DUKE THAO - The Deliciously Cheesy Happiness Equation

THE DELICIOUSLY CHEEESY

HAPPINESS

EQUATION

By

DUKE THAO

THE DELICIOUSLY CHEESY HAPPINESS EQUATION

Copyright 2021 by Duke Thao

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For Shoua: My friend, mentor, hero, and mother.

I once gave a speech titled The Happiness Equation at a Toastmaster event at work. It was my first Toastmaster speech, so the speech was mediocre at best. I didnt think much of it afterward. A couple of weeks later, a fellow team member, Matthew, publicly thanked me for the presentations ideas. Matthew said that he had asked a girl out on a date, and she turned him down, but the ideas from The Happiness Equation helped him understand that he is in charge of his happiness, regardless of the external outcome. Despite being rejected, he used the ideas from the presentation and achieved happiness. Matthews happiness became independent of the results outside.

Most of us simply exist in the winds of the elements outside. We live our lives to what will happen to us, and our happiness depends on the good things that will come our way. We are happy during sunny days and depressed during stormy days. We forget that the sun is always shining above the clouds. Our happiness is like the sun, and it is always shining from inside. Through understanding and applying the Happiness Equation, we can release our happiness to let it shine through.

When I was twenty years old, I said something really silly without any thoughts or planning to predict my future happiness. I said, When I am 30, I would be happy if I am making $30,000.00 a year. That was long ago, and the 30/30 sounds like a good round number and starting point to save, invest, and prepare for a better future. When I was 29 years old, I made one and a half million dollars, was happily married, and lived in a mini-mansion. Life couldnt be better, so I thought because I made it. Little did I know that we never make it outside because our true journey is on the inside. The information and energy that empowers our happiness and strength live inside us.

Around that time, I remembered thinking that when I am 40 years old, I would be worth tens of millions of dollars and happily retired. It turns out I was very wrong because when I was 41, I was unemployed, divorced, and living in an apartment. A major national retailer offered me a job to work in their receiving dock for $8.00 per hour. In my best month as a NASDAQ market maker, I made $330,000.00. At $8.00 per hour, it would take 240 months, or 19.83 years, to earn that amountthe outside volatility swings wildly against our expectations. A year later, short on funds, I moved in with my brother. I lived a life without clarity and inner strength , and that is how I arrived at being lost in the jungles of life.

I went past midlife, and I felt like someone lost in their late teens and not knowing what was ahead, and I didnt know what to do for a better journey ahead. Theres a sense of embarrassment and shame in getting lost in lifes jungle. I have questions that I need to find answers to because I did not have the answers then. Is my best life in the past? Where or how do I go forward from here to make it better and even exciting ? If I want a better life ahead, what do I need to learn from my past? What do I need to learn from others? What is a better life?

Fortunately for me, after my divorce, I didnt take the path of trying to find a better life and happiness in bars and clubs or even meeting the next person. I felt that it was me that got me here, and if I did not correct it at the source, I would find another similar destination. I remember asking myself why beautiful beings like Siddhartha or Mother Theresa would work all their lives for others and have nothing for themselves. I want to know why because I want to experience their clarity, strength, and happiness. I needed to learn clarity, inner strength, and happiness from others who came before and attained inner peace, confidence, and strength inside against the changing outside elements. I want to define who I want to be on the inside, find out what it will take to find me, and begin my work towards a better me. My divorce became a blessing as it freed me to discover myself. I lived my life from a conditioned being in a changing world, and I received my results accordingly. Thus, going forward, I will need better information to guide and stronger energy for my drive.

I remember not knowing what to do but knowing what not to do. I wasnt going to use my time unwisely as I had done before. I unknowingly took my first step when I heard that one of my uncles offered to teach the nephews a traditional marriage liaison class, so I showed up to learn. On the non-traditional side, I bought audio CDs of a well-known motivational speaker and began listening and even taking notes. They are very small first steps in learning from others. In my traditional class, I realized inner strength is embedded in the traditional teachings of service as our minds and hearts strengthen to help others. We learn to understand and help resolve social issues. When we learn traditions, we also learn the embedded laws of the heart. Despite being new to me, the motivational material that I bought is a regurgitation of the information and energy of others repackaged to seem original. The speaker and his energy are original, but the material is not. The true source is more ancient. For example, great writers from ancient Greece, like Sophocles, learned to write tragedies 2500 years ago. Thus, great thinkers also learned the art of strength and happiness a long time ago. They share their understanding with us through time.

We often keep working with our conditioned self, but we hardly look for our better self. We keep looking at the world from a conditioned perspective instead of a clear perspective. For one thing, I did not know how to think for the benefit of others. We live our lives for others happiness because it sows the seeds for further happiness for everyone around us. If we consider others happiness, we make fewer mistakes. If we consider only our happiness, we make many mistakes as our desires and ego overwhelm our decisions. When we see the world for the happiness of others, we see a more beautiful world.

I also didnt know that I had to fall to rise to become better or that fear held me to my small comfort zone. At the edge of our becoming better are fears, failures, and suffering. My failure and embarrassment of further failure will help to sow the seeds to better me for others, including myself. When we face our fears, we expand and grow beyond our comfort zone into exciting adventures. There is no permanent happiness destination outside, but we can arrive at lasting happiness inside our hearts strength. As I began conducting better information and energy, I realized that I wanted to take it a step further. I decided to design my energy for how I want to feel in the external challenges. By designing my energy, I am designing how I will feel in the face of obstacles. I then put the information and energy I designed inside me. Many of us already put energy inside, but we do not design it with our clear minds. We normally design it in the spur of the moment with our desires and fears. I want to design my emotional energy while my mind is calm.