Copyright 2008 by James Patterson
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group, USA
237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroupUSA.com.
First eBook Edition: October 2008
ISBN: 978-0-316-03965-9
To the Angels
To Dr. Ruth Bruun, the angel who pulled us up when our own wings were broken. Your dedication to all of your patients who have struggled with Tourettes syndrome cannot be measured, and you are loved and renowned for your profound wisdom and very great heart.
And to Jessie, our daughter, who weathered a childhood filled with great sadness and great inspiration. And yes, one day we will go to Disneyland.
Hal and Sophia Friedman
Corys Dedication
In my thirteen-year search for help, I traveled to places far from home and met many people, young and old, with medical conditions so extreme that I could not have imagined they existed.
I will never forget these special friends and their heroic battles with the phantoms that inhabited their minds.
I understand them, and they understand me.
I hope that this account of my life, which in many ways might be similar to theirs, will give them and others like them a measure of comfort and hope. And Im grateful to my father and to James Patterson for helping to tell my story to the many people who might benefit from it.
To those like me, who are forced to travel a road that few others can even conceive of, I wish you peace, and a way home.
Cory Friedman
ONE MORNING in MARCH of 1989, just before my fifth birthday, I woke up as a normal, healthy boy. By that afternoon, I had an irresistible urge to shake my head continually and the course of my life changed in ways few people had ever seen or could begin to understand.
Before long, my body became an explosive, volatile, and unpredictable force with a mind and personality of its own. It jerked and twisted, bent in half, and gyrated without warning until I was almost always in motion.
I bit down on my teeth until I actually broke them and howled in pain because of the exposed nerves.
I twisted my back around with such force that I tore muscle tissue and had to be drugged asleep to stop myself from doing it.
My mind fed me thoughts so frightening I couldnt even talk about them to my parents.
It didnt take long before I saw myself as the oddest person in my town. I felt like a boy on the end of a puppeteers string.
What made it even worse was knowing that I was also the puppeteer.
This is the story of Cory Friedman, and what follows is his remarkable journey, a story of triumph against all odds.
I met Hal Friedman in 1975 in New York City, at the J. Walter Thompson advertising agency, where we were both writers. We never imagined then that more than thirty years later, we would collaborate to write a book about Hals sons heart-wrenching experiences.
Over the years, I would hear about Cory and his devastating struggle with Tourettes syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and anxiety disorder. But until Hal asked me to read an early draft he had written of Corys story, I had no idea how severe a torment this lovely family had been living through. I knew that his complex condition was nearly impossible to treat. In fact, thirteen doctors and approximately sixty potent medicines after Corys first traumatic head shakes, his debilitating symptoms were still unchecked.
When the downward spiral of his symptoms led to severe depression and hopelessness, and when all of Corys doctors and their advice and medicines had proved to be false hopes, Corys family staged an intervention that was as daring as anything that had preceded it, maybe even more so.
I was drawn to Corys harrowing story because of what it says about the power of love, courage, and determination, and I was proud to join Hal in writing it. I knew that Corys story had to be told because it would give hope and comfort to so many others struggling in all walks of life. Cory was in a living hell, but in climbing out, he showed us that it is possible to survive and even thrive against unbelievable odds. For me, that makes him a hero.
Hal and I are honored to bring you Against Medical Advice on Corys behalf. My hope is that you, too, will be inspired by the courage, heartbreak, sacrifice, and ultimate victory of Cory Friedman and his family, and by the sheer invincibility of the human spirit.
James Patterson
THE EVENTS RECOUNTED HERE took place over what seemed like to those of us who lived it an endless thirteen-year period covering Corys life from age five to age seventeen. We decided, with Corys blessing, to tell his story in his own voice, because this conveys most powerfully what it was like for Cory to live through these experiences.
Some names and other identifying details of friends, doctors, and medical institutions have been changed.
The extremely unusual events portrayed in this story have been reconstructed from Corys own accounts, from detailed medical diaries that were kept by his mother throughout the period, and from direct family observations. Cory confirms that this narrative presents an accurate portrait of his life story.
Over the four years it took to write this book, I was continuously tormented by the decision of whether or not to make the most intimate details of Corys life public. Finally, I went to Cory for the guidance I needed, and he resolved the issue in a single sentence, without hesitation:
If it will help other people like me, yes.
Hal Friedman
A LOST CHILDHOOD
At the Edge of Madness
IM SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD and lying like a pathetic, helpless lump in the backseat of our family car, being transported to a place that treats crazy people.
This is an exceptional event, even for me. I know that my brain causes unusual problems that no one has been able to treat, but being insane isnt one of them.
How and why Ive gotten to this point is complicated, but the main reason Im here is more immediate. Ive finally found the one thing that brings me peace alcohol.
Now this self-medication has become a life-threatening danger that I cannot fix by myself. The doctors at the place Im going to promise they can help me. Ive heard that one before.
After about an hour, we arrive at a large brick building with a sign that reads DRESSLER PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL. In a split second the reality of whats happening becomes very real and very scary.
Why does it say that? I call from the backseat, my heart suddenly pounding.
Dont worry about the sign, my mother says to calm my rising panic. They treat all different kinds of problems here, Cory.
Dad looks as worried as I am but says softly, Lets not deal with this now, okay?
Not deal with going to a hospital for psychos? Sure, no problem. What can my father be thinking?
Inside the main entrance, I enter a very crowded, somewhat noisy waiting room. Being on view always makes me uneasy, so as soon as I start to walk, my feet need to perform a triple hop, three quick steps only inches apart, which throws me off balance.
I have to do this in order to satisfy a tension that is building up in my legs and cant be released any other way. Sometimes this trips me up so much that I go flying to the ground.