Hughes Jack - The gentlemans handbook: the essential guide to being a man

Contents

A PERFECT GENTLEMAN IS A THING WHICH I CANNOT DEFINE ANTHONY TROLLOPE

Are you a gentleman? Am I? Im not totally sure. Chances are youre not either. I certainly hope I am. You do, too. Dont you?

A perfect gentleman is, indeed, a hard thing to define. Its like trying to describe the feeling of true love or the look of perfect beauty: an almost impossible task. Perhaps thats the point. The very vagueness and mutability of the concept is designed to keep us on our toes, so that we constantly strive to be the very best version of ourselves.

We can be sure of a few things. A gentleman dresses elegantly. He smells nice and takes care of himself and his home. He is confident in all social situations and takes care to put others around him at ease. He is respectful of women but not too respectful. He is ambitious without being overbearingly so. He is never ostentatious, vulgar or boorish. He is a great wit. In short, he is a total pleasure to be around.

Other aspects are less clear and subject to change. What about the chivalry and selflessness that were once considered hallmarks of the true gentleman? What does that really mean now that most of us are no longer called upon to defend our country and women can hardly be considered the weaker sex?

This book will seek to answer these questions of etiquette, taste and style in all aspects of a mans life. Because while there has never been a definitive expression of what a perfect gentleman is, we all know one when we see one. And its something we all want to be.

THE MEDIEVAL KNIGHT

The word gentleman dates back to medieval times. Gentle referred to a man who was a member of the gentry. While he was expected to be a brave warrior, a gentleman also lived by a chivalric code of honour. According to a famous poem of the era, The Song of Roland, a gentleman strove to respect the honour of women, refrain from the wanton giving of offence, eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit and at all times speak the truth.

THE RENAISSANCE MAN: BALDASSARE CASTIGLIONE

A gentleman should never appear to be trying too hard. His brilliance should seem effortless and natural. The Renaissance author Baldessare Castiglione called this essential quality, sprezzatura. In The Book of the Courtier, a kind of self-help manual for the upwardly mobile Italian aristocrat, he described it as a, certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.

THE REGENCY BUCK: BEAU BRUMMELL

A gentleman is never ostentatious. But it was not always so. Before Beau Brummell, men dressed in clothes that would have made Gianni Versace blush; with lots of gold, filigree, braid and frill. Brummell preferred simple outfits distinguished by their flattering cut, in a sober palette of navy, grey, black and buff. He was a stickler for personal hygiene and insisted on bathing regularly and having his clothes laundered. Both were revolutionary for the time. While Brummell was not of aristocratic birth, he became the acknowledged arbiter of its taste, a power he wielded with great relish. The Prince Regent was said to have burst into tears when Brummell told him his breeches did not fit.

THE VICTORIAN WIT: OSCAR WILDE

Words are the clothes you dress your thoughts in. So a gentleman must be as eloquent as he is elegant. And none were more so than Oscar Wilde. Here was a man who could let his words do the talking. A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude, and, I am easily satisfied by the very best are just two of the scores of Wildean maxims that you should live your life by.

THE EDWARDIAN DANDY: THE DUKE OF WINDSOR

While he was undoubtedly one of the most stylish men to ever wear a Savile Row suit, the Duke of Windsor, contributed little else. But his impact on the male wardrobe cannot be ignored. His laidback style was a precursor to the easy elegance of Fred Astaire. Softly tailored suits from Anderson & Shepherd, Fair Isle knits, cuffed trousers, the double-breasted dinner jacket, brown shoes with blue suits, were quite radical at a time when members of the aristocracy still dressed with military precision and formality.

THE MATINE IDOL: FRED ASTAIRE

He was neither tall, nor dark, nor particularly handsome. But he was charming, stylish and talented. As a dancer, singer and actor, no one embodied the new, democratic ideal of the gentleman in quite a charming a manner as Fred Astaire. While his clothes were English, he wore them with a grace, fluidity and ease that were all American. Astaire proved that style, charm and talent, not high birth, were the keys to being a gentleman. It was now a club anyone could join. Anyone, that is, willing to put in the effort. In doing so, he allowed all men to dream that one day, a swell gal like Ginger Rogers could be theirs too.

THE JAZZ MAN: MILES DAVIS

How did the great jazzmen of 50s and 60s America respond to the racism and hatred directed towards them? With elegance and style. While the discordant melodies and unpredictable, off balance rhythm of Miles Davis music was revolutionary, his nonchalant persona and classic Ivy League style was calm and unruffled. What Baldassarre Castiglione called sprezzatura, Miles Davis called cool.

THE I - GENT

The gentleman is now a truly democratic, global phenomenon. Whether hes from Tokyo, New York, Milan or Paris, the i-Gent blogs, tweets and updates his Facebook status with the wit and charm of a modern day Oscar Wilde. While he might not wear a suit, he dresses in the latest fashions with an effortless elegance. And hell show you on Instagram and Tumblr. When it comes to determining taste and etiquette, its no exaggeration to say that the i-Gent is now more influential than the Prince and the Hollywood star.

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

Tea

Tea is important. In a 1946 essay for the London Evening Standard, A Nice Cup of Tea, George Orwell wrote,Tea is one of the mainstays of civilisation in this country. According to Orwell and the British, its almost impossible to get a nice cup of tea outside of Great Britain. So heres how to do it in the proper Orwellian (and British) manner.

Loose leaves are better than tea bags. But if you must, always put the bag in first before the water. The water must hit the tea boiling hot in order to release the flavours.

Make tea in small quantities, ideally, in a teapot. Tea made in a huge urn tastes horrible and should be avoided. The pot should be made out of china or earthenware.

The teapot must be warmed with a splash of boiling water before adding the leaves. You can also preheat your cup if you desire.

Tea drinkers like Orwell, liked their tea strong. He recommends six heaped teaspoons of tea per quart of water.

Do not imprison the tea in muslin bags, strainers or little steel baskets. The tea must be allowed to circulate freely in the boiling hot water so that all the flavour is released for a full-bodied taste.