Meg Mathews - The New Hot: Cruising Through Menopause with Attitude and Style

THANK YOU TO:

Everyone who keeps me sober.

Janice Vee, for sharing my menopause journey in the first years of not knowing.

Sarah Bailey, for making me career-shifter of the year at Red magazine and giving me a column on menopause.

Jennifer Kennedy and Helen Foster, for coming to my rescue and helping deliver this book.

Dr. Sara Matthews.

Dr. Louise Newson.

Dr. Shahzadi Harper.

NHS Chelsea and Westminster Menopause Clinic.

Everyone at the NHS Adelaide Health Surgery.

And last but not leastthe invention of streaming services/Netflix/Apple TV/Now TV!!

afterword

thanks,
menopause, I
owe you one

Despite what you might think after reading what I went through, Id like to end the book by saying thanks to my menopause. I owe it a lot.

When my symptoms were at their worst, I remember one question circling my mind over and over again: How long is this going to last? But now, I appreciate what happened. Its given me the chance to find myself, who I was supposed to be. If Id sailed through menopause, would that have happened? I dont know. Now, though, I have a purpose, and thats to help other women. Ive gone from ripping up the London social scene to working hard on MegsMenopause, and now Im on a mission to make sure that other women know what to expect during menopause and that they have a community to lean on during the tough parts. And I love itI feel that I have finally become the person I was always meant to be.

Every day, I wake up and go straight onto Instagram and answer questions, put out a post, have a chat with the women on there, and I just feel fulfilled. They might be really simple questions, but knowing that Im helping someone feel supported and that they are not on their own is such a great thing. My whole story now comes because of what happened to me, and I wouldnt have understood that if Id just read about menopause. I had to go through it and feel dreadful and hate every second of it, so thanks, menopause, you really did change my life. You empowered me, you gave me confidence, you helped me cut through the bullshit, and after years of living for other people, I am now living for me. And it feels bloody fantastic. So, its time to sign off, and I want to do it with a final word from Mary Portas, retail expert, broadcaster, founder of Work Like a Woman, and a woman I really admire in many areas of lifeincluding how she sees menopause. I hope this and the rest of the book give you a new understanding of and feeling of control for whats happening now, and a new hope for what happens next. Trust me, menosit rocks on this side of the fence.

A final word

BY MARY PORTAS

As midlife women, we have something in common with one of the most powerful and majestic creatures of the seathe killer whale. It is the only other species whose females go through menopause. But, unlike many other species (including humans), a menopausal killer whale is not then deemed invisible and of limited use. She takes on a leadership role, using her experience to locate salmon to feed the pod, and younger orcas stay by her side, recognizing her as the wise elder from whom they can learn so much.

Like the killer whale, I challenge societys negative narrative around getting older. Life excites me, and there is so much still to discover. Women in their fifties, sixties, seventies, and beyond are breaking out of comfort zones to move into uncharted waters, finding it sometimes scary, but always exhilarating. They are moving into new careers, traveling to new countries, starting up new businesses, beginning new relationships, and exploring their creativity in new ventures. Listening carefully to their feelings and paying attention to what makes them feel energized, connected, and stimulated, they are then giving those things the oxygen they need to thrive.

Looking back, I think I truly got into my stride around the age of 46, when I was perimenopausal. I stopped editing myself to suit others expectations and started presenting myself filter-free. What I wear and what I do reflects mecolorful, confident, and slightly flamboyant. Like so many others, I wasted time complying with other peoples ideas of who I should be. I am not integrating into societys norms; I am planting my own garden and watching it bloom. Not everyone likes it, but I no longer afford them the power to influence how I live. The joy of being completely true to yourself is like feeling the warm glow you get from a couple of glasses of good wine. Its like hearing the radio station you love clear as a bell after spending time trying to tune it in and hearing only buzzing and hissing.

Transformation has always thrilled meof stores, main streets, home interiors, and fashion trends. People also fascinate me, so watching them transform themselves is particularly intriguing for me. As we get older, I see so many women change from the person they thought they had to be and become who they were always meant to be. Its like a light has been switched on within them. Even if some of the ventures dont work, we can always try again or simply try something new. I am a big fan of JFDIJust F*cking Do It. Remember learning to ride a bike? When you fell off the first time, you probably didnt give up and say oh well, clearly this bike riding isnt for meyou kept on trying until all of a sudden you were hurtling down hills with your hands in the air. And if you really didnt like it or take to ityou got out roller skates or a scooter or tried something different. Recapturing that childlike approach to life and experiencing the thrill of trying the new and unfamiliar leads to surges in energy and true joy in living.

I want this book to give you hope that you are simply moving to a new stage in life. A time for introspection on what makes you totally, truly, and completely happy. A time to leave the crap behind, to eliminate anything that you feel is not connected to your true self, so that you can have the time for what really makes your soul sing. We have spent a fair few decades building life experience, emotional intelligence, and a sense of who we arethis time is when all that investment pays off.

We all have a natural energy and sensitivity as women, which traditionally we may have felt a need to suppress. Things are changing now, and the values that I respect in women (and many men) that are considered feminine are increasing in value in societyboth in and out of the workplace. Kindness, life ambition, and working with instinct are examples of such traits that are increasingly regarded in a positive light. You are never too oldand it is never too lateto start pursuing your most authentic self.

So, be inspired by the killer whale and step up to the life you deserve with self-confidence and the knowledge that you are enough.

Appendix A

MEGS MENO-DICTIONARY

This is a list of words and terms that we use in the book, or that you might come across elsewhere in your menopause journey, or that you might not have heard before. Heres what they mean:

ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Symptoms include impulsivity, short attention span, and hyperactivity.

Adrenals: Small glands located on top of each kidney. They produce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. They also produce weak androgens.

Androgens: Male sex hormones, including testosterone. Even women produce low levels of these.

Andropause: The medical term for male menopause. Commonly linked to a fall in testosterone.

Bioidentical hormones: Manufactured versions of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone that are identical in structure to the hormones made by your own body. Often made from plants like yams and soy.

Body identical hormones: Usually refers to regulated forms of bioidentical hormones. May also be referred to as rBHRTRegulated Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy.