Lillian Glass - The Body Language Advantage: Maximize Your Personal and Professional Relationships with this Ultimate Photo Guide to Deciphering What Others Are Secretly Saying, in Any Situation

Maximize Your Personal and Professional Relationships with This Ultimate Photo Guide to Deciphering What Others Are Secretly Saying, in Any Situation

LILLIAN GLASS, PH.D.

BEST-SELLING AUTHOR OF
TOXIC PEOPLE

We live in the most amazing age when, in so many ways, life has become easy. Gone are the days of going to the library and searching for the books we need to give us the information we seek. We no longer have to wait in long lines to do our banking, pay our bills, buy a movie ticket, or pay for clothes we purchase. Now we can quickly do all these things and acquire anything we want from groceries to insurance and even find a relationship or a job just by pressing a few keys on a computer.

Things have become so easy and immediate that we dont even have to physically see or speak to anyone. Instead we can email, text, or instant-message them. But life does not exist on the Internet alone.

A great deal of life happens offline, where you must look at and listen to people face to face. Unfortunately, many of us are out of practice when it comes to face-to-face communication because of the technology today. If you dont know what others are really saying, you probably will misinterpret or even ignore the true message they are trying to communicate.

For instance, sometimes a person may say something that sounds harmless or benign, such as, Thats really great. But if the person makes this seemingly innocuous statement with an attacking burst of loudness on the word great, he may mean something entirely different than you thought. His tone of voice could indicate sarcasm and mean the exact opposite.

If he exhibits a fistlike hand gesture, a stiff posture with a half-smile, and clenched jaw, you can bet he is angry. Now the comment Thats really great takes on a different meaning.

But if you dont pay close attention to his vocal tone or body and facial language, you would perceive that all is well and nothing is wrong, when in fact there is something wrong and the speaker is obviously upset.

If you dont pay attention to communication patterns and body language, you will misread the message that people are trying to convey and place yourself at a huge disadvantage in your professional, interpersonal, and intimate relationships. Reading people appropriately allows you to direct the communication toward your advantage. It can make the difference between getting a job, closing a business deal, maintaining a friendship, and saving a marriage.

The body doesnt lie and neither do voice or speech patterns. If you know how to read others, you truly have an added advantage over others. All relationships ebb and flowif you can read what is really going on, you can help thwart potential problems.

For instance, you may hear your wife swallow her words at the end of a sentence so that they are inaudible as she tells you that everything is fine. But you will know that everything is not fine when you hear her monotone and observe her deadpan facial expression and leaning away from you as she speaks these words. Picking up on cues like these gives you the opportunity to open a dialogue about what is bothering herperhaps youre spending too much time with your golfing buddies and not enough with her.

Reading body language and listening to vocal cues can help you figure out whether your spouse or lover is being faithful or whether the hottie youve been chatting up really likes you or is just being polite. Wouldnt it be great to know that there are certain body language tellssignals that involve the feet, hands, the way people lean or dont lean toward youthat let you know whether to keep talking or start walking?

Whether it is buying a car, venturing into a business deal, or dating someone who hasnt told you that he is married and has a house full of kids, one of the worst feelings is finding out that you have been conned, ripped off, or taken advantage of.

Its human nature to want to trust people. When they breach that trust it can be emotionally and financially devastating. Think back to a time when a particular person cheated you. In retrospect, were there any signals that may have told you something was amiss? Maybe he talked too much and too fast or went off on tangents. Maybe he stared at you without breaking eye contact. Maybe he was over the top in his compliments or too pushy and intimidating. Maybe his heel was off the ground and his toes were pointed toward the exit? Perhaps you noticed some of these signs but thought nothing of them at the time.

We have heard tragic stories about women who got involved with men married to several women simultaneously who were leading multiple lives. After these men are apprehended, the stories are similar: Victims report the red flags raised by the mens body language, facial expressions, what they said, and how they said itbut they either deliberately or subconsciously ignored these warnings. In the first chapter, Ill talk about the science behind listening to your instincts and how it can help you avoid situations like these.

How many people are shocked when they are fired or let go and never saw it coming? But looking back they see that there were body language signs that the boss or his assistant transmitted that indicated their time at the company was coming to an end. Maybe the assistant suddenly began to look down when talking to them or the boss started speaking in harsh staccato tones and furrowing his brow when addressing them. Perhaps if they had read these signals they would have been less surprised and better prepared for their inevitable exit.

Similarly, you could avoid getting your hopes up after a job interview and waiting for that never-to-come phone call if you had noticed that the interviewer barely looked at you, leaned back, took calls while you were there, and gave you a limp handshake and tight-lipped half-smile as she said, Nice to meet you. Well be in touch.

Having the Body Language Advantage is essential in our competitive environment where jobs are scarce and relationships are often fragile and fleeting. Knowing how to read others can make the essential difference in the quality of your life.

You can also gain a more accurate picture of what is going on in the news, from celebrities to politicians to sports figures, by having the Body Language Advantage. You will now be able to see whether these newsmakers are lying or telling the truth. You will be able to determine how they really feel about the people with whom they share relationships.

You will be able to see how certain political figures feel about one another and whether they mean what they say while they campaign for a particular office or are just reciting meaningless rhetoric. Are they merely reading lines written for them or speaking from their heart?

You will be able to quickly analyze whether someone involved in a scandal is telling the truth or spinning a tale. You may even be able to tell which sports team may win a game based on how well the players interact or dont interact with one another.

On another level, knowing how to read people can save your life and the lives of those you love. In an age when people commit desperate criminal acts and terrorism is on everyones mind, it is essential to pay close attention to how people around you stand, walk, and talk. Doing so can provide you with clues as to whether you are in danger and allow you to make the decision to take appropriate action to ensure your safety and well-being. This book can help you do just that.