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Scott Adams - Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right

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Scott Adams Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right
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    Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right
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AMPs Dilbert calendars are the best-selling calendars in the world, with sales over 400,000 every year. Pointless projects, endless meetings, and random downsizing make up the Dilbert world.Hes the icon of millions of corporate workers, the most popular cubicle dweller on this planet. He spends his days in endless meetings with incompetent supervisors, performing perfunctory tasks mixed with the occasional team-building, brainstorming, or management fad-of-the-day session. He has entertained us for more than two decades: Hes Dilbert.Created in 1989 by Adams, in his own cubicle as a doodle distraction, Dilbert has found a home in the workplace, this generations home away from home. Adams amuses readers with his portrayal of the absurdities of this environment with unfailing accuracy and precision. As readers of more than 2,000 newspapers, millions of books, and the newly revamped Dilbert.com site know, the familiar mouthless character with the upturned tie, his dog, Dogbert, the pointy-haired Boss, over-achieving Alice and underachieving Wally, Human Resources director Catbert, depict a world thats all too easy to recognize, complete with shrinking cubicles, clueless co-workers, focus groups and ill-conceived management concepts.In this all-new chronological collection, Adams further exploits the fodder of workaday life, making even the most cynical cubicle dweller laugh at our shared, absurd work lives.

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Introduction
In the past hundred years, the word committee has morphed from a description of a group of people attempting to accomplish something useful into what we now generally perceive as an insult. In modern times, people view committee decisions the same way they might view, for example, Satan falling in love with a donkey and producing a child. Even the donkey wouldnt love that child. Meanwhile, long ago, the people who did real work, such as raising barns, or passing buckets of water to extinguish fires, were taking full advantage of something called teamwork. It was a wonderful thing, and it propelled civilization forward. Teamwork earned an excellent reputation, while at the same time the world started to view committees as plagues on humanity.

Decades later, white-collar managers wisely borrowed the word teamwork to refer to the committee-like activities within their departments, and by that I mean the complaining, backstabbing, lying with PowerPoint slides, swilling coffee, shirking responsibility, and focusing on the wrong priorities. Managers hoped the word teamwork, with its decades of accrued goodwill, would inspire employees to act in selfless and coordinated ways toward common goals. That didnt work out. While managers like to use the word teamwork for group projects, employees prefer more honest labels such as weaselfest, skunk dance, and a colorful term involving the word cluster. If you work in an office, its a safe bet that the only time you use the world teamwork is when youre trying to manipulate a co-worker into doing his own work plus some of yours. If you can pull that off, you probably have management potential. In todays modern workplace, teamwork has become a form of punishment.

If youre not talented enough to work independently, your boss will make you pay dearly by putting you on a team full of people who are just like you. It wont be long before managers squeeze all of the goodwill out of the word teamwork and start looking for a fresh word to spoil. When that happens, I will happily mock the situation for your entertainment. Remember, you and I are on the same team. But I dont recommend bragging about it. Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 3Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 4Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 5Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 6Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 7Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 8Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 9Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 10Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 11Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 12Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 13Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 14Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 15Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 16Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 17Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 18Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 19Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 20Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 21Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 22Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 23Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 24Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 25Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 26Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 27Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 28Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 29Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 30Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 31Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 32Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 33Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 34Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 35Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 36Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 37Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 38Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 39Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 40Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 41Teamwork Means You Cant Pick the Side thats Right - photo 42

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