Tracey Cox - SEX SOS: How Can I Last Longer In Bed? His 10 Top Questions About Performing Better In Bed

www.lovehoney.co.uk

SEX SOS:
HOW CAN I LAST LONGER IN BED?
BY TRACEY COX

Bath, Dallas, Hong Kong

Editor: Richard Longhurst
Art Director: Gordon Druce
Design: Jason Weaver
Senior Editor: Lucy Reeves
Portrait Photograph: Liz Gregg

First published in Great Britain in 2011 by Lovehoney Limited, 100 Locksbrook Road, Bath, BA1 3EN

A Lovehoney International Company

Copyright Lovehoney Limited
Text copyright Tracey Cox

Mobi ISBN: 978-1-908887-08-5
ePub ISBN: 978-1-908887-09-2

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.

Contents

SOS Tips:

SOS Tips:

Why SEX SOS?

My new series of e-books is designed to give you instant, practical, useful information about specific topics youre most interested in without having to wade through an entire book to find what you want to know.

The advice centres around a Q and A format but there are also tip boxes and lots of general pointers thrown in as well. As with all my previous books, the advice is applicable to everyone: single, married, shacked up, straight, bi or gay.

Because its a mini-book, its just too confusing to put in all possible couple combinations so Ive gone the standard heterosexual route and sincerely hope this wont cause offence to anyone who isnt in your standard relationship.

As always, Im also presuming everyone reading and using tips or techniques from the book practises safe sex.

Now onto the fun bit: reading it! I hope you find this e-book helpful and try others in the series too, if they take your fancy.

Enjoy!

Tracey x

Youre not alone

Ive been a sex columnist for more than 20 years and have dealt with pretty much every sort of sexual problem you can imagine. I expected recurring themes but I am still continually astonished at what proportion of the letters and emails I get from men that focus on premature ejaculation (PE) or coming too fast. At least half are from men wanting help with this problem.

PE is recognised as the most common sexual problem for men with official statistics putting it at around 30% of the male population. Personally, Id say its much higher and there are plenty of sex therapists who will agree with me.

If you suffer from PE, the first piece of reassuring news I can give you is that youre not alone! It might not be something you talk about when down the pub with your mates but you can bet your next pint, in any group of 10 men, there will be at least four who think they ejaculate too fast on some or all occasions.

You can bet another pint that the men who do, feel ashamed and less manly because of it. PE doesnt just stop you enjoying sex fully, it eats away at self-esteem and stops a lot of you forming relationships. As much as you crave love, affection and regular sex, youre too scared to go there for fear of being found out: the moment when she realises you dont last long enough.

Some women are understanding about PE but a lot arent. If you experience PE and are sexually active, youve probably been called inconsiderate or immature. As a teen you were probably told youd grow out of it because its very much seen as a young guys problem. Its not. PE isnt fussy with who it affects and cuts across a variety of cultures and age groups.

Research into PE continues with the giant pharmaceutical companies competing to be the first to come up with a pill that will cure PE. Some are convinced there already is one (read on), others believe another better version is on the way. At the point of publication, there doesnt appear to be a no-fail solution to curing PE but there are a number of things you can do to manage it and this is what this e-book is about.

Its designed to inform, reassure and most importantly, offer tips and advice which, I promise, will make a difference. Most of all, it should boost your confidence and shatter the myth that PE isnt something real men suffer from.

The same way that real men do eat quiche, real men have PE. The good news is, people dont fall in love with each others bits or how those bits perform. They fall in love with the person attached to them. If you meet or are involved with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself because of PE, quite frankly theyre the ones with the problem, not you.

Now thats out of the way, lets get started!

Do small guys come faster?

QI come way too quickly and I am wondering if this is because I am quite undersized in the penis department. Could there be a link and how do I stop it happening?

A Unfortunately, youre right there is a link. Not only do below average sized men have to grin and laugh along (hollowly) to all those big-is-better jokes, they do tend to suffer the indignity of also ejaculating much faster than their larger friends.

The reason why is all penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If your penis is small, theyre concentrated over a smaller area. This makes you uber-sensitive and everything feel far too delicious which, in turn, makes you prone to premature ejaculation.

The opposite is true for men with big penises because the nerves are spread over a larger area. Highly unfair, yes, but sadly one of those urban myths that actually does have a base in reality.

Other things you might not know about your penis:

• Penis envy does exist but only within the male population. About the only time women wish they had one was when they want to do a pee outside.
• The average number of erections the average guy gets per day is seven. But dont get too excited: five of these happen while youre asleep.
• Two in every thousand men are capable of giving themselves oral sex. Sounds great but would you? Really?

Why do anti-depressants help?

QIve tried just about everything to stop myself coming too soon but its still happening. I read online that taking things like Prozac or another anti-depressant can help. Is that true? It seems like a strange link to me. Why would these affect how long you last in bed?

A Because anti-depressants work on our brain and, with most things, our brains control what our body does. The brain has whats called neurotransmitters chemicals released that tell our nervous system what to do (eat, sleep, run, fight orgasm). A lot of sex research thats been done recently focuses on the brain and PE is no exception.

Studies have found two particular neurotransmitters seem implicated in PE. Youve probably heard of both of them. Serotonin is the happy hormone which affects our sleep, mood and appetite for food and sex.

Researchers found men with PE had low levels of this neurotransmitter and one of the main functions of anti-depressants is to boost serotonin levels, so it stands to reason they might have an affect on PE. So far, results have been semi-promising though not extraordinary. Some say it helps, other say the side effects of anti-depressants like decreased desire put them off (and sort of defeats the purpose of taking them in the first place!).