Eliezer Yudkowsky - A Girl Corrupted by the Internet is the Summoned Hero?!

My family name is Yugano . My given name is Yuuki . I have no redeeming qualities.

The boys I meet fail to interest me, and I haven't kissed any of them. This is because the Internet has ruined my way of looking at the world.

In the beginning, seeing pics of a muscular man with no shirt was enough to make me breathe faster. If I came across a picture of a man being nude, I would flinch away in horror.

Over time, I moved on to pictures of nude men, then two men doing things to one another. As I became numb to one perversion, I had to find something more extreme to arouse my interest. Now I have no interest in normal forms of youthful misbehavior.

You say I should have refrained? Back then I was too young to know better, and now this untouched maiden has been so thoroughly ruined that I might as well go further.

I blame the government and my parents. In the very beginning, they should have stopped that innocent girl from seeing perverted things online.

Now I spend hours every day browsing the Internet, doing you-know-what to myself.

At this point I'd like to deliver a sharp remark about how stories depict being transported to another world. You know the scene I'm talking about: the Hero arrives surrounded by holy clerics casting the Summoning Spell, with well-dressed royalty and future adventuring companions looking on.

In every one of those cases, the Summoning catches the Hero at a time when the Hero is standing up and fully dressed.

Is this realistic? Would a Hero be Summoned only at such a convenient time? I bet you spend much of your day sitting down. If the Summoning caught you then, wouldn't you materialize unsupported, and fall on your ass?

Imagine being a Hero being transported while they're on the toilet. They materialize in a sitting position with their underwear around their ankles, then fall over with their knees still bent and pants down. Their butt hasn't been wiped, and it leaves a smear on the ground. Maybe the Summoned Hero is right in the middle of pooping out a big one.

What happened to me was even more embarrassing than that.

It involved my usual Internet habits.

That was the first step of my journey into another world.

The cold was my first startling observation. A chill wind bit into my exposed thighs and unmentionables like like a very cold knife. I'm sorry, I'm distracted right now and can't think up a clever metaphor.

The next thing my eyes saw was the other people staring at my vulnerable body. There were five adults in white robes holding up their staves, silver halos glowing above their heads. Beyond them, a dirty old man in leather and chains - no, I mean leather armor and chainmail, don't misunderstand me, and when I say 'dirty' I mean that he had stains on his armor.

Next to the old warrior, a young lad my age with a sword belted at his side, with a clean and finely made shirt. He was looking away from me and wringing his hands like an eight-year-old girl who just saw a crayon drawing of private parts.

Around me, a circle of huge standing stones.

Beyond that, walls of grass, the slopes of rising hills.

And below me, a circular stone plate inscribed with curves in a fading silver glow.

Immediately after I arrived, there was a lot of shrieking you know, let's not talk about this. I'm choosing to repress these memories for the rest of my life. Let's skip to the part where somebody has given me a towel-like cloth to hold around myself.

So there I am, standing, wrapped in a towel; aside from that my surroundings are as previously specified.

I have many issues with this. I am setting aside my issues and listening to the words of the white-robed mage with the brightest halo. I think this part might be important.

Yugano Yuuki, the white mage intones, you have been Summoned here to overturn the greatest evil of this world, the Wicked Emperor.

The old warrior in chain-mail speaks up. How is this girl supposed to do that, exactly? Is there more to her than is apparent?

I have similar questions, I say. I'd better have arrived here with some incredible cheat-like advantage, or this world is amazingly doomed.

That's impossible for me to know, but she is certainly the Summoned Hero, says the mage.

Could there have been an error in the Summoning Spell? asks chainmail-wearer. And if so, is it too late to send her back and get another one? He looks back at me. No offense, but it's for the sake of everyone.

None taken.

The white mage casts a glance in my direction. The Spell can only be worked once every three hundred years, in a certain place. But this Great Summoning Spell we have just cast should, without fail, have selected the Hero with the best chance to overturn the Wicked Emperor who has cruelly subjugated half the world.

That's some convenient exposition, but I'll excuse it since you're stating it for my sake.

Maybe our best chance of defeating the Wicked Emperor still isn't good? Again warrior-guy echoes my own thoughts. Even leaving aside the condition in which she arrived, I would expect the most skilled person to be older, or in the prime of their adulthood.

The white-clad mages glance at one another, looking concerned. There's a divination that's itself part of the Summoning Spell, says another mage, a woman. To state it clearly, if the Summoned Hero is the person with the greatest probability of defeating the Wicked Emperor, then the Spell itself must determine that probability. Traditionally the probability isn't observed since then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, but in this case The white mage grimaces. She doesn't seem like the Hero we were expecting. I agree we ought to check what the Spell determined as her probability of victory.