are my greatest teachers and closest friends.

Introduction

NO ONE IS AGAINST YOU. This is the absolute Truth. You may not believe it now. You may have a lifetime of evidence to the contrary. But until you realize that the entire universe is for you, you may never experience your wholeness and true worth. The purpose of this book is to awaken you to the Truth that there is only one presence and power at work in your life, and that this presence and power lives in you as the Spirit of God. For this reason no one or nothing can be against you. To realize this is to claim your divine inheritance as a beloved creation of God.

How This Book Will Help You

Self-help books usually contain exercises and how-tos as a means of effecting healing and personal transformation. In the arena of creating harmony and living from wholeness, I will share two useful methods of integrating the principles of this book.

The first method is what I call aware-therapy, or aware-apy. At the end of each chapter are questions or exercises that will help you examine your thought processes and belief system. An example of an aware-apy question is, How is it possible to be afraid? As you attempt to answer this question, you will first recall situations that have felt threatening. You may then look deeper and notice that present fears are rooted in past issues. As you continue to explore the question, you may discover that fear is only possible when you don't feel connected to your sense of wholeness and worth, or when you don't see God in the situation. Your effort to be with the question is a kind of aware-therapy and helps you break up the solidified metaphors that reinforce your belief system. If you can see that fear is not so much evidence of danger, but rather an indication you are not connected to God, you may respond differently to a threat the next time one arises. Unless someone has a gun to your head or a knife to your throat, defensiveness rooted in fear only reinforces your sense of separation.

The second method is working with the principle of center. Centering helps you to embrace difficult situations without becoming defensive or reactive. Centering is a body/mind dynamic. Your body must be relaxed and your mind must be capable of shifting attention and awareness in order not to create resistance. The shifting of attention and awareness is key to moving from center. If you look into a car window on a bright and sunny day, you easily see your reflection. With a little effort, you can shift your attention to become aware of what is inside the vehicle. We are conditioned to see the reflection first, because how we look or how we are being perceived is what matters most to us. Seeing beyond the reflection and into the interior of an issue requires a willingness to look harder and in a new way. This is what I mean by shifting attention and awareness to center. From center, we see, say, and do something entirely different from what we see, say, and do when relating to the reflection.

Table of Contents

Foreword