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Sue Hadfield - Change One Thing!: Make one change and embrace a happier, more successful you

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A self-help manual on creating reasonable, achievable improvement in your life

In our attempts to overachieve, many people find themselves frustrated because they cannot relish in their own successes. Though these professionals may reach their goals of job titles and financial stability, they often sacrifice their personal and family lives and discover deep dissatisfaction. In Change One Thing!, self-help author Sue Hadfield outlines the necessary steps to address the disillusionment that has become a common problem in our work-driven society. While whirlwind change can be overwhelming and unrealistic for a modern worker with a family and responsibilities, Hadfield asserts that a determined person can bring about an impactful change in his life by simply altering one aspect of it.

  • Teaches readers to avoid emotions of hopelessness and panic associated with changing too many aspects at once
  • Details a step-by-step plan to make a meaningful change
  • Shares real-life examples of people who successfully altered their lives

Those who recognize that professional success is less fulfilling than other facets of their lives will find comfort and guidance in Change One Thing! as they embark on missions to improve their lives.

Sue Hadfield: author's other books


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Table of Contents

2014 Sue Hadfield Registered office John Wiley and Sons Ltd The Atrium - photo 1

2014 Sue Hadfield

Registered office

John Wiley and Sons Ltd, The Atrium, Southern Gate, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 8SQ, United Kingdom

For details of our global editorial offices, for customer services and for information about how to apply for permission to reuse the copyright material in this book please see our website at www.wiley.com.

The right of the author to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, except as permitted by the UK Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at http://booksupport.wiley.com. For more information about Wiley products, visit www.wiley.com.

Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. All brand names and product names used in this book and on its cover are trade names, service marks, trademark or registered trademarks of their respective owners. The publisher and the book are not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. None of the companies referenced within the book have endorsed the book.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with the respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. It is sold on the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services and neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising herefrom. If professional advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-0-857-08460-6 (pbk) ISBN 978-0-857-08458-3 (ebk)

ISBN 978-0-857-08457-6 (ebk)

Cover design by Mackerel Ltd

This book is dedicated to Elliot Eddy Hadfield, who is just beginning his journey.

This is your time and it feels normal to you, but really, there is no normal. There is only change and resistance to it and then more change.

Meryl Streep

Introduction

You are living in interesting times

During your lifetime things have been changing constantly so that when you look back on your younger self you are amazed at the things that you now take for granted (mobile phones, the internet, wind turbines, cycle lanes, electric cars, barcodes, iPads, Amazon, Google, plasma TVs, men pushing baby buggies). There are also things that have disappeared: people smoking in restaurants, cinemas and on aeroplanes, metal dustbins, cheque books, many local pubs and small shops, Woolworths, Comet, videos, records and cameras with films.

And it's not just technology that has changed in your lifetime. Natural disasters, such as the Boxing Day Tsunami in 2004, Hurricane Katrina and the Pakistan earthquake in 2005 affect us all, for a while, as we become one world in the face of such destruction and devastation. Similarly, world events like the fall of the Berlin Wall (1989), the Channel Tunnel (1994), 9/11 (2001), the election of America's first black president (2008), even records being broken in the Olympics (and Murray winning Wimbledon), change the way that we see the world and consequently, the way that we see ourselves.

Your life will continue to change

We may welcome new gadgets in the belief that they make our lives easier, and we may regret the passing of the familiar things from our past, but the one certainty in life is that everything changes. Your personal life too will have changed: nobody stays the same person they were as a teenager. Can you remember a favourite book, or film, or band, or hobby, a person you admired, or your ambitions as a teenager? They would almost certainly be different to your choices today. The experiences you have had in your life have changed your attitude and will continue to do so.

You are leading an interesting life

In your life so far you will have passed through different phases. As a child you thought that you could be anything you wanted to be: if anyone asked, your answers might have varied from astronaut, to explorer, from vet to footballer, from author to musician. As a teenager, you probably felt confused and began to change or modify your aspirations. As a young adult, you may have begun to have doubts about whether you had chosen the right path. You will certainly have had some successes and relationships and achievements that make you feel proud of yourself. As your life progresses, it becomes complicated by relationships and ambition and social status.

Changes that have happened to you

Your life so far may not have been easy: you may have had accidents or illnesses, you may have been lied to or betrayed, you may have done things that you now regret. You may have found yourself doing things in order to fit in with others in your social circle or to make yourself feel secure in the future. Whatever resentment or sadness you feel about the past, it's over and only exists when you choose to recall it. There is no point in raging against the unfairness of life, or missed opportunities, or comparing yourself to those who seem to have it easy.

Changes that you choose to make

Many of the changes that have happened in your life have simply happened you have had no choice in the matter. But you are not a helpless pawn in the game of your life; you have also made decisions that have changed the course of your life so far. When you make a change in your life, it can simply mean that you stop doing something that you have been doing (such as spending money on coffee everyday); or you stop doing something and replace it with something better (like cycling instead of driving to work); or you decide to add something new to your life (like volunteering).

If you have tried, but failed, to make changes in the past (such as when you made a New Year's Resolution), it may be because the goal that you set was too big or too general. Making a decision to go on a diet or to take more exercise is often doomed to failure because the ambition is too wide-ranging and open to disappointment. You may have had a feeling of hopelessness when things go wrong, but everything you have tried in the past is useful. You have not failed if you learn from your experiences and if you are determined to keep on trying.

Fear of change

You may have a sense of dissatisfaction or discontent with your life at the moment but feel anxious about making a decision that you may regret. It may seem safer to let things stay as they are and to settle for what you already have. You may unconsciously be waiting for something to happen that will cause you to make a change.

It takes courage to examine your life and to decide that there are things you would like to change, and it takes even more courage to do something about it. Research shows that when you are young you tend to worry about making a change because you are afraid that things might go wrong that you might make the wrong decision. When, you get older, however, you tend to regret the things you didn't do (rather than the things you did).

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