Lynne Azarchi - The Empathy Advantage: Coaching Children to Be Kind, Respectful, and Successful

Lynne Azarchi is the executive director of Kidsbridge Tolerance Center outside of Trenton, New Jersey, a nonprofit organization dedicated to fostering bullying prevention, diversity appreciation, empathy, and empowerment for youth. She is a tireless advocate for improving the lives of at-risk youth in communities across New Jersey. Kidsbridge is the only evidence-based tolerance center in the United States dedicated to youth, with more than twenty-three hundred preschool, elementary, and middle school students improving their social-emotional skills each year. Visiting youth divide into small groups to discuss strategies for addressing bullying, cyberbullying, stereotypes, media literacy, UP-stander strategies, bias, diversity appreciation, and other related topics.

Azarchi graduated from Penn State University (BA in anthropology) and has an MBA in marketing/marketing research from Columbia University. She has won many awards and been published in both newspapers and academic journals. She is a frequent speaker at major educational group meetings, including the American Alliance of Museums, National Association for Media Literacy Association, and National Association for the Education of Young Children. She lives with her husband in Princeton Junction, New Jersey. To give back, she volunteers for many nonprofits in her community.

T here are so many people to thank. First, Id like to thank all the wonderful, kind people who have helped with or contributed to the nonprofit Kidsbridge Tolerance Center for more than eighteen years. I am surrounded night and day by selfless people and volunteers. They work long hours and make little money helping kids (many of them at risk), and they also energize adults to enhance empathy, self-compassion, and diversity appreciation, and teach kids to be UPstanders. They are rich with the joy of helping others.

I couldnt have helped so many kids, educators, and parents in New Jersey without the kind, thoughtful, and energetic help of the Kidsbridge staff, donors, and board of trustees, particularly Kidsbridges Education Committee. I am indebted to Dr. Harlene Galen for reviewing the manuscript for educational pedagogy and accuracy. Others who inspired me in empathy acumen are Kidsbridge educator Rebecca Erickson; Professor Yonty Friesem of Columbia College Chicago; and polymath Maurice Elias, director of the Rutgers Social-Emotional and Character Development Lab.

I want to express my gratitude to my agent, Maryann Karinch. This book wouldnt exist were it not for her curiosity and desire to be convinced that empathy could be taught. With my Kidsbridge experience under my belt, I was able to do just that. In addition, gratitude goes out to Suzanne Staszak-Silva of Rowman & Littlefield for recognizing the value and urgency of helping adults improve both their parenting and their teaching skills to empower the next generation toward greater kindness and respect. Shout-out to illustrator Caroline Blodi for her creative, fun illustrations.

I would like to give a shout-out to writers who inspired me. First is my father. I discovered after he passed away that, unbeknownst to me, he had penned a treasure trove of radio plays, poetry, song lyrics, and even a letter to Tennessee Williams. My father aimed high, was an insufferable Type A, and never resisted the urge for creative expression. I think I owe him a debt for the insatiable passion I have to write, accomplish, and help others. Gratitude also to the first obsessed writer I met in college; I still have his brilliant journals and they inspire me. Kudos to my writer friends who have inspired me with publications of their own (Dr. Liza Gold) and others, dauntless to share numerous pithy diatribes and rants on current events and history.

I also would like to thank Larry Hanover for helping me write this parent guide and inspiring me to share the stories I lived and know. A shout-out goes to Robin Levinson for recommending Larry. Gratitude goes to my mother, Evelyn, for unconditional love. And last but not least, Id like to thank both of my children, Rachel and Jake, my sister Karen, and particularly my husband, Steve, who supported my empathy quest, suffering my long hours over the years to research and write this book to help parents, caregivers, and teachers. By the way, Steve makes a mean pasta puttanesca.

For those looking for great resources to help teach empathy to a child, here are my favorites.

• Books That Teach Empathy (https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/books-that-teach-empathy)

  A great compilation of books for all ages that celebrate friendship, difference, and the importance of caring for one another.

• Brightly (https://www.readbrightly.com/)

  Provides information on books to get kids reading, including plenty that build empathy. Do yourself a favor and look up the book list How to Talk to Kids about Race: Books and Resources That Can Help.

• The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (https://casel.org)

  Resources from leading experts for everyone from researchers to teachers to parents.

• Empathy Library (https://www.empathylibrary.com)

  Connects you to inspiring books and films.

• Empathy Museum (http://www.empathymuseum.com/)

  Created in the United Kingdom, this organization creates pop-up museum exhibits that travel around the world. Visit the site for great podcasts where you can walk in others shoes.

• goodcharacter.com (https://www.goodcharacter.com/)

  A great site with curriculum, lesson plans, activities, programs, and resources for learning more about social emotional skills.

• Joel Sartores Photo Ark (https://www.joelsartore.com/photo-ark/)

  A few minutes on this exotic animal-filled site will generate tons of empathy for our planet and its live treasures.

• A Mighty Girl (https://www.amightygirl.com/)

  Provides books and resources for girls, including about indigenous girls.

• Social-Emotional and Character Development Lab (www.secdlab.org)

  The SECD labs website has excellent resources on social-emotional skills.

• Start Empathy (https://startempathy.org/)

  An initiative of Ashoka, a community dedicated to building childrens empathy, designed to encourage youth to be problem solvers and changemakers.

• Teaching Tolerance (https://www.tolerance.org/)

  A mainstay for educators and others passionate about tolerance.

• Common Sense Education (https://www.commonsense.org/education/)

  Go to the Digital Citizenship section for resources on information literacy in the digital age.

• National Association for Media Literacy (https://namle.net/)

  The go-to site for academics and practitioners.

• Media Literacy Now (https://medialiteracynow.org)

  Plenty of materials to help prepare young people to be thoughtful, safe, and effective consumers and creators of media.

• The Bully Project (http://www.thebullyproject.com/parents)

  Provides tips for parents on how to deal with their kids getting bullied.

• The Center for Parenting Education (https://centerforparentingeducation.org/)

  Lots of articles and resources to help families create a warm, caring home environment.

• Fred Rogers Center, near Pittsburgh (https://www.fredrogerscenter.org/)

  Fred Rogerss work carries on at the Fred Rogers Center; check out the archive!

• Parenting Science (https://www.parentingscience.com/)

  Helpful tips from evolutionary anthropologist Gwen Dewar on parenting.