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Tingle - Game Of Butts: The Pounds Of Winter

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Tingle Game Of Butts: The Pounds Of Winter
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V. 1. 1873-75: March, 1873: Cheyennes Eagle House burns ; Indians restless along the Chug [Chugwater] -- April, 1873: Ranchers on constant lookout for Indians ; White Clay mail carrier killed ; Bull train hauls 75,000 pounds freight per trip ; Rings for Lallee ; Gift wagons from Jules Ecoffee no account ; Echoes from the Modoc War ; Stage coach stalled, soldier freezes, in blizzard ; General Grant and family visit Cheyenne -- May, 1873: A loan from Hi Kelly ; Deep snow from Bear Springs to Cheyenne ; Cheyenne to Omaha by train, $31 ; The mystery of Little Mary ; Early oil discovery near Teapot Dome -- January, 1875: A blue financial outlook ; Lucky at cards ; trouble in Louisiana ; Sawing beef like ice at 51 below zero ; Government pays eight cents for meat ; Bids $1680 per annum on mail route from Medicine Bow to Ft. Fetterman -- February, 1875: History of Bordeaux ; The murder of Baptiste Ladeau ; Six Mile Ranch favorite spot for killings ; Cy Williams sells his life dearly ; Missouri Jim frosts his ears and gets a grubstake ; Jim Harwood, John Boyd go for blacksmith, return slightly inebriated ; Roundup in Goshen Hole ; Jim Hunton out all night looking for ponies ; Driving Painted Horn beeves to Ft. Fetterman ; Lallees allowance -- March, 1875: 102 cow hides a heavy load, sell for $5.50 each in Cheyenne ; Gold excitement and trouble brewing in the Black Hills -- April, 1875: Pants for three brothers, $35 ; Butchers wage, $50 per month ; Why 80-year-old bridge across Platte [River] is still sturdy ; Wins chairs in raffle, trades with Speed Stagner for rug ; A bad night at cards ; Butcher Fischer has the Quinzy [quinsy] ; Broken legs for Ward and Jim Lane ; Numpa [Nampa?] says Indians will fight for Black Hills ; An adventure with Lallee -- May, 1875 : A peace conference that failed ; Spring roundup ; Brooks sells out to Guiterman [Getermann] ; Charles E. Clay, Huntons contemporary ; A military expedition -- June, 1875: Walker & Johnson gather 934 beeves ; Indians steal horses on Rock Creek and Laramie Plains ; Gathering wire near Old Fort Casper ; Cavalry unable to cross Platte, returns to Ft. Fetterman ; Horse racing and liquor ; Griffins Ranch burned -- July, 1875: A master wagon maker ; Eleven bull teams on the road ; A meeting at the Natural Bridge ; Surveyor Hammond recovers stolen horse ; History of Bridgers ferry ; Mrs. W.G. Bullock, descendant of George Washington ; Lallee goes visiting ; Gen. [General] Crook passes north -- August, 1875: Telegraph to Fetterman down ; Indians steal Malcomb [Malcolm] Campbells horses, kill old man ; Haying on Box Elder and the Chug ; Whitehead prospecting party see Indians, come to Huntons ranch ; Exodus of officers from Fort Fetterman ; Making adobe brick ; Tom Hunton survives serious illness ; Indian Commission at Ft. Laramie -- September, 1875: Three steers for $100 ; Six weeks provisions for hay crew ; Jules Ecoffey robbed in Cheyenne ; Election at 3-Mile Ranch, Lallee votes too ; Lallee ill on LaPrele, Dr. Gibson attends her ; Indians ugly at Agency Council, kill man on Laramie, attack hay train at Bridgers Ferry, cavalry set out -- October, 1875 : Lallee recovers, return to Bordeaux ; Bullock and Phillips bondsmen for Hunton ; Bull calves, $38; steers, 3 pound ; A boil where it hurts, especially on horseback ; Swan buy cattle on LaBonte ; Freight business hits slump, bull trains go after poles ; Cheyenne and Arapahoe Indians visit Ft. [Fort] Fetterman ; Butchering and making sausage ; Powell, Smith, and Lord haul military baggage ; Two pioneers in their later years [Malcolm Campbell, Earnest Logan] -- November, 1875: a bargain to hold hay bottom ; Log floor for Malcomb Campbells house ; 26 work cattle lost, train rumbles on with remaining 64 ; Women and trouble at Fishers, Cully lands in guard house, Roe in hospital ; Bargains at quarter masters sale ; Jim Sanders brings gold out of Black Hills worth $19.45 an ounce ; New iron bridge across Platte at Fort Laramie nears completion ; A telegram about Mary -- December, 1875: The story of Little Bat ; An elk hunt in 1875 -- Distance tables.;v. 1. 1873-75 -- v. 2. 1876-77 -- v. 3. 1878-79 -- v. 4. 1880-82 -- v. 5. 1883-84.;V. 2. Part two, 1877 : January : General Crook, back from the wars, passes to Cheyenne ; Borrows hay press from Senator Kendricks future father-in-law ; Frank Gruard [Grouard], The Sandwich islander who passed for a Sioux ; Horse herd on Spear Fish stolen by Indians ; Deputy Marshal Fisher after horse thief ; Heavy travel and troop movements through Bordeaux, Cross roads of the west ; A stabbing affray at John Owens ranch ; Many Chinamen traveling to the Black Hills ; Seventeen passengerss on coach, including Deputy Fisher and prisoner McGinnis ; Luke Voorhees, Pioneer Stage operator, whose Treasure Coach carried fortunes in gold ; Circulating petition for Post Office at Bordeaux ; Frank Ecoffey on Cheyenne coach with two prisoners ; Indians steal Portugee Phillips and Hi Kellys horses, kill trapper on Cottonwood ; Charly Clay wintering his work cattle on running water ; Nagle & Swan offer $200 reward for stage robbers, dead or alive ; Last Indian depredations in the Laramie region ; Hay price at Fr. Fetterman $60 ton ; Daily coach planned to the Hills, more stable room needed at Bordeaux -- February : Builds house on Tom Huntons homestead ; Bailing hay on the Nick Janis ranch ; General Miles wins victoory on the Yellowstone ; small pox at fort Laramie, one man dies ; Alvah W. Ayers finds Charly Clays work cattle ; John LaMotte gets $40 a month job ; Another prophetic dream, jealous women fighting over him ; Domestic crisis, goes buggy riding with E, Lallee leaves him ; Hay bales weighed 200 pounds, eight-wagon bull train hauls 34 tons to Ft. Fetterman ; Indian scare at Fagans ranch ; Hay for Luke Voorhees stage line at $32 ton ; Thirteen dollar hay brings $60 baled and delivered at Ft. Fetterman ; Britisher badgered at hay camp ; Train attacked on Black Hills Road, one killed, Ft. Laramie troops to rescue ; Horse stealing along the Laramie and Platte, other indian depredations ; Confides his trouble with Lallee to her brother, Little Bat ; Tells Squaw to go, suffers pangs of regret, would rather have seen her die ; W.G. Bullock disapproved for post trader appointment, his squaw record hurt him ; Velvet har, Brass heeled shoes and Merino hose for some lady -- March : Transportation magnates of pre-railroad days ; William Pye steals Jims money and flees, the boys bring him back ; Eternal triangle, hears Lallee has been toying with Joe Morris ; Squaw camp on the Laramie ; Sends Lallee to reservation, but she does not stay there ; Building new stage station at Bordeaux ; F.M. Phillips throws his squaw away but keeps the children ; Anguish for nothers when red and white mates parted ; Buying cattle for Indian beef ; Eula Wulfjen [Mrs. John B. Kendrick] traveled the Texas trail in 73 at age of fifteen months ; Eighteen below zero in March ; Heavy stage coach travel through Bordeaux to Black Hills ; Indians surrendering horses and guns at Red Cloud Agency ; General Crook relaxes at Ft. Laramie ; Lallee had a sewing machine ; Road agents did not molest the lady ; Making shoes for work cattle ; The remarkable Johnny Owens, Twenty notches on his gun ; Tom Hunton first Postmaster at Bordeaux ; McQuade kills the Jacksons -- April : Lure of Black Hills gold spreads over the nation ; Johnny Slaughter, stage driver, killed by road agents ; Col. Carpenter conducted tours for miners ; Hunton brothers qualify to handle mail ; John Boyd builds Homestead House ; Indians stealing horses on Bear Creek ; D.H. Russell buys a $60 bull ; An irrigation system at Bordeaux ; Capt. Van Vliets stallion brings $150 ; Small pox victims left at Chugwatter by Army train ; Cold, wet journey from Bordeaux to Ft. Fetterman ; Capt. Pollock survived the Frontier Wars to die in fall down stairs -- May : Crazy Horse surrenders his warriors but not his spirit, sought death and found it ; John R. Smith turn the table, shoots bandit who came to rob him ; Beef bids for Forts Fetterman and Reno ; Andy Sullivans bones found by roundup party, he was Governor Sinmpsons great uncle ; Ton Hunton sick, treated by doctor passing to the Hills ; Bordeaux Irrigation system completed ; James Monroe helped build Cow Hide Dam across the Chug ; Chinamen bring lauandry service to Black Hills miners ; Roundup crew dissatisfied, maybe the cook was on a toot ; Posey Wilson sues, attaches hay money ; Billy Bacon and Jack Sanders [Saunders] rubbed each other out ; Little Bat finds Bob horse in Indian hands ; Lallee, Old Squaw and Little Bat visit Hi Kelly ; Political plum, Sutlers and post traders had monopoly at frontier posts ; Horse thieves go too far, steal Judge Hauphoffs stock ; Lallee again sent agency, again she does not stay ; Andy Carr recovers some of his horses from Indians ; John Owens buys $30 bull calf ; Thirty dollars a month job for Newcomb.

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GAME OF BUTTS

The Pounds Of Winter

By Chuck Tingle

I cant believe that after all this time, the fighting and bloodshed could finally be over for good. It sounds like a wild fever dream with no bearing in reality, and maybe its better that I keep it there for now, but its hard not to be excited by the prospect. The turmoil in these lands has taken from everyone; families destroyed and kingdoms extinguished, never to rise again. Even my own father has fallen to the endless fighting.

By now, there are only two kingdoms left that matter, the Storks and the Terrygrins, and thankfully we have found peace between us. It was not easy, and for a moment I truly thought that the battles and bloodshed would start all over again, but there is nothing that joins two forces more profoundly than a common enemy, and a common enemy is what we now have.

When I was younger, I always assumed that the ice butts were a thing of legend, frozen rumps from beyond the north wall who exist somewhere between the land of the living and the dead. It seemed like such a ridiculous thing to believe in, the very concept of such strange supernatural forces making most men scoff in dismissal, until they see them with their own eyes.

Ive gazed upon the ice butts myself, saw a toned rump floating through the northern woods at night on scouting patrol, and Im lucky enough to have lived to tell the tale.

Fortunately, my armies have been able to do some scouting in return, and weve learned that the ice butts are preparing an attack early tomorrow morning. We will be ready, and with the Stork and Terrygrin forces combined, we just might have a chance of survival.

Captain Bon Snope, comes a voice from outside my tent. Dani Terrygrin is here to see you.

Its late in the evening now and I need my rest, but I know better than to deny a last minute strategic talk with my most important ally.

Coming, I call out, rising from my sleeping cot and putting on my warmest fur coat. Theres a great chill in the air, as is typical on the night before a battle as deadly as this is sure to be.

I walk over to the tent flap and open it up, dismissing the guard as I step out to greet Dani.

My companion smiles and nods, her long blond hair flowing in the chilly night air. A word? she asks.

You have my full attention, I assure Dani.

The two of us begin to scroll with one another through the camp, soldiers still preparing all around us as massive bonfires blaze for warmth and light. There are men and women sharpening swords and preparing their crossbows, ready to fight to the death in the name of the kingdom.

Ive been thinking a lot about tomorrow, Dani tells me. I have nothing but belief in our soldiers, but Im afraid the Butt King must be confronted head on if we would like to see another day. He is the power behind these forces, the one who is animating these haunting, icy butts.

I take a deep breath, considering my companions words. Im afraid she might be right, and Ive had the idea of confronting the Butt King myself, but it all just seemed too difficult to even consider. It would be great to just sneak up north across enemy lines on my own and slay the Butt King, but there are thousands of ice butts blocking my path.

I believe in this strategy, I explain. I think that its a good one, I would love to stop this dark magic at its source, but I dont know how. If there was a way to get me up there then I would gladly go with my own sword and shield; but as it is now, my presence is needed here.

There might be a way, Dani offers. I only through of it this evening, but I think it might work.

My eyebrows rise. What is it?

We dont know much about the Butt King, other than the fact he is a magically inclined T-Rex and handsome as hell, she explains. He would be impossible to find if it werent for one thing Dragons are just T-Rexs with wings.
Suddenly, it hits me. How could we have not seen this sooner?

Dani is an incredible natural leader to her people, but this innate sense of management is not the only thing that she retains strict control over; she also controls a dragon. In battle, this will obviously give us a powerful advantage over our sentient butt foes as they float across the battlefield with swords raised, but now a more subtle and roguish plan has been made abundantly clear.

Because my dragon and this Tyrannosaurus Butt King are so similar, I believe shell be able to track the Butt Kings scent and bring you directly to him, Dani explains. It will have to be fast, however, as the dragon will need to be back before the start of battle. If were going to make an attempt, then it must happen right now.

I dont hesitate for a second. Im ready, I say. I just need to grab my armor and my sword.

Dani smiles and then puts two fingers into her mouth, whistling loudly. Immediately, a massive dark shape bursts up out of the forest, flapping its wings loudly as the powerful gusts of air move across us. The reptilian creature floats over and then lands softly as Dani lovingly rubs the dragons head.

Time is running short, Dani reminds me.

I nod and head back towards my tent, throwing open the flap and gathering my things. Its not long before Im ready to go, now clad in my full plate armor and brandishing a massive two-handed broadsword.

When I approach Dani and the dragon again, the creature lowers its head towards me.

Shell find the Butt King, Dani insists, but its up to you to slay him.

I nod in understanding. The Butt King is a powerful foe, and while it would be wonderful to go up against him with a ferocious dragon by my side, we cannot risk this powerful creature not making his return to the battlefield by morning.

This mission is on me, and me alone.

I swing my leg over the dragons lowered head and barely have a chance to arrange myself before the massive beast is taking off into the air, erupting away from the ground with a power unlike anything Ive ever felt. As I wrap my arms tightly around the dragons neck, I can see his nostrils flair, picking up some kind of provocative scent from far, far away.

Soon enough, we are soaring over the forests and hills below, the distant peaks of the northern mountains looming large in the distance. The night is dark, so despite our enormous size we remain hidden from the ice butts below, troops gathering for tomorrow mornings ferocious battle.

My heart is pounding hard within my chest, now reconsidering whether or not this was a good idea. Once this dragon drops me off and heads back home there is no escape. I will either defeat the Butt King, or I will never return and the war will rage on without me.

Strangely, this thought actually provides me with a minor sense of relief. While Im not thrilled about the prospect of death, at least this endless fighting will finally be over in one way or another.

Eventually, we reach the side of the icy mountains, finding a jagged cliff side where the dragon perches and lowers her neck.

Looks like this is the place.

I climb down off of the massive beast and jump to the ground, which is now covered with a good half inch of white snow. My breath visibly puffs in the air before me.

Thank you, I say, turning around to face the dragon. If the Butt King is here, then I will find him.
Before I can even finish my sentence, however, the massive reptile erupts from the ground once more, swooping down along the cliff and then pulling up at the last second. The creature flaps its broad wings as it disappears into the night.

Now I am all alone.

I draw my sword, holding it out before me as I make my away along the cliff. This area is covered in massive boulders and shattered, rocky crags, a maze that I slowly wind my way through. I have no idea if the Butt King truly is nearby, but theres no question that the air here carries a powerful sense of foreboding and darkness.

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