Dr. Sandi Mann - Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter? How to Understand and Cope with Imposter Syndrome

Dr Sandi Mann is a Chartered Academic Psychologist and Senior Psychology Lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire where she teaches, amongst others areas, MSc Applied Clinical Psychology. She also has her own clinic specialising in the treatment of anxiety and depressive conditions such as phobias, panic attacks, obsessive compulsive disorder, trauma and sleep disorder. She has Certificate and Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and has completed full accredited training in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing). Dr Mann has authored over 20 psychology and self-help books and is invited to speak to audiences all over the world. She is also a regular contributor to various media outlets, including BBC Radio 4 and 5 and blogs for the Huffington Post.

This edition first published in the UK and USA in 2019 by

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ISBN: 978-1-78678-218-2

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CONTENTS

2 WHY SO MANY OF US BECOME IMPOSTERS
the role of society

3 WOMEN AT WORK
the birth of IS

4 MALE IMPOSTERS
the secret shame

5 THE SOCIAL IMPOSTER
imposters beyond the workplace

6 THE PARENT IMPOSTER
pressure to be the perfect mum or dad

7 THE IMPOSTER TEEN/STUDENT
the impact of academic and social pressures

INTRODUCTION

Imposter Syndrome: the belief that you are fraudulently claiming to be something you are not, that you are not as good as other people think you are. When I first came across the term as a psychology postgraduate I was convinced that someone must have had access to my secret thoughts the term described me so well! But then it transpired that most of my colleagues had come to the same conclusion and thought the term was created especially for them, and most of my social circle thought the same too. Could we really all be suffering from Imposter Syndrome? It turned out that we probably were or at least 70 per cent of us may have been, according to the research. For me, it was a wry moment of self-awareness on my continuing journey of self-discovery but after that I didnt really pay the concept more than fleeting attention every so often over the years as I built up my career as a psychologist.

Fast forward a couple of decades and the term Imposter Syndrome, or IS, has become much more significant to me because I have started to see it appear more and more in one guise or another in my private clinic. Seemingly successful people men, women, and often teenagers too, are presenting with symptoms of this condition and they are convinced that they are the only ones who have it.

IS seems to be a rising phenomenon and in this book I explore the varied reasons including social media and increased testing in schools to name just two for its rapid growth. IS also no longer seems to be restricted to ambitious and successful careerists, as once was thought I see a variety of types of the syndrome in my clinic, such as the mother who feels she is not a good enough parent, the dad who feels he is not man enough, the friend who believes they are not popular enough, and even the religious person who feels they are not good enough for their god.

The first steps to managing IS, which can be very debilitating in terms of self-confidence and self-esteem as well being harmful to career progression, are to recognize and understand it, and learn to spot its triggers, and this is what I have set out to achieve with this book. Only from this position of understanding can we look for the best strategies for each of us to use, and I suggest a range of appropriate coping techniques throughout the book.

Who is this book for?

Anyone who thinks they may be experiencing IS, whether that be within work, home, family or community life

Anyone who thinks their partner, a family member, friend or child is experiencing IS

Parents who want to minimize the chances of their own children succumbing to IS

Anyone else who is interested in the imposter phenomenon

What will you gain from this book?

With a mixture of information, self-assessment quizzes and helpful coping tips and strategies, this book will help you to understand if you (or someone close to you) has IS and, if so, what you can do about it. It aims to make you more confident in your abilities at work, home or elsewhere and, above all, will help you to realize that you are not alone if you experience IS and that it can be managed.

How to use this book

The first two chapters are essential reading for everyone as together we explore what Imposter Syndrome is and why it occurs so widely, and learn about some of its different subtypes. There are also two quizzes to help you understand if you are experiencing it. The following five chapters explore IS in relation to specific groups of people, and in specific social settings. Although these chapters are built around these groups, they are useful for all readers. Finally, a short concluding chapter draws together what we have learned and offers some insight into how you can most usefully take this forward into your own life.

Throughout each chapter you will find case studies that illustrate real-life examples of people experiencing IS. Read these to see just how the syndrome really can be found in all walks of life I hope they will encourage any sufferers to identify IS within themselves as a first step on the way to swapping their self-doubt for self-confidence.

At the end of are tips and strategies on coping with IS and building that self-confidence. Some of these are specific to the group discussed in that chapter, but most are applicable to everyone, so be sure to read them all in order to get the most out of this book.

Sakulku, J (2011). The Impostor Phenomenon (PDF). International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6 (1), 7392

CHAPTER 1

WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME?

When Jess came into my clinic in Manchester she looked every inch the successful woman. Immaculately groomed, wearing a sharp suit and sporting an equally sharp haircut, accomplishment oozed from her every pore. A 42-year-old senior executive in a large international corporation, she had the salary, the car and all the perks that spelled made it.

So, why was she at my clinic? As she sank into a comfortable chair and began to explain her problem, her demeanour underwent a transformation. Her shoulders began to slump, her voice wavered, her knees shook and her fingers began twisting around each other as she talked. Her entire confident manner crumbled before my eyes as she confessed that it was all fake; all of her successes were built on luck, she explained, and she was actually really bad at her job. While she had managed to pull the wool over the eyes of her colleagues and bosses for many years, she was sure they would uncover her secret soon. She stood to lose everything, but that wasnt even the biggest problem; the greater issue was that she was struggling to live with being a fake she felt that she should quit her job before she was exposed, and go and do something more suited to her real abilities. It would mean less money and perks, but at least she would be being honest with herself.