Liz Fielding - The Secret Life of Lady Gabriella

2007

LADY MARCH?

Ellies tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth. This was such a mistake. She wasnt a lady. She shouldnt be here. She should own up right now

I apologise for keeping you waiting, Jennifer Cochrane continued, but there was a crisis at the printers I had to deal with.

Unable to speak, Ellie attempted an answering smile. Even in her borrowed clothes, hair swirled up in a sophisticated style and wearing more make-up than shed normally wear in a month, shed been expecting someone to point a finger at her, shout impostor the moment shed stepped within the hushed portals of the offices of Milady magazine.

Shed never meant to take it this far.

Never expected to get this far.

Wouldnt be here if the idea of her contributing saleable copy to a magazine aimed directly at ladies who, in between chauffeuring their offspring about in top-of-the-range 4x4s, lunched, gossiped and shopped hadnt produced such howls of mirth at her writers group.

Shed set out to show them-show herself, maybe-that while she might miss the magazines target audience by a mile, she was professional enough to write whatever was required.

And shed done it.

Shed read a dozen or so back copies of the magazine, looked for a gap that she could fill, and Lady Gabriellas Journal had been the result.

Written in the crisp, upper-class style of the magazine, shed offered the jottings of the perfect reader. Highlights in the life of a woman with three children, several well-bred and perfectly behaved dogs, and all the time in the world to devote to interior design, her garden, entertaining and sitting on worthy committees. Lady Gabriella was, of course, married to a man with the means to pay for it all.

Shed actually enjoyed writing it, vicariously living a completely different life if only on paper. Having no trouble at all imagining herself the lady of the house rather than simply caretaking the place during the owners absence.

Then, since shed done the work, shed submitted it to the magazine, enclosing some of her doodly drawings as an afterthought-an impression of the gothic turret that adorned one end of the house, the cat sitting in the deep embrasure of an arched window, a toddler (Lady Gs youngest)-expecting a swift thanks-but-no-thanks return in the self-addressed envelope provided for the purpose. Shed had enough of them to know the form. But if you didnt try, if you didnt pursue a dream, hunt it down until there was no breath left in your body, let chances slip by, then what was the point?

The letter, addressed to Lady Gabriella March, inviting her for a chat, should have been enough. She would show it to the writers group and take a bow, point proved. Except it wasnt.

This was a never-to-be-repeated chance to talk to the editor of a famous, if fading, magazine-which was why she was here, in the office of Jennifer Cochrane, a woman of advanced years but formidable character, who had the style, diction and classic wardrobe-including the mandatory double row of pearls-of one of the minor royals. One of the seriously scary ones.

Transformed by her disapproving sister, Stacey, into Lady Gabriella March for the day, it took all her concentration to put down the cup she was holding without spilling the contents over the designer suit that Stacey-another formidable woman-had lent her for the occasion. To then stand up and cross the inches-deep carpet in precariously high heels-also her sisters-without falling flat on her face.

Having left it too late to cut and run, she had no choice but follow through. BreatheConcentrate, she told herself. One foot in front of the other, the walk functional rather than flirty. Sedate duchess rather than saucy domestic

Having managed to negotiate the coffee cup and carpet without disaster, she offered her hand and said, How dyou do, Mrs Cochrane?

She was convinced she looked, and sounded, exactly like Eliza Doolittle at Ascot-just before she let slip the expletive

Mrs Cochrane, however, appeared to notice nothing amiss in this performance, and offered her an unexpectedly warm smile, waving her away from the desk towards the more informal sofa.

Were both busy women, Lady March, so Im not going to waste time. I enjoyed the diary pieces you sent me. And the drawings you used to illustrate them.

Really?Oh, that wasnt cool. But shed never been face to face with an editor before, let alone had a chat with one. She tried to restrain the idiotic grin, slow the heart-rate to something more stately. Thank you.

The drawings have a delightful spontaneity, as if youd just doodled your thoughts.

Oh, I did, she exclaimed, then inwardly groaned as Mrs Cochrane smiled. This was definitely not the way to do itThen, in an effort to recover the situation, I did plan to go to art school

Which was true. But common sense ran like a seam of iron ore through her family genes, and shed seen the value of a good solid degree and a teaching qualification. Something practical that she could use all her life. Would fit around married life, children.

She shrugged-then wondered if a Lady, one with a capital L, would shrug-and left Mrs Cochrane to draw her own conclusions.

Clearly you chose marriage and children instead, Mrs Cochrane filled in for her, nodding and smiling with obvious approval. Most young women seem to be leaving it so late these days.

Fortunately she was looking at the drawings, spread across the low table in front of them, giving Ellie a moment to recover.

She picked one that was no more than a few lines suggesting the upraised bottom, the chubby legs of an infant almost ready to stand up and take her first steps.

This is Chloe? Your youngest child?

Ellie looked at the picture. It was the daughter of one of the women she worked for in her day job, drawn from memory without a thought.

How could she have done that?

Charming, Mrs Cochrane said, without waiting for an answer. Then, Im going to be frank with you, Lady March-

Gabriella, please.

Gabriella. Ive been looking for someone who can write a regular lifestyle column for some time. It has been extraordinarily difficult to find a writer capable of finding just the tone our readers appreciate.

Ellie was not entirely surprised to hear that; no one born since 1950 wrote that way.

There was always just a suggestion of the pastiche. A lack of sincerity. She smiled. Sincerity is essential.

Absolutely, she managed, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her. Right now.

Of course Im not interested in the rather dated diary format.

Which was the sole reason shed chosen it. And, from a point where she had been praying to whatever saint was supposed to be looking after the interests of neophyte writers to get on with sorting out that hole for her to disappear into, she was suddenly indignant. Why bring her all the way up to London for a chat about her work, then tell her that it wasnt what was wanted?

Im looking for something less formal-something that will appeal to the younger generation of women we need to attract. Your writing has a lively freshness, a touch of irreverence that is quite striking.

All the things shed done her absolute best to suppressWhat Id like to suggest to you is a regular contribution based on your own experiences of entertaining, household management, the small oddities of family life. Not a diary as such, more a conversation with the reader. A chat over coffee, or lunch with a friend.