J.S. Park - How Hard It Really Is: A Short, Honest Book About Depression

How Hard

It Really Is

A Short, Honest Book

About Depression

Copyright 2017 by J.S. Park

Publisher: TWE Media

Published July 2017, Edited December 2018

All rights reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or study/presentation material.

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Cover art by Rob Connelly. http://heyitsrob.com

Editor's note: This publication is an informative guide on the subject matter. It is not intended to replace or countermand the advice of your physician. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Park, J.S., author.

How hard it really is: a short, honest book about depression / J.S. Park.First edition.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0692910368

1. Depression, Mental. 2. Cognitive Therapy. 3. Depression, MentalReligious aspectsChristianity 4. Mental health 5. HealingReligious AspectsChristianity

Printed in the United States of America.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Citation Information:

J.S. Park, How Hard It Really Is (Florida: TWE Media, July 2017) p. _

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Table of Contents

"At the moment what I heard was God saying, 'Put down your gun and we'll talk.'"

C.S. Lewis

Disclaimer

I am not a licensed therapist.

This book is about the conversation around depression. It should not replace the advice of your physician.

This book is also about my experiences with depression.

I majored in Psychology for my bachelor's and I have a Master's degree in Divinity (MDiv). I was a pastor for seven years in two different churches, mostly dealing with youth and college students and their families. I've been a hospital chaplain for three years (which requires intense accredited training). My chaplaincy work includes: attending every death, attending every Code Blue, next-of-kin notification, advising patients on end-of-life decisions, and grief and crisis counseling. Many of the patients I've visited are dealing with grief or depression or both.

In January of 2004, I attempted to kill myself by ingesting half a bottle of acetaminophen. I was placed under the Baker Act, an involuntary hold by the state for those who have harmful thoughts towards themselves or others, and after two nights in a hospital, I was sent to a care facility for another two nights. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, and my only experience with antidepressants is that I tried them for two days before quitting (I should've tried longer). I struggle with depression to this day.

My family has a history of depression and suicidal ideation. My late maternal grandmother suffered from dementia (and possibly Parkinson's disease), and my uncle has schizophrenia. They both lived in the house until my parents divorced when I was fourteen.

In the following pages, any technical information regarding depression has been carefully cited. I highly recommend further research on your own, as new studies constantly emerge and can contradict one another. There's also not a single consensus in the medical community about the causes and treatments of depression; the "experts" are still learning how to navigate through it.

Please know: I am a big advocate of medicine and therapy. Please see the appendix for other kinds of treatments.

This book is filled with triggers. While I have tried my best not to be overly gratuitous, the subject matter necessarily entails that I do not shy from its depths.

Whenever I insert my own opinion, I start with the phrase, "I believe," "I think," "I have a theory," or similar self-referential phrases. Please feel free to disagree or to engage in dialogue with me.

There have been many good books on depression, including Andrew Solomon's magnum opus The Noonday Demon and Dr. David Martyn Lloyd-Jones' Spiritual Depression . They cover much more ground than I could, and I recommend them to you.

Any identities and identifying markers in the book are altered for privacy of the individuals.