Infinite Ideas - Re-Eenergise Your Relationship: Simple Secrets for Reigniting the Passion

Re-energise your relationship

Simple secrets for reigniting the passion

Infinite Ideas

7. My favourite things

Birthdays, anniversaries, high days and holidays. They seem to come around more quickly every year. But what do you give the partner whos got everything?

If all your previous presents have passed their pleasure-by date, be inspired by our contemporary take on traditional tokens of affection.

PAMPER WITH A HAMPER

We cant think of a present that better captures what celebrations are all about. Pamper with a hamper that reflects your partners individual style, tastes and interests.

For example, if hes a football fan, cover a box with pictures from a football magazine and fill it with a ticket to see his team, a pair of football boots, chocolate-covered footballs or memorabilia, like a season ticket from the year he was born. Wrap it in his team colours. If shes a keen cyclist, prepare a package of bike accessories: a map of cycle routes, a voucher for a days tandem hire, cycling shorts, a personalised water bottle or a new D lock. Lovers a shopaholic? If you dont know her sizes, slip a voucher for her favourite shop into the handbag shes been drooling over all season. Wrap in a silk scarf and fasten with a brooch.

THEME

How about giving presents according to traditional wedding anniversary themes? You dont have to be married. Use them to celebrate the anniversary of when you first met, first moved in together or first smiled at each other across a crowded train. Or your partners third birthday since youve been together. You dont need a book like this to tell you that traditionally the 25th anniversary is silver, 40th ruby and 50th gold, but what about the earlier ones? Here are some brilliant gift ideas, but dont forget that every year is special.

1st paper

Surprise him with personalised notepaper. Think thick and creamy, embossed with his monogram or family crest. No family crest? Design one of your own. Alternatively, you could have your bedroom redecorated in new wallpaper. This could be a bit risky or seriously risqu, depending on how well you know your lovers interior design tastes. Books, book tokens, or hey, any paper voucher also make good gifts.

2nd cotton

Imagine this. Youve had a crap day at work, someone made a snide comment on the tube, you came home and were whisked into bed which had crisp, fresh, Egyptian cotton bed sheets, monogrammed with your and your partners initials. Just because he remembered it was two years to the day since you met. Why not have a shirt made to his measurements? Some tailors will add a small label with a personalised message.

3rd leather

You can go any way you want with this one: a pair of fitted leather jeans, flattering pencil skirt or thigh high books. And for the guys? Wallets are always welcome, especially if you slip something inside it. If youre partner is sentimental, a photo of you or a little note is sweet. But be warned, the more materialistic may be left wanting.

4th linen

Choices, choices: will you update bed linen, choose a gorgeous tablecloth and serve a memorable meal on it, or pledge to do all her laundry for a year?

5th wood

Our friend Simon surprised his partner Jackson by making a wooden loveseat for the garden. If your carpentry skills arent up to it, cheat and buy one. If youre looking for something smaller, how about a carved box to store love letters?

6th iron

A wrought iron bed or a trouser press. What would your partner rather have? You know him better than we do.

7th copper

Shiny pots or pans? Dont tie him to the kitchen sink. Plant a copper beech tree in the garden. In a high-rise flat? A bonsai tree with copper-coloured leaves will do the trick.

8th bronze

Treat her to a fake tanning treatment, or better still, a holiday where shell develop a real one.

9th china

A bone china dinner set for twelve, or if youre too boho for all that matching stuff, hand paint a dinner set at a ceramics cafe. Alternatively, you could take him on a trip to the Great Wall.

10th aluminium

Send your partner to the skies with a flying lesson.

11th steel

Time for some edgy, urban jewellery, artisan cutlery or develop nerves of steel with matching piercings.

14th ivory

How about piano lessons, or even a baby grand? Busts your budget? Ours too, but dream a little and go to hear a live pianist in concert instead.

30th pearl

Only a certain sort of woman wears twin sets and pearls. Were not saying theres anything wrong with that, but if its not your partners style, or if youre treating your fella, how about taking in a performance of Bizets Pearlfisher opera? Or, if the budget can stretch that far, a holiday in Bahrain?

How did it go?

QWere coming up to our 25th wedding anniversary and the family are clubbing together to buy us something special. Theyve asked us what we want, but we havent got a clue. Have you?

ATravel broadens the mind and revitalises long-term relationships. Once youve been together this long, experiences are more important than material things. Why not ask for travel vouchers and see the world on the Orient Express or QE2?

QIm not sure whether to buy an anniversary present just for my partner or get us something for the home. Any thoughts?

AWed go with both. Buy yourselves something youll both enjoy but exchange small personal gifts too.

Heres an idea for you

Instead of one big present, try five small ones one for each of the senses: smell, taste, vision, hearing and touch. And the perfect card? Shop bought or home made? Youll have to use your sixth sense for that: intuition.

Defining idea

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

PAUL SWEENEY

8. French kissing in the USA

Long-distance relationships can be legendary. Too often, theyre lacklustre. Whether youre working on opposite sides of the country or living in different continents, well save your relationship from long-distance doldrums.

Even the strongest relationships can crumble if one of you is away working, serving with the armed forces or in prison. How can you keep your love alive until your next joyful reunion?

SHES LEAVING HOME

Unless, like our friend Bernice, you met your soulmate at an airport just hours before both jetting off in different directions, youll probably have some time together before doing any long-distance loving. Sorry, but you do have to talk about your impending separation. Its tempting to avoid it, but most problems happen when there are misunderstandings. If you secretly expect your partner to surprise you with spontaneous visits or pick you up from the airport, unless hes telepathic youre gonna feel let down. You also need to work out how youll communicate across time zones and other barriers. Peter works away at a prison for part of the week, where security prohibits mobile phones. We negotiate a time hell call so Sabina doesnt wait by the phone. If your partners not behind bars, a videophone may be a viable and attractive option especially if youve got an attractive partner. How about a weekly emailed photo diary? Maybe its time to get blogging? Or invest in a home DVD recorder, to send clips and comments in the post. On a more practical note, it can save a lot of hassle if you work out a household budget, especially if the main earner is working away. Staying in touch over distance is expensive and needs to be factored in. Worries strain relationships, so the less hassle, the happier youll be together. In long-term relationships, people tend to get a bit dependent. If this sounds familiar, swap skills. If you both know where your fuse box is, how to clean out a U-bend or check the car oil level, youre less likely to panic when youre home alone. And we know it sounds morbid, but we suggest making wills. All that travel cranks up your chances of a premature trip to the undertaker.