Robert Harris - Dictator

58 BC -47 BC

Nescire autem quid ante quam natus sis acciderit, id est semper esse puerum. Quid enim est aetas hominis, nisi ea memoria rerum veterum cum superiorum aetate contexitur?

To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child. For what is the worth of human life, unless it is woven into the life of our ancestors by the records of history?

Cicero, Orator , 46 BC

I remember the cries of Caesars war-horns chasing us over the darkened fields of Latium their yearning, keening howls, like animals on heat and how when they stopped there was only the slither of our shoes on the icy road and the urgent panting of our breath.

It was not enough for the immortal gods that Cicero should be spat at and reviled by his fellow citizens; not enough that in the middle of the night he be driven from the hearths and altars of his family and ancestors; not enough even that as we fled from Rome on foot he should look back and see his house in flames. To all these torments they deemed it necessary to add one further refinement: that he should be forced to hear his enemys army striking camp on the Field of Mars.

Even though he was the oldest of our party Cicero kept up the same fast pace as the rest of us. Not long ago he had held Caesars life in the palm of his hand. He could have crushed it as easily as an egg. Now their fortunes led them in entirely opposite directions. While Cicero hurried south to escape his enemies, the architect of his destruction marched north to take command of both provinces of Gaul.

He walked with his head down, not uttering a word and I imagined it was because he was too full of despair to speak. Only at dawn, when we rendezvoused with our horses at Bovillae and were about to embark on the second stage of our escape, did he pause with his foot in the doorway of his carriage and say suddenly, Do you think we should turn back?

The question caught me by surprise. I dont know, I said. I hadnt considered it.

Well, consider it now. Tell me: why are we fleeing Rome?

Because of Clodius and his mob.

And why is Clodius so powerful?

Because hes a tribune and can pass laws against you.

And who made it possible for him to become a tribune?

I hesitated. Caesar.

Exactly. Caesar. Do you imagine that mans departure for Gaul at that precise hour was a coincidence? Of course not! He waited till his spies had reported Id left the city before ordering his army to move. Why? Id always assumed his advancement of Clodius was to punish me for speaking out against him. But what if his real aim all along was to drive me out of Rome? What scheme requires him to be certain Ive gone before he can leave too?

I should have grasped the logic of what he was saying. I should have urged him to turn back. But I was too exhausted to reason clearly. And if I am honest there was more to it than that. I was too afraid of what Clodiuss thugs might do to us if they caught us re-entering the city.

So instead I said, Its a good question, and I cant pretend I have the answer. But wouldnt it look indecisive, after bidding goodbye to everyone, suddenly to reappear? In any case, Clodius has burned your house down now where would we return to? Who would take us in? I think youd be wiser to stick to your original plan and get as far away from Rome as you can.

He rested his head against the side of the carriage and closed his eyes. In the pale grey light I was shocked by how haggard he appeared after his night on the road. His hair and beard had not been cut for weeks. He was wearing a toga dyed black. Although he was only in his forty-ninth year, these public signs of mourning made him look much older like some ancient, mendicant holy man. After a while he sighed. I dont know, Tiro. Perhaps youre right. Its so long since I slept Im too tired to think any more.

And so the fatal error was made more through indecision than decision and we continued to press on southwards for the remainder of that day and for the twelve days that followed, putting what we thought was a safe distance between ourselves and danger.

We travelled with a minimal entourage to avoid attracting attention just the carriage driver and three armed slaves on horseback, one in front and two behind. A small chest of gold and silver coins that Atticus, Ciceros oldest and closest friend, had provided to pay for our journey was hidden under our seat. We stayed only in the houses of men we trusted, no more than a night in each, and steered clear of those places where Cicero might have been expected to stop for example at his seaside villa at Formiae, the first place any pursuers would look for him, and along the Bay of Naples, already filling with the annual exodus from Rome in search of winter sun and warm springs. Instead we headed as fast as we could towards the toe of Italy.

Ciceros plan, conceived on the move, was to make for Sicily and stay there until the political agitation against him in Rome subsided. The mob will turn on Clodius eventually, he predicted. Such is the unalterable nature of the mob. He will always be my mortal enemy but he wont always be tribune we must never forget that. In nine months his term of office will expire and then we can go back.

He was confident of a friendly reception from the Sicilians, if only because of his successful prosecution of the islands tyrannical governor, Verres even though that brilliant victory, which launched his political career, was now twelve years in the past and Clodius had more recently been a magistrate in the province. I sent letters ahead giving notice of his intention to seek sanctuary, and when we reached the harbour at Regium we hired a little six-oared boat to row us across the straits to Messina.

We left the harbour on a clear cold winter morning of searing blues the sea and the sky; one light, one dark; the line dividing them as sharp as a blade; the distance to Messina a mere three miles. It took us less than an hour. We drew so close we could see Ciceros supporters lined up on the rocks to welcome him. But stationed between us and the entrance to the port was a warship flying the red and green colours of the governor of Sicily, Gaius Vergilius, and as we approached the lighthouse it slipped its anchor and moved slowly forwards to intercept us. Vergilius stood at the rail surrounded by his lictors and, after visibly recoiling at Ciceros dishevelled appearance, shouted down a greeting, to which Cicero replied in friendly terms. They had known one another in the Senate for many years.

Vergilius asked him his intentions.

Cicero called back that naturally he intended to come ashore.

Thats what Id heard, replied Vergilius. Unhappily I cant allow it.

Why not?

Because of Clodiuss new law.

And what new law would that be? There are so many, one loses count.

Vergilius beckoned to a member of his staff who produced a document and leaned down to pass it to me and I then gave it to Cicero. To this day I can remember how it fluttered in his hands in the slight breeze as if it were a living thing; it was the only sound in the silence. He took his time and when he had finished reading it he handed it to me without comment.