2. Blooming and Bearing Fruit
in a Cracked-Pot World
12. Patience and Perseverance
as the Glue Sets and the Design Takes Shape
Introduction:
What a Mystery!
Life Can Be Both Fun and Fractured
I have spent a good portion of my lifeactually, most of my lifeseeking a sense of self. I suspect it takes at least half a century to get to that point where a person can say, Im starting to know who I am. I also suspect that a huge part of the process is discovering that lots of things in our lives are broken and in need of repair. We all experience fissures of the heartfractured relationships, weakening moral fiber, and a certain amount of religious disillusionment. At times I have wondered if there isnt a glue-like substance meant to fill in the fracturesa brain gunk or a spiritual spackle. And, at times, Ive wondered if that spackle comes in vats!
Actually, thats where our Redeemer comes in. We need someone who can fix our broken places, spackle our perspective, and give us a reason to laugh. God sent Jesus as a Redeemer to do just thatto redeem the shards of our lives and create a stained-glass perspective. When we realize were broken and acknowledge Jesus as our Redeemer, then the cruising blows of life do not destroy us. Instead, we see through our repaired eyes the goodness of the L ORD in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13). Then we live with hope, we dance more often, we laugh more deeply, and we are not surprised by the fact that life is all cracked up. In the end, the discovery of self isnt nearly as much about who we are as about Whose we are.
Ive also learned that along the way, its good to have friends to talk to, laugh with, and share life with. Thats where this book comes in.
The chapters that follow have questions aimed at greater reflection and small group discussion. Im all for you calling a couple of girlfriendsor perhaps women youd like to become your girlfriendsand saying, Hey, lets take on the challenge together of smoothing some of our frayed nerves and maybe finding a little focus and strength. Theres comfort in numbersas long as they are numbers of friends and not numbers of problems!
If you find yourself elected leader of the grouptake heart! A Facilitators Guide is at the back of this book. If you are doing this study on your own, you may want to spend some extra time with these questions as well.
You are likely to discover as you discuss some of these issues that the Redeemer very subtly begins to repair some of the broken stuff in your life. Some areas that you thought were damaged goods just may become prized possessions. Broken doesnt automatically mean unusable. Brokenness can be the vibrancy that makes us more valuable!
I hope youll laugh along the way... and in the end, become more tenderly heartened that life can be both fun and fulfilling, even if fractured.
1
Filling in the Fissures
No woman is complete in herself. Every woman faces two challengesfirst, to embrace her own abilities and uniqueness, and second, to appreciate other individuals God puts in her life for completion, balance, and fun. You have a lot to you, and a lot to giveyou also have been given others who are in a position to give to you! Allow God to use their strengths to help you, even as you offer your strengths to fill in their fissures.
Is Your Weakness Another Persons Strength?
Know what fractures my brain? Numbers. Somehow they just dont tally for me. Any numerical word can cause me to hyperventilate. Numbers just dont stick in my brain, not even with superglue. My husband, Les, has a calculator for a brain. He not only clearly remembers my age and weight, but he also remembers his army number from forty years ago. He can add up figures in his head faster than I can find a pencil and paper. How I, a numberless woman, married Les, a statistical mastermind, is beyond me. I used to think he rattled off digits just to annoy me. Now, after years of being mathematically humiliated, I realize he and his amazing mind are gifts to complete me. I could have saved myself years of frustration if Id have grasped that right off the bat.
Identify two or three of your strengths:
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In what ways has God allowed you to use those areas of strength to help a person who is weak in those areas? (Be specific!)
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Identify two or three of your weaknesses:
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Whom has God called alongside you to help you in those areas? (Again, be specific.)
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In what ways do we seem to resist the help of those who are strong in areas where we are weak?
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How does the Lord desire for us to relate to those who compensate for our weaknesses?
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Celebrating Differences
My husband, Les, loves Willie Nelson at high decibels, while I like the warmth of Bocelli played whisper-soft. Les likes a slab of cow on a tin plate, and I like gourmet goodies on a sterling tray. Les loves two big, fat pillows to sleep on, while I sleep pillowless. Les likes spaghetti westerns, while Im into spaghetti pie and Breakfast at Tiffanys. Les drives a honkin SUV, and I drive a wee PT Cruiser. Les wants to safari in Africa, while I want to invite friends into our home for tea. It didnt happen all at once, but along our marriage path, Les and I have learned to celebrate each others differences... we have learned to make space and extend grace. Marriage is, in part, learning to tolerate each others peculiarities and, when possible, to applaud them.
In what practical ways have you learned to celebrate the differences you have with your spouse, a longstanding friend, or a relative?