John Roberts - twisdom

insights and revelations from @swamiroberts

2013 by John R. Roberts
All rights reserved.
ISBN 978-0-9910499-0-5

To Brenda Clark aka @pdxwatch the most literate person on Twitter.

On the matter of the origin of Swami Roberts, in 2008 I read about a bestselling novel in Japan written by a woman while commuting to her job by tapping out passages on her cellphone. Over a period of months those passages were collected together into her bestselling book. This story inspired me to consider what I would write if used the same slices of my own time.

Then in 2009 a four and a half year job ended with a mass and sad layoff of me and my co-workers. Economically adrift, I decided to engage in social networking, the face-to-face kind. Being a shy technologist I got out of my shell by attending the Beer and Blog, Lunch 2.0, CHIFOO (Computer Human Interface Forum of Oregon), Barcamp, Ignite Portland, PDX Breakfast, WebVisions, Werewolf, Dorkbot, Open Source Bridge, Android User Group, PDX Cocoaheads, InnoTech, Drupalcon and Chirp.

As I wandered through technical meetup after meetup, I discovered that Twitter was the most common way tech folks were communicating and keeping in touch. I got on board and settled on SwamiRoberts to see if I could write that novel after all, a tweet at a time.

For myself I have to be in the right mood to do a Swami tweet. Generally I have to experience something in life, then reflect on it during a pause or when Im relaxing. Based on real life experiences the Swami tries to inform in his own unique way.

Of course Twitter imposes a 140 character discipline. Your tweet can be less, but no more than the 140 limit. This means some tweets lose punctuation, use simple abbreviations or even reflect on this terse limit. The brevity inherent in tweeting forces you to get right to the point and the Swami tries his best to stay on point.

The Swami started tweeting in 2010 and here it is 2013 for his first book. There will likely be another book down the line, but Im sure the Swami would say that he would tweet no twisdom before its time.

The Swami seeks to avoid work, but has much to tweet about it.

Sagging spirits are emanating from the giant cubicle farm in a towering skyscraper of automation.

A job is that which must be done yet someone who thought of it doesn't want to do it.

Don't accept the free refill if you are already overcaffinated.

The soul of the man toiling intensely is of such attraction that other men are compelled to watch.

Luck is best encountered after extended effort towards a goal.

The job that works out is to be celebrated. The job that fails is to be despised, but not until it is over.

To achieve success use a mainstream name for a far out business.

The unemployed man who spends long mornings in coffee shops and short evenings in bars is happier than the worker with the Costco card.

The lazy manager misuses the economic downturn to ask job seekers to market assess his business, write the business plan then does not hire.

In your 30s learn all you can, in your 40s control all your can and in your 50s earn all you can is the mantra of the organization man.

A contractor does what you tell him while a consultant expects you to do what he tells you.

Morning coffee need not be followed by a monstrous pile of work.

When your platform is crumbling and you are still on the stage, make mental plans to flee at intermission.

When crossing over to the corporate communication brand where you work, tolerate some negativity and course-correct as positive as you can.

When your employer treats you as a child, it is he who lacks maturity. Resist the urge to spank him.

Start what you can't finish if you are proficient at palming things off on others.

There is nothing wrong with preferring the ignorance of success to the learning from failure.

Your long-range goal will be encumbered by short-term failures. Adjust your strategy to the future with present tactics.

If the employer you're interviewing with uses the word shitstorm when describing your potential work, nod politely & consider other offers

Extraordinary leadership is often a disguise for gifted followers.

The slacker who is late every morning should not be trusted with co-leading the group.

It takes much less energy to criticize a builder's creation than to construct your own invention. Value the builder and judge the critic.

You are well settled into a job when you know what you can get away with and start to do so.

The busy coffee shop with seated patrons is a pre-refuge from the mania city work is soon to bring.

When the dreaded hour to leave for work approaches, avoid thoughts of recliners and oceanside promenades.

If you seek power and ambition, kiss the butts of the mighty while you seek their fatal flaw to use against them at a vulnerable moment.

Do not mistake the normal tendency of humans towards inertia as loyalty.

Apply an intelligent adaptive solution to a stupid fixed problem.

You are unlikely to achieve revenue until the technology in your space is in the wild.

As soon as possible does not mean rush the job past the point of failure.

When you sense a long and laborious task, preach its excitement to others, get outvolved and avoid dwelling in implementation muck and mire.

When your boss mentions he is working the weekend, praise his labor ethic with a smile and split.

If you seek a fast-paced, dynamic environment and are a pragmatic developer with strong understanding, then you are replying to an ad.

If you have experience with methodology that leverages various roles, from conception to product delivery, then you will hate this job.

Must have skills do not necessarily outweigh nice-to-have skills.

The economy of innovation is invoked when existing businesses are going bust everywhere.

Dynamic strategies can use static tactics to orient direction towards an achievable result.

A wise businessman economizes by keeping his mistress on the payroll, wife in the kitchen and secretary in a pool.

Initial public offerings are given when celebrities are too busy to write their whole name for fans and must initial instead.

Coffee on Monday, tea on Tuesday, water with Wednesday, espresso for Thursday, all for beer on Friday.

Avoid liars except in matters of business.

Purchase managers are advised against buying comfortable furniture for the workplace.

The underdog thinks subvert the dominant paradigm. The top dog thinks dominate the subversive paradigm.

When you are totally committed to the success of the organization you will be laid off.

Work on what you want to and don't worry about managing resources.

You will troubleshoot a random high-priority bug on Monday.

If you see your employer advertising your exact job description on Craigslist, don't put in any unpaid overtime.

Polish your resume when you start despising the management.

Beware of people and companies going really fast in the wrong direction.

When condemned to work on a holiday for most start slowly, focus intensely, produce mightily, trail off early and socialize more than usual.

Surprisingly you cannot buy employees at The Employee Store.

When you are fundamentally all on the same page moving towards an abstraction model a counterexample will curse your implementation path.

Website autoplay audio will disrupt your Internet browsing at work.

You will not be able to find the recurring meeting you no longer attend that appears in your calendar app.