Table of Contents
This book is dedicated to Maria, Brianna, Andrea and Max.
You are my heroes.
Authors Note
This book is based on extensive interviews as well as the personal experiences and insights of the author and the subjects who complied with appearing in its pages. Some names have been changed in order to protect privacy except for those of contributing experts.
Acknowledgments
I want to acknowledge all the people who opened doors, mentored and advised me, listened and nurtured my soul along the waytoo many to list here. Some of these special guides include: Len Barcousky for guiding me as a reporter at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette; Roger Friday for teaching me the art of sales; the Board of Directors of Three Rivers Advertising Specialty Association for empowering my innovation to create a new strategy; Jack Connors for teaching me the art of networking and fundraising; Bill Provenzano at Ohio Valley General Hospital for allowing me the leverage to grow in my first role as a full-time fundraiser; the Board of Directors of Forbes Health Foundation for supporting my lead like family; the Pittsburgh Society of Association Executives for underscoring leadership; Diane Frndak for suggesting that I write this book; my parents from whom I learned character and integrity at a very young age and my countless friends, who have been a source of inspiration and support every step of the way.
Foreword
My story is living testament that anyone can turn his or her life around. At thirty-five years old, I was a stay-at-home mother with four children under seven years old and a self-employed husband. I had a two-year allied health degree at which I had been earning an average salary when I left the workforce to be a full-time mother. My marriage had become intolerable and I filed for divorce. A few months later, I was deluged by an overwhelming avalanche of litigation and anger that resulted in the children and me going from residing in the most exclusive suburb of Pittsburgh to being homeless, carless and hungry. We went from the country club life to losing our home and becoming poverty stricken all within a short span of time.
What I have come to realize over the years following this time of despair is that people can only take away your things but they cant take away your spirit, which is something you control. If you choose to allow others to take away your peace, your sense of humor, your ability to love and nurture and your integrity, then you have begun to value what the evil hold dear: power, money and material goods. Nobody said that the one holding the most stuff gets the most peace. Have you ever noticed that sometimes those who value stuff tend to be manipulative? Could it be because all of the trappings do not settle a soul?
The desire to acquire stuff can never be satisfied. There will always be more stuff to acquire. It is human nature to cling to and protect the things that you feel are yours. However, the true essence of who you are is not defined by the things around you. It is defined by the people around youthe people you value and the people who value you. It is realized by the emotion in your heart.
In times of great personal challenge, you realize very quickly what is truly important in life. You must draw on your strengths, convert your weaknesses and give thanks for the blessings around you. My children and I are grateful that we live in a country which has afforded us the ability to have survived on welfare, food stamps and medical assistance. We are grateful for the lessons we learned through this challenge that delivered us from relying on public assistance to self-sufficiency and then abundance. We are grateful for the people who guided us and mentored us along the way. It has contributed to who we are today. This book is my chance to give back, in some small way, advice, strategies and steps to recovery that have helped me and may help others who are engaged in a life transition or those who are simply seeking strategies for success.
Very early in our familys struggles, I realized that I was going to be the one to provide for my children and had to figure out a way to do so quickly. Choosing to be a full-time mother, I hadnt worked outside the home in seven years. I was faced with crisis management. However, while at home, I had done a lot of writing for organizations in which I had volunteered and decided to send clips of that writing to the largest local metropolitan newspaper in our city. Much to my surprise, they hired me as a freelance reporter and I began to write for a number of other magazines, news and professional publications. From there, I earned a certification as an association management executive and went on to be a self-employed public relations consultant, business writer and trade association executive director, all work I did from home. People ask me where I got my confidence to apply for positions in which I had little to no experience. I tell them it was because I never doubted that I could learn just about anything and I was willing to do whatever it took to meet the needs of my children.
Public assistance was not the way I wanted to live my life. I did the big cry and a lot of asking, Why me? but that got me nothing but more paralyzed with fear.
I needed adequate health benefits for the children and myself after the divorce, so I decided to enter the corporate world. I taught myself how to network, write grant proposals and desktop publish, among other skills, and then went on to be the executive director of a hospital foundation. Today I am the president and CEO of a large hospital foundation, I have owned my own home for several years and my three oldest children are in excellent collegessomething I never thought I would be able to affordand my son is achieving well in high school as he gets ready for college.
I teach classes at a local college and volunteer at community organizations to help others make life transitions that will bring them greater personal and financial reward. In this book, I focus on the foundation I live by in achieving what I set out to do and what I convey to my students and those whom I mentor.
You will also read testimonials from other individuals who have overcome great challenges to achieve personal and professional success. Some are employed in the corporate world and some are self-employed. They range in education from high school graduates to those with their Ph.D. The measures of their financial success vary and are not related to their education. All have conquered great trials to achieve autonomy in their work and personal peace in their lives. I was astounded at how similar their mind-sets are to one another and to mine. As you read their stories, you will find two common themes:
1. They are fearless, not reckless.
2. They figure things out or ask for help.
If I can come back from overwhelming adversity, anyone can. I know you can, too. I will show you how to harness your own resources. You already have everything you need. Additionally, the chapter exercises and worksheets at the end of each chapter will give you a concrete Personal Development Plan to chart your new course.
Introduction
Okay, so you want to make some changes in your life, but those changes scare you a little, invigorate you a lot and the ambivalence sometimes paralyzes you. You just dont know if you can make it work but you know you have the energy to make a difference. What you dont realize is that you have already been through this before and succeeded. This book will show you how to put those strategies to work again. Make notes in the margins, because when you finish reading it and doing the exercises, you will have a definitive map to move forward. This book is direct and to the point so that you dont spend a lot of time reading and can get on to making things happen for yourself.