Tahereh Mafi - Fracture Me

Addie? Addie, wake up. Addie

I roll over with a groan and stretch, rubbing both eyes with the heel of my hand. Its too early for this shit.

Addie

Still half asleep, I grab James by the collar and yank him down, shoving his head under the blanket. He shouts and I laugh, wrapping him up in the sheets until he cant get out.

Stooooop iiiiiiit, he whines, little fists pounding against the sheets. Addie, let me out

Heyhow many times have I told you to stop calling me that?

James tries to punch me through the blanket. I pick him up and flip him over in my arms and he screams, his legs kicking wildly.

Youre so mean, he cries, wriggling around in my grip. If Kenji were here, he would never let y

At that, I freeze, and James can feel it. He goes quiet in my arms, and I let him go. He untangles himself from my sheets, and we stare at each other.

James blinks. His bottom lip trembles and he bites down on it. Do you know if hes okay?

I shake my head.

Kenji is still in the medical wing. No one knows for sure what happened yet, but people have been talking. Whispering.

I look toward the wall. James is still speaking, but Im too distracted to pay attention.

Its hard for me to believe Juliette could hurt anyone like that.

Everyone says hes gone, James is saying now.

This, I catch.

What? I turn back, alarmed. How?

James shrugs. I dont know. They said he broke out of his room.

What are you talking about? How could he break out of his room?

James shrugs again. I dont think he wanted to be here anymore.

Butwhat? I screw up my face, confused. Does that mean hes feeling better? Did someone tell you he was feeling better?

James frowns. Did you want him to feel better? I thought you didnt like him.

I sigh. Run a hand through the back of my hair. Of course I like him. I know we dont always get along, but its really close quarters in here, and hes always got so many damn opinions

James shoots me a strange look. So . . . you dont want to kill him? Youre always saying you want to kill him.

Im not serious when I say stuff like that. I try not to roll my eyes. He and I have been friends for a long time. Im actually worried about him.

Okay, James says carefully. Youre weird, Addie.

I cant help but laugh a little. Why am I weird? And hey, stop calling me Addieyou know how much I hate that

Yeah, and I still dont know why. He cuts me off. Mom always used to call you Addie

Well Moms dead, isnt she? My voice has gone hard. My hands are clenched. And when I see the look on Jamess face, Im instantly sorry for being so harsh. I release my fists. Take a deep breath.

James swallows hard. Sorry, he says quietly.

I nod, look away. Yeah. Me too. I pull a shirt on over my head. So Kenjis gone then, huh? I cant believe hed just leave like that.

Why would Kenji be gone? James asks. I thought you said you didnt even know if he w

But I thought you said

We stop. Stare at each other.

James is the first to speak. I said Warner is gone. Everyone is saying he escaped last night.

Just the sound of his name and Im already pissed off. Stay here, I say, pointing at James and grabbing my boots.

But

Dont move until I get back! I shout before bolting out the door.

That bastard. I cant believe this.

Im pounding on Castles door when Ian spots me on his way down the hall.

Hes not in there, Ian says, still walking.

I catch his arm. Is it true? Did Warner really get out?

Ian sighs. Shoves his hands into his pockets. Finally, he nods.

I want to put my fist through the wall.

I gotta go suit up, Ian says, breaking away. And you should, too. Were heading out after breakfast.

Are you serious? I say. Were still heading out to fighteven with all this shit going on?

Of course we are, Ian snaps at me. You know we cant wait any longer. The supreme isnt going to reschedule his plans to launch an attack on the civilians. Its too late to back out now.

But what about Warner? I demand. Were not going to try and find him?

Maybe. Ian shrugs. See if you can find him on the battlefield.

Jesus. Im so filled with rage I can hardly see straight. I could kill Castle for letting this happenfor being so goddamn soft with him

Rein it in, man. Ian cuts me off. Weve got other problems. And heyhe grabs my shoulder, looks me in the eyeyoure not the only one whos pissed at Castle. But nows not the time.

I shake him off, shoot him a dark look, and charge back down the hall.

James has all sorts of questions when I get back, but Im still so angry Im not ready to deal with him. It doesnt seem to matter; James is stubborn as hell. Im strapping on holsters and locking my weapons into place and he wont back down.

But then what did he say? James is asking. After you said we should find Warner?

I adjust my pants, tighten the laces on my boots.

James taps my arm. Adam. He taps my arm again. Did he know where Castle was? Another tap. Did he say what time you guys had to leave today? More tapping. Adam when are y

I pick him up and he squeaks; I place him in a far corner of the room.

Addie

I throw a blanket over his head.

James shouts and struggles with the blanket until he manages to pull it off and throw it down. Hes red in the face and his fists are clenched and hes finally mad.

I start laughing. I cant help it.

James is so frustrated he has to spit the words out when he speaks. Kenji said that I have as much right to know whats happening down here as everyone else. Kenji never gets mad when I ask questions. He never ignores me. Hes never mean to me, and youre being m-mean to me, and I dont like it when you l-laugh at me

Jamess voice breaks, and its only then that I look up. I notice the tears streaked across his cheeks.

Hey, I say, meeting him across the room. Hey, hey. I grip his shoulders, drop to one knee. Whats going on? Why the tears? What happened?

Youre leaving. James hiccups.

Aw, cmon, I sigh. You knew I was leaving, remember? Remember when we talked about this?

Youre going to die. Another hiccup.

I raise an eyebrow at him. I didnt know you could tell the future.

Addie

Hey

I dont call you Addie in front of anyone else! James says, protesting before I have a chance to. I dont know why it makes you so mad. You said you loved it when Mom called you Addie. Why cant I?

I sigh again as I get to my feet, mussing his hair on my way up. James makes a strangled sound and jerks away. Whats the problem? I ask. I pull up my pants leg to attach a semiautomatic to the holster underneath. Ive been a soldier for a long time now. Youve always known the risks. Whats different all of a sudden?

James is quiet long enough for me to notice. I look up.

I want to come with you, he says, wiping his nose with a shaky hand. I want to fight, too.

My body goes rigid. Were not having that conversation again.

But Kenji said

I dont give a rats ass what Kenji said! You are a ten-year-old child, I say. You are not fighting in any war. Not walking onto any battlefield. Do you understand me?

James stares at me.

I said, Do you understand me? I walk right up to him, grab his arms.

James flinches a little. Yes, he whispers.

Yes, what?

Yes, sir, he says, staring at the ground now.

Im breathing so hard my chest is heaving. Never again, I say quietly now. We are never having this conversation. Not ever again.

Okay, Addie.

I swallow hard.

Im sorry, Addie.

Get your shoes on. I stare at the wall. Its time for breakfast.