Wanda E. Brunstetter - A Cousins Prayer

DEDICATION/ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

To Mary Alice and Doretta Yoder, two special Amish friends who have patiently answered my many questions.

In appreciation of the Oaklawn therapists who offer spiritual and emotional help to many patients.

With special thanks to Lovina Petersheim for sharing her recipe for Banana Nut Cake.

PROLOGUE

Katie Millers stomach churned as she read the letter shed just received from her cousin Loraine:

Katies heart pounded. There was no way she could go to her cousins wedding, much less be one of her attendants.

Whos the letter from? Katies grandmother asked, taking a seat on the porch swing beside Katie.

Loraine. Shes getting married in April, and she wants me to be one of her attendants. Katie almost choked on the words.

Thats wunderbaar. Im sure youre looking forward to going. Katie shook her head. I dont want to go.

Think how disappointed Loraine would be if you werent at her wedding.

Katies gaze dropped to the floor. I cant go back to Indiana, Grammy.

Loraine and Wayne have been through so much. Dont you want to be there to share in their joy?

Katie shivered despite the warm Florida breeze. If Timothy hadnt been killed on their way to Hershey Park last fall, shed be planning her own wedding right now.

Katie, did you hear what I said?

Katie nodded, hoping she wouldnt give in to the tears pushing against her eyelids. If I hadnt freaked out about a bee in the van, Timothy, Paul, and Raymond would still be alive. Katie drew in a shaky breath. Jolene wouldnt have lost her hearing, either, and Wayne would still have both of his legs.

Youre not to blame, Katie. It was an accident. It might have happened even if you hadnt been afraid of the bee. Grammy touched Katies arm. You need to accept it and go on with your life.

II dont know if I can.

Timothy wouldnt want you to continue grieving for him. He wouldnt want you to blame yourself for the accident.

Youve said that before.

Then you ought to listen. Grammy took hold of Katies hand. Lets go inside so you can write Loraine and let her know youll be at the wedding.

IIm afraid to go. The thought of traveling alone scares me. I dont think I can deal with all the painful memories that are there.

Will you go to Loraines wedding if I go with you?

What about Grandpa? Would he go, too?

Grammy shook her head. He has things to do here.

Katie couldnt imagine what things Grandpa would have to do. He was retired and spent a good deal of his time at the beach.

What about it, Katie? Grammy asked. Will you go to the wedding if I go along?

Katie sat for several seconds, thinking things through. Finally, she gave a slow nod. It would be easier going back to Indiana with Grammy along, and as soon as the wedding was over, theyd come back here.

CHAPTER 1

It sure is good to have you home, Katies father said as they headed down the road in his buggy toward Uncle Amos and Aunt Priscillas house. He glanced over at Katie and smiled. Your mamm said Loraine was real pleased when she got your letter saying youd be one of her attendants.

Katie clutched the folds in her dress as she stared out the window. She didnt know why she felt so edgy. She hadnt felt like this when she was in Florida. Shed been depressed after Timothy died, but not quivery inside the way shed been since shed climbed into Dads buggy. She was grateful they didnt have far to go.

Dad motioned to what was left of the barn they were passing. Take a look at the devastation from the tornado that hit this past winter. That terrible storm affected nearly everyone around these parts in some way or another.

No one was killed, though, right?

No, but some were injured, and the damage was great. Many, like Waynes folks, lost their homes, barns, and shops. Its a good thing the house Wayne started building before he lost his leg didnt sustain any damage from the tornado, Dad said. Several of the men in our community finished it for him, and Waynes folks have been livin in it ever since.

Will they continue living there after Loraine and Wayne get married? Katie asked.

Dad nodded. At least until their own house is done.

Katie knew from some of the things Loraine had said in her letters that she and Ada hadnt always gotten along so well. She wondered how things would be with them both living under the same roof.

Look at the Chupps place. Dad pointed to the left. They lost their barn, his buggy shop, and the house. Only those whove actually seen the destruction of a tornado like we had here can even imagine such a sight.

Katie gripped the edge of the seat. I dont understand why God allows such horrible things to happen.

He shrugged his broad shoulders. Its not our place to question God. His ways are not our ways.

Katie clamped her teeth together in an effort to keep from saying what was on her mind. Dad wouldnt understand if she told him how angry she was with God for taking Timothy. Hed probably give her a lecture and say it was Timothys time to die, as hed said to her on the day of Timothys funeral.

Do you know how long youll be helping at Loraines? Dad asked.

Probably most of the day, since Im sure theres a lot to be done before the wedding. You can come by sometime before supper and pick me up, or I can ask someone to give me a ride home.

I dont mind coming back for you. Ill be here around four, okay?

Thats fine, but if we get done sooner, Ill just ask for a ride home.

Sounds good. Dad guided the horse up Uncle Amoss driveway and directed him toward the barn. When they stopped at the hitching rail, Dad turned to Katie and said, Have a good day, and dont work too hard. Youre lookin kind of peaked today.

Ill be fine, Dad. Katie climbed out of the buggy and headed to the house. She wasnt fine at all. It seemed strange being back here again. Shed only been gone from home a little over six months, but it seemed a lot longer.

She noticed several people in the yard pulling weeds and planting flowers but didnt see any sign of Loraine or her folks. She figured they must be in the house.

When she stepped onto the back porch, she drew in a shaky breath. She wished Grammy or Mom would have come with her today instead of going shopping in Shipshewana. Katie figured since Mom and Grammy hadnt seen each other for several months, they probably wanted to spend some time alone.

Just as Katie lifted her hand to knock on the back door, it swung open. Loraine stepped onto the porch and gave Katie a hug. Its so good to have you home! Danki for coming. It means a lot for me to have you and Ella as my attendants.

Danki for asking me. Katie forced a smile. In some ways, it was good to be here, but she felt as out of place as a chicken in a duck pond.

I just wish Jolene could be here, too.

Shes not coming?

Huh-uh. Her aunts been dealing with carpal tunnel on both of her wrists, and she recently had surgery to correct the problem. Jolene thought itd be best if she stayed in Pennsylvania to help out.

That makes sense. But do you think Jolene will ever come back to Indiana? Katie asked.

I hope so. Loraine opened the door and motioned Katie inside. Ella and her sister Charlene are in the kitchen. We decided to have a snack before we head out to the barn to help decorate the tables for the wedding meal.

When Katie entered the kitchen behind Loraine, she saw Ella and Charlene sitting at the table.