Hayley Long - Being a Girl

This book is for you. Thats right, YOU.

Being a girl is awesome.

And being a teenage girl is especially awesome.

For one thing, youre not yet a full-fledged adult, and this is good . It means that no one can reasonably expect you to behave like Ms. Matilda Mature for hours and hours on end. But at the same time, youre not a little kid any more either. And this is good too. Because no one can reasonably expect you to wear that daisy cardigan that was lovingly hand-knitted for you by your grandma.

And when youre a teenage girl, you have plenty of time to do the things that you really want to be doing. Like sleeping and chatting and listening to loud music and sleeping and shopping and wearing cool clothes and sleeping and chatting and laughing so hard that it makes you cry and sleeping and dreaming and being a bit random.

And when youre a teenage girl, you dont have to worry about the boring stuff. Like having a full-time job and paying bills.

All in all, its a unique and special situation that youre in.

Happy days!

So why waste your precious teenage time reading this book?

Shouldnt you just be living the teenage dream?

The answer is yes and no. Live the dream, definitely. But spare a couple of hours to read this book too. Theres a good chance you might get something useful out of it. Because even though your age alone makes you one of planet Earths bright young things , being a teenage girl isnt a nonstop bundle of LOLs.

Sometimes its actually quite strange and baffling and seriously weird .

And every once in a while, its just a total headache. Which you probably already know.

On those headache days, you might catch yourself wishing youd been born a boy. But if you think that boys have it easy, just take a moment to consider these two things:

1. The smell of your bedroom . I bet it smells nice. Am I right? Now think of your brothers bedroom.* Enough said.
2. Male bodies are weird . Im not being rude. Im being factual. Theres no point denying itthe penis is a pretty peculiar apparatus. It has its uses, of course. In fact, it can do some marvelous things. But, be honest, would you really want a penis of your own?

Nope. Me neither.

*No brother? No problem. Just find a spare room in your house and throw in some wet grass, a couple of hamsters, several scoops of mashed potatoes, and a pair of sweaty soccer cleats. Then take a long hard sniff. If you did have a brother, theres a good chance that this is what his room would smell likemore or less.

Still wish you were a boy?

If the answer is yes, please dont panic youre not the first and you certainly wont be the last. These things happen. Its because gender is something that is thrust upon us whether we like it or not. A bit like a weird birthday present. Or that hand-knitted daisy cardigan. Ill talk more about gender a little later on.

If the answer is not yes but

then welcome back to the sisterhood , my friend. Being a girl is something worth celebrating. It means youre

And, OK, there are those awkward moments. And other sorts of weirdness toobut heres the thing:

You dont need to go through any of the bad parts on your own.

Because if theres one thing that all of us girls tend to be pretty good at, its talking about how we feel . And thats really handy. Because it means that some girl somewherewhether its your best friend or your sympathetic sister or your trustworthy aunt or just some random woman whos written a letter to a magazinewill know exactly how you feel and be happy to share the experience with you. This will make that awkward moment seem less bad and more normal. But just in case you still think that NOBODY understands and youre in this totally on your ownyoure not! Youve got me and Im talking to you via this book!

But who the heck am I?

I write stuff for teenagers, and my mission here is to steer you through all of lifes harsher moments and tell you everything I know about being a girl. And I know a thing or two because:

1. Ive been one.
2. Im currently a woman.* Which is the same as being a girl, reallyjust older.
3. In addition to being a writer, I was an English teacher for yearsand this means Ive chatted with teenage girls about every subject under the sun. Thats the beauty of books for you! Theyre full of all sorts of delicious details that lead to all sorts of fascinating discussions. Shakespeares plays are the best. Because his favorite topics are pretty much these:

sex, death

&

Betrayal

*Im not expecting this situation to change.

By the way, do you know how old Juliet was when she snuck off in secret to marry her Romeo? Thirteen.

So if you ever hear anyone ranting about how the young people of today are getting worse, quietly ignore them. They are wrong. Please feel free to use Romeo and Juliet as evidence.

4. Ive talked to a bunch of boys as well. This means I have inside information. I can tell you a bit about what boys think.
Also, I promise not to talk to you as if youre a toddler with a mouthful of Goldfish crackersIll tell it to you straight.
But before we go any further, Im going to let you in on a personal secret. I was terrible at being a teenage girl.

Or I thought I was. And if I could travel back in time and tell the thirteen-year-old me that one day Id be trusted with the important task of writing this book, Id laugh really hard in my own middle-aged face and say: