Bethany Keeley - The book of unnecessary quotation marks: a celebration of creative punctuation

QUOTATION MARKS AND THE NEW YOU Today is the first day of the rest of your life, because you are reading this book, which will change the way you view punctuation forever. Before, you may have used quotation marks sparinglyfor example, when quoting someone. Perhaps you thought there were grammatical rules, limiting the possible occasions for using the humble quotation mark. That may once have been the case. But from my experience curating the Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks, I can tell you that people are developing new and exciting ways to use the quotation mark every day. In fact, there are literally millions of ways to use these little word adornments to express yourself.

They are much more than mere punctuation. They can serve so many purposes! Quotation marks are like the character actors of print, playing a wide variety of roles. Theyre the little tchotchkes that spruce up an otherwise plain statement, the word dimples that mark an adorable pun, or the punctuation equivalent of the ironic hipster mustache, assuring your audience that you are WAY too cool to mean that particular word sincerely (or, perhaps, that you are cool enough to know that mustaches are the new goatee). Not sure how to start using quotation marks yourself, or how to interpret their myriad meanings? Well, dont be frightenedthats what this book is here to teach you. After some practice, youll find that quotation marks are merely the makings of a fun linguistic puzzle for you to solve. To help you on your way toward better integrating quotation marks into your life (and understanding those you encounter on a day-to-day basis), Ive assembled a list of the various ways quotation marks are used in the world around us.

Of course, new meanings for the quotation mark are popping up every day, so youll want to keep track of your own findings and discoveries, too (see ). The pages that follow contain some basic categories of quotation mark use that will guide you through the rest of this book. USE : Quotation EXPLANATION : A very popular historical use for the quotation mark, a quotation is something somebody once said somewhere. For example, I have a dream is something Martin Luther King Jr. said once. Heres a classic quote.

Who said that? Yeats? USE: Nickname EXPLANATION: A persons or places nickname or assumed name is often marked by quotation marks. Just ask my friend The Drooler. This boat is nicknamed Fun Ship, which has a much better ring to it than its original nickname, Drudgery Vessel. USE: Sarcasm or disbelief EXPLANATION: Quotation marks are often used to indicate the opposite of the word that they quote. For example, those cookies are so healthy. Here, it depends on your definition of fresh.

USE: Title EXPLANATION: Songs, poems, and other short pieces of art are often marked by quotation marks. For instance, you might ask someone to come and view a performance piece titled Please Close Door. Bathroom call at lunch is a little-known Star Wars-themed dance. The best part is when you blow up the Death Star. USE: Euphemism EXPLANATION: Sometimes we are too delicate to be explicit. Quotation marks can help even the most squeamish person say dirty or inappropriate things comfortably.

You know, like when your parents stay home alone to clean up the place. Basically, dont do anything. And really dont do anything that hanging out might be a euphemism for. USE: Slang EXPLANATION: Popular slang terms are often placed in quotation marksthis is especially common when the writer considers herself too elite to use said term seriously. For example, when your pretentious friend asks if you are having fun shopping for some bling. USE: Turn of phrase EXPLANATION: As with slang terms, quotation marks can help clarify when you dont mean something literally.

Nobody is actually putting lipstick on a pig, and when you win three hands of poker in a row, you do not literally ignite, even if you are on fire. You know, Any Other Film or Book, as the kids say. USE: Pun EXPLANATION: In case your joke is so subtle (or terrible) that you dont think people will notice the pun, quotation marks can serve to elicit the groan you are looking for. In this case, the quotation marks are like a street sign: Warning! Bad pun approaching! USE: Code EXPLANATION: When dealing with secret government agencies or illegal activities, sometimes you have to use code wordsput them in quotation marks to make them more effective. For example, ship the gift to my cousins house in D.C. This sign is clearly speaking in code about, um, something.

USE: Insincerity EXPLANATION: Quotation marks are a good way to pretend to mean something that you dont mean, or to make promises that you dont think youll be able to keep. Like, how this crappy DVD player that Im selling out of the back of my truck is 100% not stolen and is backed by a lifetime warranty. Yeah, home weekends guaranteedthey really mean it. USE: Symptom of descent into madness EXPLANATION: Sometimes quotation marks are simply part of the insane scribblings of a deranged mind, or have symbolism that is meaningful only to the writer and the other voices in his head. Now that you have these common interpretations under your belt, you are probably feeling pretty confident about your ability to recognize quotation mark use in your everyday life. The celebration isnt over, though.

The rest of this book will give you more examples of the use and misuse of quotation marks, sensical and non, that will enlighten and enliven your shopping, travels, and social interactions. Creative and exciting uses of quotation marks can pop up where you least expect them: keep an eye out as you go about your day, shop, eat, work, drive, and, um, do your business. WHAT DO YOU NEED TO FIND AND INTERPRET THE CREATIVE USES OF QUOTATION MARKS? safari vest with lots of pockets for your gear some kind of helmet (for safety) camera (one that also has video is best, in case you catch someone making finger quotes in their speech) notebook for documenting and categorizing finds tape recorder as notebook backup laser pointer headlamp kazoo