Table of Contents
Acclaim forYou Unstuck
Are you in a rut? Is your gut reaction to change a negative response? In You Unstuck, Libby Gill will help you understand the way you look at risk-taking so you can start moving past your fears and excuses, toward success. This book is a powerful tool if you know you need to change but dont know how. Read You Unstuck and get your life back on track!
Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager and Leading at a Higher Level
Loaded with practical, proven strategies you can use immediately to take full charge of your mind and emotions in any situation. You Unstuck shows you how to unlock your full potential for exceptional living.
Brian Tracy, author of Reinvention: How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life
You Unstuck is extraordinarily motivating! Libby takes on the big monsters of overwhelm and then kindly provides the perfect step-by-step approach to changing the important things that have dogged you for years. I use her lessons and insights every day.
Martha Finney, author of Rebound: A Proven Plan for Starting Over After Job Loss
Libby Gill grabs hold of you and helps you create a vision for career and life change. And she stays right by your side, guiding you through the risk-taking process until youve made your vision a reality. If You Unstuck cant help you get your life and career on track, nothing can!
Erin Gruwell, editor of The Freedom Writers Diary
You Unstuck will guide you to become the leader of your own life. Its practical strategies for personal and professional success provide a fail-safe framework for getting where you want to go. This book could not be more timely!
Tiane Mitchell Gordon, Senior Vice President Diversity and Inclusion, AOL
This is a great book! If youve been feeling stuck in some area of your life, You Unstuck can help you break through and take things to the next level.
Tony Hsieh, CEO Zappos.com
You Unstuck gives you a great combination of common sense coaching and scientific research to help you understand why you stay stuck in limiting assumptions and how you can finally break free. I highly recommend it.
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Embracing Uncertainty
You Unstuck helps you reach inside and determine whats really important. It gives you a step-by-step guide for finding the courage and confidence to move toward what you want. It should be required reading for anyone with a job, a family, a goal, or a dream!!
Todd Blevins, Vice President, Cadbury plc
Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
CHAPTER 1
Stuck Happens
The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.
PEMA CHODRON
Everyone gets stuck. Its part of being human. Maybe youre stuck in your career, finances, health or relationships. Or maybe life dealt you a bad blow like a layoff or divorce. The real question is this: What are you going to do about it?The
You Unstuck is designed to give you the hope and tools to get you past your sticking points. Hope because thats the one thing you cant afford to lose if youre going to succeed in work and life. Tools because the process of life change is so thoroughly misunderstood, you may have been going at it all wrong. Otherwise, you wouldnt be stuck right now, would you? Its like trying to change a flat tire without a jack. The more you try, the more hopeless you feel and the more hopeless you feel, the more stuck you are. I want to help you change all that.
I know a lot about being stuck. Ive been stuck in a family plagued by alcoholism and mental illness, in an overweight and out-of-shape body, in a marriage that wasnt right for me, and in a corporate career where the stress nearly killed me. Through trial and error and sheer perseverance I changed every single aspect of my life so that today Im fit and healthy, Ive got two happy and productive kids, a terrific love life, and a business that feeds me emotionally and financially. It wasnt easy to get unstuck and it didnt happen overnight because I simply didnt have the proper tools or guidance. But I had an abundant supply of hope that kept me moving forward. Now, I have road-tested tools that can unlock change and I want to share them with you.
First, lets see if any of these describe you:
You know what changes you need to make but youre not making them
You know what you want but you have no idea how to get there
When you think about change, you feel totally overwhelmed
Your life is basically good, but theres one area that you keep avoiding
You are living other peoples ideas about who you are and ignoring your own
You are being held back by the same thing that held you back last year, five years ago, maybe your entire life
Youve lost a job, a loved one, or a nest egg and its got you totally shut down
Youre willing to change everything about your life except the one thing you know will make the real difference
Youre embarrassed to tell one more person what you want to do with your life
No one wants to listen to you talk about what you want because they dont believe youll ever change
You feel like youre missing out on something and if you dont go after it now, you may regret it forever
Youre scared to go after the one thing you really want, because if you dont get it, what does that say about you
Youre afraid that if you fail, it means that you are a failure
Youre afraid if you succeed, no one will love you anymore
The truth is, you already know that all you need to do is change your behavior to change your life. If youve been laid off or you hate your job, you need to get your resume together and start interviewing. If you want to find a romantic partner, you join a singles group or an online dating service. If youre overweight, you hire a trainer or start moving more and eating less. Its all pretty straightforward. But if its so easy, why arent you doing it? And if you are doing it, why hasnt it been working?
Because getting you unstuck is less about changing your behavior than it is about changing your beliefs. Sure, youve got to take action. Your body isnt going to miraculously drop those 30 or 300 pounds all by itself, no matter what the latest diet guru tells you. Your dream job isnt going to land in your lap unless you go out and find it. But if you dont change your belief system as youre changing your behavior, your results will probably be short-lived and possibly even counterproductive. Thats why 90 percent of dieters put all the weight theyve lost back on within a year.
Throughout this book, youll see sidebars to help you isolate key tips, tools, and concepts. These include the Risk-Takers Tips, which are quick snapshots to help you expand your perspective on risk taking; Risk-Takers Tools, exercises designed to challenge your awareness and build your behavioral repertoire; and Risk Reinforcement, homework assignments for you to do at a later time to reinforce key concepts covered in each chapter.
