Now let us issue from the darkness of solitude. Virginia Woolf,
ELEMENTAL
I brought what I knew about the world to my daily life and it failed me. I brought senseless accidents and a depravity sprung inside the jaw.
Also I brought what I had learned of love, an air of swift entrance and exit, a belief in trouble and desire. It will amount to something I was told, and I was told to hold fast to decency, to be spotlit and confident. I was told next years words await another voice. But you are a hard mouth to speak to and if I write the list it will be free of constancy. It will include fierce birds, false springs, a few oil lamps that need quickly to be lit. Also dusk and weeds and a sleep that permits utter oblivion from our stranded century.
This is not a natural world, and if there are recoveries from confusion, they pass like rains. I dont look to the robins for solace; neither do I trust that to make an end is to make a beginning. If we are not capable of company, we can at least both touch the quartet inside evening, the snow inside the willow, the bewildering kinship of ice and sky. But as I walked I saw crows ripping at shapes on the street, a square of sunlight flare on the roof. Take my hand, if only here and not in the time that remains for us to spend together. We will stand and watch the most delicate weathers move, second by second, through the grim neighborhood.
I will lean into you, who have loved me in your way, knowing where you are and what you care for.
THE GRAVES
So here are the strange feelings that flicker in you or anchor like weights in your eyes. Turn back and you might undo them, the way trees seem to float free of themselves as they root. A swan can hold itself on the gray ice water and not waver, an open note upon which minor chords blur and rest. But it was born dark. The shore of that lake is littered with glass.
How you came to be who you are was all unwinding, aimless on a bike, off to retrieve a parcel that could only be a gift, and felt, as a child, the sea weave around your feet, white light rushing in with the surf. What lived there? Joy, dispatched from nowhere, and no need to think about your purpose, and no fear that the sun gliding down might burn the earth it feeds. Black habitat of now in which decimation looks tender. Sometimes the call of a bird is so clear it bruises my hands. At night, behind glass, light empties out then fills a room and the people in it, hovering around a fire, gorgeous shapes of wind leaning close to each other in laughter. From this distance, they are a grace, an ache.
The kingdom inside.
TOWARD WHAT ISLAND-HOME AM I MOVING
Toward what island-home am I moving, not wanting to marry, nor wanting too much of that emptiness at evening, as when I walked through a field at dusk and felt wide in the night. And it was again the evening that drew me back to the field where I was most alone, compassed by stems and ruts, no light of the fixed stars, no flashing in the eyes, only heather pared by dry air, shedding a small feathered radiance when I looked away, an expanse whose deep sleep seemed an unending warren I had been given, to carry out such tasks that I might find
nothing dead. And it was again the evening that drew me back to the field where I could sense no boundary the smell of dry earth, cool arch of my neck, the darkness entirely within myself. And when I shut my eyes there was no one. Only weeds in drifts of stillness, only stalks and gliding sky.
Come, black anchor, let us not be harmed. The deer leafing in the dark. The old man at the table, unable to remember. The children whose hunger is just hunger, and never desire.
BLIZZARD
Two deer in the crosswalk Who kept watch over their confusion Who saw the snow vanish before touching the ground Who kept watch when having not fed its own people the town turned ice-white Snow fell that day as it falls constantly through sleep lush drumming to nothing waves of hard silver Now it descends into the white darkness of your privacy and you awake to the boreal century that is yours Your rib-stick animals Your exhausted men Wind woodsmoke and ice spilling blind on the bird whose wings blow lightly apart On a man in a cotton jacket awake under wet squares of cardboard Who keeps watch when that wind shocks the frozen parking lot asphalt Have you come to buy bread Have you come to buy meat Scarce living in the town that now skims the lake of your privacy where in summer you loll on the slats of the jetty And the long summer dusk your feet kicking up waves A water now fully rock Ice-sheet of the north, who peers under that surface Who looks without blame at the ones by the electric doors of the store Feels the far-flung cities of dawn Or wearies of suffering You asked to live among others and here you are living A snowflake is unlike a night-flying moth The cabin by the lake is a shelter for your limbs which are constantly warm Concerning the white star that sometimes flashes above the snowy gray town I have heard it will soon have no message