Laura Schlessinger - Love and Life

Millions follow radio talk show host Dr. Lauras Schlessigner as she offers no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility.

In her newest book, Love & Life, Dr. Laura dives into the controversial topics and thorniest problems that face todays parents and grandparents, husbands and wives, men and women, and everyone seeking love, fulfillment, successor simply anyone who wants to be a decent and productive human being.

With her trademark provocative, firm, but always thought-provoking and values-centered advice, Dr. Laura provides guidance that will inspire readers to be the very best they can be. Based on the tough-love advice from the calls and letters Dr. Laura receives, Love & Life will provide solutions to every situation that modern life can present including:

Dating, Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage

Parenting, Grandparenting & Blended Families

Honesty & Personal Responsibility

Standing Up for Faith & Beliefs

Let Dr. Laura help you take back the power in your relationshipshappiness will follow!

Love
& Life

Love & Life

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, MFT

Humanix Books

Love & Life

Copyright 2020 by Humanix Books

All rights reserved

Humanix Books, P.O. Box 20989, West Palm Beach, FL 33416, USA

www.humanixbooks.com | info@humanixbooks.com

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any other information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.

Humanix Books is a division of Humanix Publishing, LLC. Its trademark, consisting of the words Humanix, is registered in the Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries.

ISBN: 978-163006-125-8 (Hardcover)

ISBN: 978-163006-126-5 (E-book)

Printed in the United States of America

10987654321

To all who practice:

Good thoughts, good words, good deeds

Zoroastrian belief

and

To all who have trusted me to help them
be and do better in life and love

Contents

Preface

F or 15 years I have written monthly columns for Newsmax, and I have appreciated Newsmaxs loyalty and support. When it was suggested to me that a curated and edited selection of these columns would make a timely and useful book, I was touched. These are my thoughts on a range of subjects having to do with making the most out of life with relationships and purpose.

As I read the selections made by the publisher, I frankly was impressed by the thought that went into organizing and editing 15 years worth of 12 columns per year. It was left to me to add the commentary surrounding each chapter and essay. A labor of love.

I have spent my life dedicated to helping peopleadmittedly with a blunt, frank, sometimes shocking style... but always with compassion toward those who are truly committed to morals, values, principles, and ethics but struggle with their childhood pain and nasty impediments to their well-being. After over four decades on radio, I am gratified on a daily basis that helping one caller may help many thousands of listeners.

Thank you to SiriusXM and Geoff Rich (business manager and friend) who continue to support my voice being heard, especially in a growing environment limiting the speech of those not popular with activist groups.

Read each section slowly, and think seriously about the messages. Converse about the concepts with those close to you... Lets try to perfect the world together.

Part One

LOVE & MARRIAGE

Joy does not come from unfettered, spontaneous revelry.
Joy comes from caring for someone who actually gives a damn.

T he singularly most wonderful advice to ensure a quality life with another human being to whom you are committed was emailed to me from a gay man. He was playfully lamenting that straight folks are often quite negative about gay relationships, while their marital failure rate was so high. He thought the solution was quite simple: CHOOSE WISELY, TREAT KINDLY.

Wow! Yup, I would say that most marital failures are based on not choosing wisely and not treating kindly.

Wake up every day, look over at your spouse, and plan what you will do to make your spouse happy that he or she is alive AND married to you!

CHAPTER ONE

Reality Check for Love

I will make it simple: Treat your spouse in the ways that would make YOU want to come home to YOU.

Five Secrets to a Satisfying Marriage

It started off as a routine call to my radio program. A husband and wife were on the line together wanting to know what they could do about their constant bickering and lack of intimacy. Their call was not about sex; they articulated their problem as not feeling close at all. They both work full-time, the husband then goes to school full-time in the evenings, and they have two children in day care.

Before I tell you what I said to them, let me tell you that I race sailboats with an experienced crew. We each have a task, and when each of us commits to fulfilling that task, we excelto our mutual satisfaction.

My task is to drive the boat. I cant do that correctly unless the trimmers have the sails in their proper place; I also need my tactician to direct and the crew to alert me to wind puffs, swells, and other boats that can give me disturbed air or that I might collide with. My job is to keep my attention inside the boat in order to get the best performance out of the boat.

Similarly, families need to work as a team, with each member having areas of responsibility. When there is no one paying attention to making a house a home, making it a priority to properly raise the children, or nurturing a marriage, unhappiness, frustration, loneliness, and ultimately disconnection are almost a promise. The family capsizes.

To the couple I said, Theres just too much on your plate. This is a definite gave at the office moment. The wife seemed relieved, probably feeling too overwhelmed and undernourished by her life, having little to no time with her children and husband, and not having the peace and joy of building a home. Her husband got angry and began arguing with me. I sat there stunned. For me it was as though a tornado was clearly bearing down on us and he was denying that it could cause disaster.

I understand why he might be so entrenched in his rut. I understand why he and so many others have life backwards. Instead of working for family, they are working in spite of family. In an article published in USA Today, a study showed that the costs of day care, preschools and nannies now consume so much of families incomes that working parents are basing major decisions about their jobs and families on how much care they can afford. The costs are leading to wrenching choices... some are working more than they like so they can afford child care costs. The amazing aspect of this article was that having a mom or dad at home raising children was never indicated as a reasonable, respectable, or plausible choice!

The Wall Street Journal featured an article about power couples who, though they have plenty of money to spend, have scant time to spend with each other. These are two of thousands of such presentations of acquisition, self-fulfillment, power, and status being more important than love, nurturance, raising children, and living a life where interpersonal obligations and family dynamics are tertiary (not even secondary).