Capricia Penavic Marshall - Protocol: The Power of Diplomacy and How to Make It Work for You

Contents

The opinions and characterizations in this piece are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the US government.

PROTOCOL . Copyright 2020 by Capricia Penavic Marshall. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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Cover design by Allison Saltzman

Cover photograph Chuck Kennedy

FIRST EDITION

Digital Edition JUNE 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-284447-7

Version 05302020

Print ISBN: 978-0-06-284446-0

To my mother and father:

Thank you for the curiosity of difference, appreciation of all, and desire to reach beyond. And for your loving belief in me.

Contents

I f I told you there existed a single negotiation tool that would reduce confusion, stabilize an arbitration, strengthen your relationships, and give you the advantage, you would certainly want to learn it and use it. Protocolthe rules that govern professional, government, and social interactionsdoes all of this, and more. As someone who used protocol to fuel successful agreements between world leaders in my four years as chief of protocol for the Obama administrationand between dinner party guests and during grade-school auction meetingsI can say with authority that protocol is a legitimate superpower. During my four years as social secretary under President Clinton, I also became a big believer in etiquette and the potency of social engagement. All of these codes of conduct are becoming endangered today. In the halls of our government and in public discourse, protocol is too often being ignored, resulting in chaos and stalled progress; in business and everyday life protocol is underused, either out of neglect or because people do not understand its importance. The rules of social behavior matter so much that when they are not adhered to, the falloutin the form of cultural offenses, logistical misunderstandings, and missed opportunities to connectcan lead to a business deal destroyed, a family gathering gone wrong, or even war between nations.

What exactly is protocol? Protocol is a set of guidelines for social behavior, a framework for how to interact and communicate. In our personal lives, we have protocol for everything from walking (stay to the right on the sidewalk) to celebrating (invitations and toasts). In business, protocol can dictate seating (the CEO sits at the position of power), greetings (a strong handshake kicks off an introduction), and dress code (suit and tie or jeans and sneakers). And in government, protocol initiates the wheels of diplomacy, laying out a road map for every exchange, big or small, between diplomats and leaders. From the pomp and circumstance of arrival ceremonies to the seating for a bilateral, relationships are built and agreements are made within the defined and carefully curated structure of protocol.

Why is it so important to have a framework for diplomacy, guidelines for international greetings, or a process for exchanging gifts? Does it really make that big a difference if you serve food prohibited by a guests culture or bungle a toast with a German or Japanese client? Or if you sit in the wrong seat at a social dinner or board meeting? I cant reiterate enough that it does. And not simply because youve breached protocol or broken a rule. You have created a slight instead of conferring respect. You have put up an obstacle to connecting instead of moving swiftly along the intended path. No matter what your goal is in an interactionto persuade someone to see things your way or to leave that person intrigued and wanting moreyou first have to make a connection, and you cannot do that to the best of your ability without the elements of protocol.

When you ignore a cultural norm or mangle a title, the infraction goes deeper than the surfaceit affects the emotions of the participants and the tenor of their exchange. Getting a South American colleagues title wrong can make her feel diminished, meaning there is no longer an equal playing field for the interaction. Ignoring the hierarchy in a group of Asian colleagues and addressing the middle manager before the CEO sends the message that you did not care to learn about their cultural norms and that you have a disregard for their professional identities. Suddenly, what was to be a productive flow of communication and ideas becomes a slowed or even stalled interaction, with stops and starts and detours. You may also have unintentionally given rise to misperceptions about your own character and intentions, or introduced unnecessary defensiveness and confusion into the exchange. Not being savvy about the rules of engagement can also affect your performance: You may become more hesitant; not wanting to offend, you may withdraw into yourself and fail to make the critical connection you need.

Protocol also keeps us in line. Polite, civil behavior is the glue of a successful society. Kind and respectful exchanges have healthier outcomes. When we interact with people in a welcoming, dignified way, we are encouraging communication rather than shutting it down. And depending on our position and visibility, we are sending out signals for how others can and should behave. For governments, businesses, and personal relationships, our best chance of creating strong and enduring partnerships lies in understanding our counterpart and connecting with him or her. Even when your goal is mostly to persuadeas it often is in diplomacy or businessgetting that edge begins with forging or enhancing a relationship. We must learn who the other person is sitting across from us and also share who we are. We have to respect differences and find common ground. If we dont, someone elseanother country, another business, another individualwill step in and do it instead. Theres not a single nuclear summit, business meeting, or personal interaction that cant benefit from the tools of protocol and diplomacy.

When I entered the position of chief of protocol in 2009, I was stepping into a profoundly historic role, inheriting wisdom that had evolved over more than a thousand years. Protocol, in both its role and its etymology, has ancient roots. The word protocol is the combination of the ancient Greek words protos (first) and kollao (attach). In other words, it is something attached first, a reference to the first sheet of papyrus that would come at the beginning of an official missive. Quite literally, protocol means setting the stage for engagement.

The ancestors of our modern-day protocol officers (the diligent staff who work for and travel with the chief) were Greek heralds who would be sent to other city-states to make contact with ruling parties during wartime or to scout a future journey for a formal delegation. Heralds were guaranteed safe passage, even by a warring state, because of presumed protection by the gods (a qualification that I am sure many a protocol officer or ambassador today would appreciate). A herald returned with the preconditions for a short-term visit from an envoy. Envoys made frequent journeys to other city-states, but, unlike our modern ambassadors, they did not remain in a foreign land for an extended period.

Thereafter, the development of diplomatic protocol was tied closely to the evolution of Western Europe. In 1648, the Peace of Westphaliaa series of treaties between Europes warring factionscreated something we twenty-first-century folks take for granted: territorial sovereignty, meaning each leader was given complete governing control over his recognized territory. Foreign ministries and ambassador corps then arose across the continent to represent their territories and interests, traveling to and from the various nation-states.