Rebecca West - Happy Starts at Home: Change your space, transform your life

happy starts AT home

happy starts AT home

CHANGE YOUR SPACE,
TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

REBECCA WEST

Published in 2020 by CICO Books

An imprint of Ryland Peters & Small Ltd

2021 Jockeys Fields 341 E 116th St

London WC1R 4BW New York, NY 10029

www.rylandpeters.com

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Text Rebecca West 2020

Design and photography CICO Books

and Ryland Peters and Small 2020

The authors moral rights have been asserted. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress and the British Library.

eISBN: 978-1-78249-913-8
ISBN: 978-1-78249-845-2

Printed in China

Designer: Geoff Borin

Photographer: for all photography credits, see

Commissioning editor: Kristine Pidkameny

In-house editor: Anna Galkina

Art director: Sally Powell

Head of production: Patricia Harrington

Publishing manager: Penny Craig

Publisher: Cindy Richards

CONTENTS

Being happy at home isnt about having a Pinterest-perfect space or expensive furnishings. Its about having a home that works for you, supports your dreams, and helps you feel secure.

Its not about buying or not buying a new sofa.
Its about whether your home is working for you.

Your home can be the key to better health, better sleep, better relationships, and an all-round better life. Your home can also lock you into a damaging relationship, drain your energy, and devour your money. Every choice you make about your home influences your life. With every dollar you spend on your home, you cast a vote for the kind of life you wish to live: what you value, how you will be treated, and whom you will let in. Its that powerful! If youre like me, you are highly affected by your environment. In a messy room we feel frustrated, stressed, even out of control.

We crave the beauty and calm depicted in glossy home decorating magazinesnot just because the pictures are pretty, but because we imagine that if we could just get our homes close to that ideal, wed enjoy less stressful, more contented lives. The truth is your home can directly improve your well-being and contentment. It can help decrease your stress level and increase your happiness. But not necessarily by looking like the cover of an interior design magazine. This book is about using your home as a tool to make change happen in your life.

getting started

I became a designer by chance, not by, well, design. Nearly a decade ago I found myself divorced and living in a house that constantly reminded me of my failed marriage. I got tired of living somewhere that reverberated with sadness, loss, and defeat. After about six months of feeling stuck, I repainted the walls and completely refurnished the house (and it didnt take buckets of money). Heres what I discovered: Changing what I saw around me transformed how I saw my future. And that change thrilled me. While I hadnt moved physically, I had moved on psychologically.

I started my design company, Seriously Happy Homes, because I am passionate about helping people experience the transformative power of the home. I feel a special connection to those who are in life transition or who may feel blocked, frustrated, or trapped, like I once did. So, while I did go back to school to earn a degree in interior design, I didnt start my company out of a love for design per se. I started it to help people use their home as a tool for change. To this day I dont really care whether you buy a new sofa. I do care that your home is working for you. I want to share with you the tools you need to create your own happy home. Its not about copying design trends. Its about figuring out what you need from your home, and then identifying how to make your home work for you.

first, lets ask why

A lot of books out there tell you how to declutter, decorate, and design your home, but many skip the most important questionwhy? Why have you decided to change something about your home? Why spend your time, money, and energy decorating or remodeling? What outcome do you seek?

Maybe the answers seem obvious to you, but let me probe a little more deeply: Who are you making changes for? What do you hope will happen by making these changes and spending this money? What outcome must be realized for all of the expense, stress, and time to have been worth it? How will you know youve succeeded? If you havent really examinedand answeredthe important questions before diving into a home remodel or decorating project, you may:

End up with a beautifully remodeled kitchen that fails to function for your family.

Start out strong but eventually lose motivation and remain stuck in a cluttered, shabby, dysfunctional home.

Create a picture-perfect home but realize that nothing has really changed in your life.

When we arent driven by a clear and internal motivating factor to implement change, the change (if we achieve it at all) rarely lasts. Like a person who loses weight to please someone else or who loses it too quickly and gains it all right back, your house ends up (or stays) out of shape. The answer to Why should you invest in your home? is this: You shouldnt! Not unless that investment results in a home in which you feel more carefree, confident, and cared for, and not unless you know why you (not your mom or your sister or your friend) will be happier as a result.

When we know how we want to use a space and how it should make us feel, we can make informed and intentional decisions about what to buy to meet those goals.

Heres a personal example of a positive life outcome. When I married for the second time, my fianc and I decided that if we were going to spend thousands on a wedding, we might as well get something long lasting from it (I mean, besides a marriage, of course!). We enjoy hosting parties and barbecues, and we also have a passion for ballroom dance and dreamed of hosting dancing parties and lessons at our home. Inside, our modest house could accommodate, at most, about a dozen people, but outside, our giant weedy-sloped backyard was ripe with potential. We decided to host the wedding at our home and invest in revamping the backyard into a terraced entertaining space. In the year after our wedding, we hosted another half-dozen outdoor soires, including a zombie-apocalypse emergency planning party and an auction for my local Toastmasters club. That was the prize on which wed kept our eye the whole time we were neck deep in wedding and remodeling chaos. We stuck with it because we knew wed end up with an outdoor space that suited our lives. Visualizing our goal helped us keep perspective and make good long-term decisions. And because we understood our end goal, our why, we ended up with a space that really did enrich our lives.