Lee Eisenberg - Shoptimism

Gaining access to a store or e-commerce site requires no official letter of introduction or special favor. But heres a nod anyway to Steve Jobs (Apple Store), Howard Schultz (Starbucks), Terry Lundgren (Macys), Michael Duke (Wal-Mart), Leslie Wexner (Limited Brands), Jeff Bezos (Amazon), Mickey Drexler (J. Crew), and especially Bob Ulrich (former CEO of Target), not to mention hundreds of other major and minor merchant princes, for their unwitting hospitality these past three years. Not oncesave for that hair-raising episode on Canal Streetwas I challenged to explain why I was lurking in their stores, peeping at customers and sales associates, while not (aside from the occasional burst of impulse) stooping to buy all that much.

Gaining access to research papers and out-of-print books, well, that was another story. Here I needed as many friendly introductions and favors as I could haggle. Harvards John Deighton, the editor of the Journal of Consumer Research, kindly issued me a passkey to the archives of that publication and pointed me in the direction of contributors whose work he deemed most appropriate to the task at hand. He and numerous other academics responded graciously and promptly to e-mails, phone calls, and the occasional request for a face-to-face meeting. I thank them all for their unstinting time and patience, particularly Grant McCracken, Russell Belk, Stephen Hoch, Thomas OGuinn, Al Muniz, George Loewenstein, Americus Reed, Daniel Horowitz, Craig Thompson, Mary Ann McGrath, Linda Tuncay, Dan Ariely, Ronald Faber, Lorrin Koran, Cele Otnes, and Lisa Penaloza. A special thanks goes to Brittany Duff and Dan Duff for the morphing of Sam Waterston and the stand-in subject, page 120. Donald Black and Scott Rick not only enlightened me on the mysteries of compulsive buying and brain science, they were also kind enough to review portions of the manuscript. Needless to say, any misinterpretations of studies in those or any other specialized fields rest with me.

Al Filreis, who directs the Center for Programs in Contemporary Writing at the University of Pennsylvania, deserves great thanks for the many favors he bestowed: an ongoing opportunity to exchange ideas with the talented undergrads who find inspiration and refuge at the beloved Kelly Writers House at Penn, and also for swinging open the door to the online resources and stacks at the Van Pelt Library. Thanks, too, to Mingo Reynolds and John Carroll for helping me make the most of many visits back to campus. They showed me where I could find what, made sure I never got lost, and, best of all, extended friendship and good cheer.

Christopher Fielder (Experian) and Steve Moore (Claritas) were most accommodating when it came to my requests for materials and interviews related to their bucketing operations. So, too, was Kathy Grannis at the National Retail Federation, who paved the way into the NRFs BIG Show. Im also grateful to David Rabjohns and the folks at MotiveQuestin particular, Kirsten Recknagel, the companys estimable and gracious director of researchfor their hospitality and generous assistance.

Barbara Sylk and Ann Mashburn, two longtime friends of my wife, were kind enough to put me in touch with far-flung friends of theirs who, with frankness and self-effacing humor, responded to various survey questions and willingly bared their shopping soulsusually on the condition that I would keep their identities and confessions secret from their spouses and partners.

As for the idea that led to this book, credit or blame falls to Bruce Nichols, a terrific editor and all-around good guy, who pitched the notion over lunch one day. The project then passed to Martin Beiser at Free Press, also an all-around good guy, who put up with me for the long haul. And, once again, I am indebted to the entire Free Press teamas committed, creative, and supportive as a writer can ever hope for: Martha Levin, Dominick Anfuso, Suzanne Donahue, Carisa Hays, and Nicole Kalian, among many others.

Michael Solomon, Lisa Grunwald Adler, Betsy Carter, and Marilyn Johnsondear friends, funny, tooissued exceedingly useful editorial suggestions whenever I called out for help. And I cant be effusive enough when it comes to praising Chris Jerome, who lent aid, comfort, humor, and, of course, her ever-sharp copy editors eye.

And then there is the Indomitable One: my agent, Esther Newberg.

Finally, I commend my kids, Ned and Katherine, for their encouragement, but even more for their maturing awareness that, to paraphrase Robert Louis Stevenson, the world is filled with wondrous thingswhich doesnt mean a students allowance is sufficient to afford all of them. And, through the beginning, the middle, and the end of this adventure, there was Linda. Sure, she wound up with a dress and a forty-dollar necklace, but her patience and love are beyond payback.

The perfect gift

THIS SHOPPING JOURNEY IS OVER. BUT NOT SO MY HOLIDAY GIFT buying. Too many choices, too little time. I can brave the crowds on the Magnificent Mile, grabbing and going. Or, as is more likely, retreat to the blissful quietude of online picking and clicking. That will take care of the how. Now its a matter of what and for whom.

The way we set about gifting others, and how and when we gift ourselves, has received its share of attention over the past decades. In the midnineties Cele Otnes and Richard F. Beltramini pulled together an anthology of gifting studies that provides a sampler of insightsdata-rich, of courseinto the American way of giving and getting:

The reasons we bestow gifts, according to respondents: they enable us to express pleasure or show friendship (42 percent); they are means by which we obtain or bestow pleasure (27 percent); because we feel obligated to (15 percent).

Moneynot china or kitchen applianceshas become the wedding gift of choice, a development that the Romantic buyer in me takes as unwelcome news.

We give gifts coded to express positive emotions, depending on the occasion. For birthdays, housewarmings, at the end-of-year holidays, we give gifts coded Joy. For graduations and retirements, we give gifts coded Pride. For hospitalizations and going-away parties, we give gifts coded Hope. And on Valentines Day, Mothers and Fathers Dayalso at funeralswe give gifts coded Affection. And, yes, on all of the above as well as other occassions, we give gifts coded (you can always tell) Obligation.

The gifting anthology devotes a chapter to self-giftingas in, Here, from me to me, with love and kisses! A box of chocolates, a dozen roses, a pair of platform pumps, a new putter. The technical term for self-gifting is monadic giftingi.e., relating to one, as opposed to dyadic gifting, wherein two agents are at play. For Classic buyers, the kind who cling to the virtue of self-denial, a monadic gift not infrequently comes with strings attached: anxiety and guilt. David Glen Mick, a former marketing executive and now a consumption don at the University of Virginia, has examined the occasions and excuses that characterize monadic gifting, or special indulgences, he calls them. There are romantic self-gifts that express how peachy we feel about ourselves at any given moment. And there are therapeutic self-gifts that jack up our spirits when were low. But some self-gifts, in my experience at least, defy explanation. Last week I gave myself a silky black turtleneck. All I can say about the circumstances surrounding this monadic gesture was this: I was hanging around a store, keeping warm as I waited for Katherine to meet up with me. I was not, as far I know, feeling blue, nor had I done anything that day or even month that begged for self-reward. Heres why I think I gave myself that shirt: It was on sale. It had a satisfying, smooth feel. I had nothing better to do at the time. And I had my credit cards with me.