Regena Thomashauer - Mama Genas Marriage Manual: Stop Being a Good Wife, Start Being a Sister Goddess

Praise for Mama Gena

Diva of desire Regena Thomashauer teaches women how to celebrate their passions, indulge their appetites, and adore their lives.

Chicago Tribune

She looks like Ava Gardner, thinks like Marie Curie, and makes Dorothy Parker seem tongue-tied. And needless to say, she has fabulous sex. How can you argue with that?

The New York Times

At Mama Genas School of Womanly Arts, you check your shame and self-denial at the door, and learn to claim what you have always desired.

Elle

Mama Gena advocates a life where ecstasy, fun, and happiness are the rule, not the exception.Her combination of composure and charisma makes her the most alluring woman Ive ever met.

Sunday Express (London)

Pleasure is absolutely of the essence.Regena Thomashauer [is] a testament to the principles of taking control of men and pussifying the world.

The Independent (London)

ALSO BY REGENA THOMASHAUER

Mama Genas School of Womanly Arts

Mama Genas Owners and Operators Guide to Men

SIMON & SCHUSTER PAPERBACKS
Rockefeller Center
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New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2004 by Regena Thomashauer
All rights reserved,
including the right of reproduction
in whole or in part in any form.

First Simon & Schuster paperback edition 2005

SIMON & SCHUSTER PAPERBACKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Comment from Dorothy Parker: Complete Poems by Dorothy Parker. Copyright by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Used by permission of
Penguin, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Permission to reprint Something Wonderful by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II Copyright 1951 by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II. Copyright renewed. Williamson Music owner of publication and allied rights throughout the world. International copyright secured.
All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-800-456-6798 or business@simonandschuster.com.

Designed by Helene Berinsky

Manufactured in the United States of America

2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1

The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:
Thomashauer, Regena.

Mama Genas marriage manual / Regena Thomashauer.
p. cm.
1. Marriage. I. Title.

HQ734.T446 2004
646.7'8dc22 2004045432

ISBN 0-7432-6109-7
0-7432-6110-0 (pbk)
eISBN-113: 978-0-7432-6911-7

This book is dedicated to all romantic fools
who would do anything for love, even get married.

The stories about people told in this book reflect feelings or situations which many of us have experienced in our own lives. While the essence of the stories is real, many are composites and, in most cases, names of individuals and other characteristics have been changed.

Mama Genas
Marriage Manual

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;

And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

Dorothy Parker

Darlings!!!! Have no fear, Mama Gena is here!

Well, darlings, shes back. The irrepressible, outrageous, fabulously irreverent Mama Gena is here to break open the seal on the secret to a fabulous marriage. Marriage, today, is about as relevant an institution as the National Rifle Association. Mama wants to renovate, to revive, to revitalize! To tear down the existing structure and build something new, something fabulous, something that will accommodate everything a woman is, and everything a woman wants. If Mama can make room, within every marriage, for the fulfillment of every single woman on this planet, we will have a glorious foundation from which to build passion, friendship, intimacy, and a flourishing family life for the entire world.

Congratulations on your marriage. You found yourself a kick-ass man, you owned, you operated, you dragged him back to your cave and now, what do you do? You dont know what the hell to do, do you?

Wives are driving themselves into the ground in oh so many ways. Remember Party Girl Patty, in her hot leather miniskirt, who used to go wild and dance on the bar every Tuesday? Since the wedding, Patty doesnt even go out to party with her girlfriends anymore. Or what about Party Girl Sally, who is the talk of the town, criticized by everyone in her church group because shes married, with a child, and she still goes out in a miniskirt with her girlfriends every Tuesday? Whats a party girl to do? And what about Fat Nancy who seems to eat a whole cheesecake by herself every time her husband has another affair? Or sweet Rachel who is inconsolable now that her kids are in college and she is all alone with the big, boring lug? Or disillusioned Susan who had this fantasy of living in a big house in the suburbs and being a full-time mom, and now that-shes there, she is so isolated and lonely, with her husband working fifteen hours a day, that she can barely function? Or Constance, whose hairdresser is seeing far more of her than her husband ever did? Or Grace, who dropped out of school twenty years ago, when she became pregnant, never got the degree in nursing she always wanted, and now she is too scared to go back? Or Brenda, who never misses a chance to put her husband down in front of everyone? Mama, can we do better than this?

Is it possible to create something new, something fun, something real, something true that contains and encourages the hot, sexy, vibrant spirit of a woman? Do our Sex and the City days have to end? Can we be responsible, and have a blast as we love our husbands and raise our children? Can we keep the hot in our throb? Can we be flirtatious, outrageous, joyous, and still change diapers, go to the office, and have a hot hunk of manhood in our bed every night?

Marriage is misunderstood. Thats why so many of them fail. We live in a world right now where over half of marriages end in divorce, and of those that survive, how many are actually happy? OK, OK, you may say, happiness was never the point. Putting food on the table, a roof over their heads, and raising children, that is the point. Aint it so, word up. The institution of marriage was created for the purpose of the survival of the human species. And therein lies the problem. In this wealthy, abundant world, we no longer need marriage to survive. Women can support themselves very well, thank you, in the world today, and make enough money to live on their own. One-third of all babies born are born out of wedlock, so apparently you dont need wedlock to feed yourself, clothe yourself, or make babies. Seems we have all figured that one out. So what exactly is marriage for? Has it not become extinct, like a relic hanging from the ceiling in the Natural History Museum?

Are you ready? Mamas gonna tell you, but you may not be able to hear. You may even disagree. But hang with me on this one. In fact, dont agree with me about what a marriage is for. Just let this viewpoint float right alongside your viewpoint.

Ready?

Fun.

Marriage is for fun. It is to make our lives more fun than they would be without marriage.