• Complain

Handler - Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!

Here you can read online Handler - Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too! full text of the book (entire story) in english for free. Download pdf and epub, get meaning, cover and reviews about this ebook. year: 2019, publisher: Random House Publishing Group, genre: Art. Description of the work, (preface) as well as reviews are available. Best literature library LitArk.com created for fans of good reading and offers a wide selection of genres:

Romance novel Science fiction Adventure Detective Science History Home and family Prose Art Politics Computer Non-fiction Religion Business Children Humor

Choose a favorite category and find really read worthwhile books. Enjoy immersion in the world of imagination, feel the emotions of the characters or learn something new for yourself, make an fascinating discovery.

Handler Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!
  • Book:
    Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!
  • Author:
  • Publisher:
    Random House Publishing Group
  • Genre:
  • Year:
    2019
  • Rating:
    3 / 5
  • Favourites:
    Add to favourites
  • Your mark:
    • 60
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    • 5

Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!: summary, description and annotation

We offer to read an annotation, description, summary or preface (depends on what the author of the book "Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!" wrote himself). If you haven't found the necessary information about the book — write in the comments, we will try to find it.

The funny, sad, super-honest, all-true story of Chelsea Handlers year of self-discoveryfeaturing a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, a shaman, four Chow Chows, some well-placed security cameras, various family members (living and departed), friends, assistants, and a lot of edibles.
This will be one of your favorite books of all time. Through her intensely vulnerable, honest, and hilarious reflection Chelsea shows us more than just her insides. She shows us ourselves.Amy Schumer
In a haze of vape smoke on a rare windy night in L.A. in the fall of 2016, Chelsea Handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. And then, Donald Trump happens. In a torpor of despair, she decides that shes had enough of the privileged bubble shes lived ina bubble within a bubbleand that its time to make some changes, both in her personal life and in the world at large.
At home, she embarks on a year of...

Handler: author's other books


Who wrote Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!? Find out the surname, the name of the author of the book and a list of all author's works by series.

Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too! — read online for free the complete book (whole text) full work

Below is the text of the book, divided by pages. System saving the place of the last page read, allows you to conveniently read the book "Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!" online for free, without having to search again every time where you left off. Put a bookmark, and you can go to the page where you finished reading at any time.

Light

Font size:

Reset

Interval:

Bookmark:

Make
Contents
Landmarks
Print Page List
Copyright 2019 by Chelsea Handler All rights reserved Published in the United - photo 1
Copyright 2019 by Chelsea Handler All rights reserved Published in the United - photo 2
Copyright 2019 by Chelsea Handler All rights reserved Published in the United - photo 3

Copyright 2019 by Chelsea Handler

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Spiegel & Grau, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

S PIEGEL & G RAU and colophon is a registered trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to The Enneagram Institute, Stone Ridge, New York, for permission to reprint the Enneagram Type Descriptions, copyright The Enneagram Institute. Used with permission.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

Names: Handler, Chelsea, author.

Title: Life will be the death of me: and you, too! / Chelsea Handler.

Description: First edition. | New York: Spiegel & Grau, [2019]

Identifiers: LCCN 2019004975| ISBN 9780525511779 (hardback) | ISBN 9780525511786 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Handler, Chelsea. | Women comedians-United States-Biography.

Classification: LCC PN1992.4.H325 A3 2019 | DDC 792.702/8092 [B]-dc22 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019004975

spiegelandgrau.com

randomhousebooks.com

Book design by Debbie Glasserman, adapted for ebook

Cover design: Greg Mollica

Cover photograph: Emily Shur

v5.4_r1

ep

Contents

Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.

GLORIA STEINEM

I dont remember the actor and I dont remember the movie but I remember it was - photo 4

I dont remember the actor, and I dont remember the movie, but I remember it was five oclock in the afternoon and I had just taken a couple hits off my vape pen. I needed to load my Pix account, which held pre-released movies that I was expected to screen before a star of one of the movies was a guest on my Netflix talk show. I was sitting on one of my overpriced chaise longues, the kind that celebrities and Russians purchase for their bedrooms, when I found myself once again unable to convert the TV that descends from the ceiling from Apple TV to Pix. Rich people have descending smart televisions. The idea is that they descend silently and gracefully from the ceiling, but because I am nouveau-riche rich, mine sounds more like a helicopter landing. Id like to blame my inability to change the mode of my television to Pix on the fact that I was stoned, but that would be a lie; Id be even less capable if I was sober.

I called my assistant Brandon at his house, to tell him to tell my other assistant, Tannerwho was downstairs in my houseto come upstairs and help me with the television. I hung up the phone. I looked down at the table and saw the vape pen. How many more hits of marijuana would I need to get through this movie?

I knew things had hit a new lowor high, depending on how you looked at the situation. I picked up the iPad that controls the TV along with everything else in my housefrom the window shades to the exterior lights in my backyard, to my pulse, probablyand tried to pretend that I was troubleshooting, so that Tanner would think I had at least tried to figure it out on my ownas if that had ever happened before.

How did I become so useless? And how many assistants did I actually have? Answer: two. Brandon and Tanner. Brandon is gay and has an incredible attention to detail. Tanner is straight, and before he met me, he thought the Four Seasons was a weather pattern. Before I met Tanner, I thought Venmo was an online liquor store.

Tanner was now upstairs standing behind the chaise I was sitting on. I wondered if he could smell the weed Id just smoked, and if so, what did he think of me? Did he realize that most television hosts dont even make the time to watch movies and TV shows to prepare for each of their upcoming guests? Did he understand that I was a consummate professional who went to great lengths to get ready for my show? Or did he think that I was just some rich, lucky, white bitch who continued to fall upward? No, that wasnt quite right: I doubt he was thinking in terms of race. Two white people surely werent thinking about skin color. I was the one thinking that.

I didnt want to watch another stupid fucking movie that I didnt care about. And I really didnt want to interview another action star bloviating about his motivation for playing a half man, half mermaid. I just didnt care, and I wasnt doing anyone any favors by pretending that I did.

Did I ever care? The answer is yes. There was a time when all of this mattered to me. There was a time when being famous and having this kind of success and money and having a TV show was what drove me to want more and more and more, and now I found myself exhausted and ashamed by the meaninglessness of it all.

I remember coming home a couple of weeks before the 2016 election on a windy fall nightwhich for Los Angeles is rare. Anytime theres weather in Los Angeles, even rain, its excitingthe constant sunshine can start to grate on your nerves. I went up to my bedroom, opened up my sliding glass doors, grabbed my vape pen, and turned on some Neil Young. I lay on my bed in the dark, watching the wind blow my bedroom drapes around, hearing the ruffling of the leaves, and watching the lanterns that hang from my backyard trees swinging into each other, thinking, If theres an electrical fire, I hope the dogs will at least bark to wake me up, but overall, my thought was: This is fucking awesome. This is exactly what Id hoped adulthood would be.

No kids, no husband, no responsibilitiesjust a TV show on Netflix and whatever else I felt like doing, whenever I felt like doing it. Not trapped, not stuck, not dependent on a single person but myselffree to be you and me. I couldnt believe how lucky my life had turned out, how many of my dreams had come true, and also my good fortune in being alive during this time in historythe year we were going to elect our first female president.

I suppose I could blame my state of mind on the election of Donald Trumpso I will. I have the Trump family and their horrifying personalities and veneers to thank for my midlife crisis. Along with more than half the populationof the worldI couldnt grasp how, in this day and age, we elected a man who insulted Mexicans and women and Muslims and veterans and disabled people and everyone else he has insulted since. The contrast in decency between Barack Obama and Donald Trump was too much for me to bearlike electing Snooki to the Senate. Now people were seriously talking about Dwayne the Rock Johnson running for president. How on earth did we get here? Although, if Im being honest, at that point in timeor at any other time during the entire Trump presidencyI would have preferred an actual rock.

How could Americans have turned their back on decency, and why was I so misinformed? How did I not know this outcome was even a possibility? What was I missing?

I kept hearing the word elitiststhat everyone in California and New York lived in a bubble. That the election of this lunatic was a result of all of us not knowing anything about the rest of the country.

Next page
Light

Font size:

Reset

Interval:

Bookmark:

Make

Similar books «Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!»

Look at similar books to Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!. We have selected literature similar in name and meaning in the hope of providing readers with more options to find new, interesting, not yet read works.


Reviews about «Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too!»

Discussion, reviews of the book Life Will Be the Death of Me: and you too! and just readers' own opinions. Leave your comments, write what you think about the work, its meaning or the main characters. Specify what exactly you liked and what you didn't like, and why you think so.