Table of Contents
Becoming Orgasmic
JULIA R. HEIMAN AND JOSEPH LOPICCOLO
Hachette Digital
www.littlebrown.co.uk
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Many people have contributed to this book. Carl Thoreson, editor of a self-management series of books, and Lynne Lumsden, our first editor, were both very helpful. Coauthor Leslie LoPiccolo and illustrator Leonard Preston were central to the development and warmth of the first edition. PJ Dempsey, our current editor, and David Palladini, our new illustrator, were valuable contributors to the new perspective created in this revised edition. Jan Woodford provided critical and polished typed drafts. The illustrations showing the male and female sexual response cycles are adapted from Human Sexual Response, by William H. Masters, M.D., and Virginia E. Johnson, 1966, with the permission of Little, Brown and Company, Boston.
Finally, we would like to thank the many women with whom we have worked using this program. While the program has benefited them, they have also taught us a great deal.
INTRODUCTION
If the tone of this book is confident, it is because the program it describes has demonstrated its effectiveness with many different women over the past seventeen years. Many of the procedures described in this book were first developed by Joseph LoPiccolo at the University of Oregon in 1969. Of course, no therapy procedure is ever generated out of thin air. Several other therapists had previously done work that contributed much to this program. In particular, therapy procedures developed by such early behavioral and cognitive therapists as Arnold Lazarus, Joseph Wolpe, and Albert Ellis formed a general theoretical background for this program. The knowledge of human sexuality contributed by such sex researchers as Alfred Kinsey, Donald Hastings, William Masters, and Virginia Johnson was also a crucial element in creating this program.
In the years since 1969, we have developed and refined this program in a number of settings and with a number of students and colleagues. At the University of Oregon, W. Charles Lobitz, then a graduate student and now a respected colleague, greatly aided the development of the program. In 1974, Joseph LoPiccolo moved to the Department of Psychiatry at the State University of New York, Stony Brook. At Stony Brook, Julia R. Heiman, who was already engaged in research on female sexuality, joined the program and added her unique skills and abilities. The chairman of the psychiatry department, Dr. Stanley F. Yolles, was very supportive of our development of a sex therapy center in the department and encouraged our work in the area in a number of ways. As all things must end, we both eventually moved onJulia Heiman to the University of Washington in Seattle and Joseph LoPiccolo to become chairman of the department of psychology at the University of Missouri. Over the years, then, we have had the opportunity to work with hundreds of women in different parts of the country, using this program.
By 1975 it was clear that the program worked. Individual or couple sex therapy, however, was reaching only a small percentage of the women who could potentially benefit from a program such as ours. It became apparent that an easily understood self-help version of this program would be useful for those women who could benefit from such help without the need for formal therapy. Sharing personal reactions gained from women who had participated in the therapy program over the past several years seemed to be of particular importance. Ideas began to take form, and the result was the first edition of this book, written by Julia R. Heiman, Leslie LoPiccolo, and Joseph LoPiccolo in 1976. Around the same time, we also created a film (also titled Becoming Orgasmic) showing a couple progressing through the program. At Stony Brook, Patricia J. Morokoff, a graduate student in psychology, collaborated with us on a research project on the self-help use of this program. In this study, one group of women basically treated themselves, using this book. Another group of women used the book but also received fifteen weekly psychotherapy sessions with one of our staff. To our surprise (and delight), the self-treatment group was just as successful in reaching orgasm as the psychotherapy group. In both groups about 90 percent of the women were able to learn to have orgasm in masturbation. Around 80 percent of the women learned to have orgasm with their male partners, and about 35 percent of the women learned to have orgasm during intercourse. In addition, over 95 percent became more satisfied overall with their sexual relationships. These figures are quite impressive compared to other treatment studies, and to studies of the sexuality of healthy, well-adjusted women. Put most simply, the program described in this book works.
In the years since the original edition of this book was published, we have learned much more about female sexuality and its problems. Some of this knowledge has come through academic research, both our own and that done by others. Additional knowledge has come from our experience in working with women. This new edition incorporates our new knowledge and also extends the focus of this book. Some of the major changes we have made in this edition include:
A broader focus than just reaching orgasm
A new section on problems of lack of sexual desire and suggestions for dealing with this problem
New sections on aging, menopause, pregnancy, contraception, hormones, and other physical issues in female sexuality
A new section on the aftermath of rape or incest and suggestions for overcoming any traumatic effects suffered as a result
Three new techniques for reaching orgasm during intercourse
A review of new ideas about female sexuality, such as the G-spot controversy
More focus on relationships and emotional conflict and how these issues influence sexuality
Chapter One
GETTING INVOLVED
Where are you at this particular time in your life? You may be single, married, separated, divorced, or widowed. You may have several children or none at all. You may or may not be involved in a sexual relationship with someone. You may be under thirty, over sixty, or somewhere in between. There may be many difficulties in your life right now, or things may be pretty satisfying.
All of us, wherever we are in our lives, have emotional needs for closeness, intimacy, affection, and sexual gratification. While for most of us our emotional needs are more important than sexual gratification, even the strongest of emotional relationships can be disrupted by sexual problems. For many women, inability to become fully aroused and inability to experience orgasm are major sources of personal frustration and relationship distress. This book is designed to help you address these problems.
As you begin to look through this book you will probably have mixed feelings. Perhaps you are wondering if this book really is for you. You may be worried about whether or not you will get everything you want from it. On the other hand, you may feel unsure about exactly what you do want for yourself sexually or whether you are putting too much emphasis on sex as a problem. You may feel enthusiasticor very hesitantabout beginning. Perhaps you are tempted to find a magic formula for changing. One thing we are fairly certain of is that you probably feel you want something different for yourself. You want to grow and explore your potentials, and you see the enhancement of your sexuality as part of this exploration.
