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SEX PLUS: LEARNING, LOVING, AND ENJOYING YOUR BODY . Text copyright 2018 by Laci Green. Illustrations by Ellen Porteus. Anatomical illustrations by Nyk Rayne. Infographics by Ellice Lee. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

www.harpercollins.com

COVER ART BY ELLEN PORTEUS

COVER DESIGN BY SARAH NICHOLE KAUFMAN

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018943100

Digital Edition SEPTEMBER 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-256100-8

Print ISBN: 978-0-06-256097-1

ISBN 978-0-06-256097-1 ISBN 978-0-06-288929-4 (special edition)

18 19 20 21 22 PC / LSCC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

FIRST EDITION

This book is written as a source of information on sex, sexual health, and sexuality. It is based on the research, experience, and observations of the author, who is not a medical doctor. While all efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this book as of the date published, by no means should it be considered a substitute for the advice of a qualified medical professional, who should always be consulted for any specific conditions or problems you may have related to sex and sexuality. In addition, the author and the publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects arising from the use or application of the information contained in this book.

I CANT REMEMBER THE EXACT MOMENT sex became a dirty word to me. It certainly didnt start out that way. One of my earliest memories is staring in fascination at my moms very large belly when she was pregnant with my brother. Supposedly, she had a freaking human growing inside there. And like most kids, I was curious about bodies, especially naked ones. I wanted to know what was underneath peoples clothes, and why boys and girls had different stuff down there.

On rainy school nights in Portland, Oregon, my dad would take me to the public library downtown. The library felt huge and enchanting, full of secrets waiting to be set free. During one memorable visit, as I was strolling through the maze of towering bookshelves, I stumbled on a small shelf of human anatomy books. I picked out the one with a naked person on the front (of course) and hid it behind the pages of a childrens book so that I could sneak a read. I was about eight at the time, and while I clearly had an inkling that I was doing something forbidden, I didnt feel much shame about it.

From then on, the anatomy section became a regular pit stop at the library. Through books with blunt descriptions and colorful diagrams, I learned that females can produce milk because of their mammary glands and that penises contain a spongy tissue that fills with blood. This is also how I learned where babies come from. I learned that human females have eggs while males have sperm, and sex is how you put those two together to make a baby. I was riveted by human sexuality from the start.

By age ten, I had declared that I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. My family was very supportive of my interest in the human body, and they offered me books and computer games to learn about biology. My room was cluttered with diagrams of the human cell and plastic models of body parts. I was as curious as I was precocious.

But as my body awkwardly hurled toward pubescence, things started to change.

EVERY MORNING IN JUNIOR HIGH, I would slip my sterling silver ring onto my pointer finger. It was etched with flowers and a purple shield marked C.T.R.a reminder to Choose the Right. I had received the ring after being baptized into the Mormon church a few years earlier. I took pride in wearing it and didnt think much about it. Until I realized its significance.

One weeknight during youth group in my early teens, me and the other girls my age from church sat cross-legged on the floor of the churchs gym. Sister Thompson, our group leader, placed a tray of cookies in the center of the circle and opened up the first conversation I had ever had out loud about sexuality. She told us that as we grew from girls into women, boys would soon find our bodies tempting. Heck, we might even be tempted ourselves. As she spoke, she passed a plastic baggie of abstinence rings around the circle. When she noticed I was already wearing one, she stopped and praised me. I felt my cheeks flush, and the ring suddenly felt hot around my fingers... the very fingers I had used to masturbate that morning. While it hadnt even occurred to me to have actual sex until that very conversation, I sure had been having some sexy thoughts. A lot of them. Mostly about cute boys at school.

Now, to be fair, Id tried to push these thoughts down.

All the way down.

Further.

Resist the thoughts!

KEEP PUSHING!!!!

The trouble was, the more I tried not to think about it, the more I thought about it. Not only did I start having more sexual thoughts after that lesson on abstinence, but they were surfacing in ever more creative and spectacular detail. Great.

In ninth grade, similar messages were repeated in PE health class, just with some sexier packaging. During our week-long unit on sex, our teacher warned us that teenage boys have a hard time controlling their sexual urges. Girls, he said, gotta keep boys in line. If a boy is getting handsyand they will get handsyits a girls job to tell him no. In order to prevent disease, heartbreak, loose vaginas, pregnancy, and a whole grab bag of consequences, sex had to be avoided. The only other thing I remember from that class was a horrific birthing video that featured a woman screaming her lungs out for ninety minutes. I still see that video in my nightmares.