Robin D. Owens - Protector of the Flight

ROBIN D. OWENS

PROTECTOR OF THEFLIGHT

To My Critique Group,
a better bunch of writers Ive never met.
Dont think youll ever get rid of me,
because I cant do this without you.

Love iseternalthe aspect may change, but not the essence. There is the samedifference in a person before and after he is in love as there is in anunlighted lamp and one that is burning. The lamp was there and was a good lamp,but now it is shedding light too, and that is its real function.

Vincent VanGogh

Contents

ColoradoMountains

Summer, Morning

S ince her fall inthe National Finals Rodeo, pain had been a daily enemy. Calli Torcher hesitatedat the top of the steep stairs from her attic bedroom to the first floor, tooka breath, braced a hand against the wall and gritted her teeth at the prospectof pain. No matter how carefully she set her feet, shed jar herself, then stopand pant through the agony. Or she might fall and end up in the hospital.Again.

Recoveringfrom a broken pelvis took time. The bad dreams that peppered her sleep didnthelp matters. Shed dreamt of people lost in a winter blizzard. Cries for help.Short notes of doom from a clock gong or the ranchs iron triangle or a siren

Sheshook her head to clear her mind and concentrate on navigating the stairs. Ithappened the third stair from the top, just a tiny misstep and she was leaningagainst the wall, trying to shut out waves of agony. When she recovered, shewent on and made it to the ground floor with no other problems.

Asshe rested against the wall at the bottom landing, she wondered if she shouldask her dad if she could use the downstairs storeroom as a bedroom until shefully healed. But things hadnt been right between her and her father formonths, ever since shed fallen and lost the barrel-racing championship, endingher career at twenty-five.

Thatwas the past. She couldand wouldstill train horses, take a more activerole in the ranch now that she wasnt on the road all the time, traveling therodeo circuit.

Hernose twitched at the smell of strong coffee and frying bacon. Dad was up andfixing his own breakfast. Since hed started without her, she decided shed getsome air, clear the images and sounds of the dreamthe string of baddreamsfrom her head and replace them with the beauty of the Rocking Bar TRanch in their mountain valley.

Callilimped to the corral, breathing deeply, feeling the tingle of the breeze on herface, the softness of worn flannel and denim from her shirt and jeans on herskin. The ball of the sun shot yellow streaks of light into the sky.

Shereached the corral fence and leaned against it, breathing fast, still weak fromher last surgery. Still, if she continued to work hard, in another few monthsshed be able to start training horses.

Nowhicker of greeting came from her gelding. Calli whistled. Nothing. He alwaysgreeted her. A twinge of alarm ruptured her calm. Spark! Spark, here! Shecalled as if her horse was a young, heedless colt.

Herdad strode up, a lean tough man with a weathered face and hard lines carvedfrom the rigors of cattle ranching. He leaned on the fence to her right. Thegelding aint here.

Shelooked at him from the corner of her eye. Bristly gray whiskers sprouted fromhis jaw. He could speak well if he wanted, if he respected the person he wastalking to.

Shewet her lips. What do you mean, Spark isnt here?

Hishat shadowed the eyes as blue as her own, but he squinted down at her all thesame. Hard as the distant mountains. Hes a highly trained rodeo horse, wortha lotta money. Couldnt expect me to keep him round when you cant ride himanymore and a profit can be made. Your last doctors appointment made merealize that.

Callipivoted so quickly it wrenched her hip. She ignored the pain in her body, somuch less than the anguish in her heart. She spoke through the shock. Spark ismy horse. I gave you the money for him.

Herdad shrugged. I bought the gelding from the racetrack. The horse wasregistered in my name. Im the owner of Rocking Bar T and everything on it.

Exceptfor Spark. I paid for him, Calli said through clenched teeth.

Hisstance was still casual. Huh. My name is on the papers. And who paid for thathorses keep when it was young? I did.

Moneywasnt the issue. Love was. Giving and receiving love was everything. Shedneeded something to love and return that love in her life. How could you dothis? I love him.

Hefaced her now, as impassive as always, as if nothing touched him, not even ahint of irritation in his eyes. He looked her up and down as if judging aheifer, not as if he saw his daughter. You should know better than that.Stupid to love an animal. Stupid to love at all. Love aint nothin that gets areturn. A profit could be made, and Spark wasnt no use to me. I sold him toBill Morsey.

Usefulnesshad always been Dads bottom line.

Herinsides clenched, the pressure of hard tears backed behind her eyes. Shecouldnt stop the question. What about me? What about myusefulness?

Hegrunted. You can do your chores and stay. Do the cookin and cleanin. But Iwent to the bank. Since the ranch is paid for, I set up a reverse mortgage. Themoneyll last long as I do, then youll have to find another place.

Shockand nausea rolled through her. Id planned on training horses.

Thisis a cattle ranch.

Wecould build up a fine reputation

No.We run cattle.

Shewent to the bottom line. You arent leaving the ranch to me? Ever since shedgone on the circuit, shed always thought of the ranch as her future. Workinghard, shed sent money back for expenses. Shed thought she and her dad werepartners.

Hisgaze fastened on her middle as if he could see her abdominal scars. No reasonto. Aint as if you can gimme a grandson, even. Without another word hesauntered back to the house, leaving Callis world broken.

Anoise tore from her, some animalistic cry of pain. Blindly she gripped the topfence rail, splinters lanced her hand.

Allher life shed shut out the knowledge of what her father was. Instead, shedwoven illusions that he cared about her. False, lying illusions that had beenso comforting and that shed held so long that she couldnt see reality.

Hermother had abandoned them, then died. If her father had loved Calli before,hed shut off his emotions afterward. As long as she proved useful, she wastolerated.

Hemight have enjoyed the reflected glory of her rodeo wins and liked the bigbucks of the prizes. Hed taken care of her in the hospital and later when shewas healing. But now that it was obvious she wouldnt return to the rodeo shewas nothing more than a woman to cook and clean.

Sheglanced around but refused to see past the surface beauty of the day. Thisplace wasnt her home anymore. She couldnt afford the wrenching sense of loss.

Bloodpounded in her ears and with it came the sounds of chimes and singing.Tinnitus, ringing in the ears, the doctors had said, and that it should go awaysoon. The illusory sounds might pass, but the very real loss of the ranch wouldalways shadow her. More bad dreams.

Herwhite-knuckled hand on the wooden rail hurt from splinters, rough woodimpressed hard on her palm, the ache of her stretched tendons. She let go.

Shehad to escape, allow emotions to surge through herher grief for the loss ofSpark, the destruction of her dreams. Shed plan later. This heartache shedbrought on herself for not letting herself see what the man who fathered herwashard and bitter, guarding his heart from everyone, including her.