Littler Jamie - Hamish and the Monster Patrol

For Lola and Darcy - DW

Everybody worries about monsters coming, dont they?

Horrible monsters rushing through the door. Nasty monsters bursting through the window. Monsters running down the street.

But can I tell you what is even more worrying than that?

Whats more frightening?

More terrifying?

More awful?

In fact, worse in every single way?

When that monster is still miles away.

What do you mean, that doesnt sound as bad?

Think about it.

You know its coming.

You know its on its way, but you dont know how to stop it.

One heavy foot after the other, it moves towards you.

CLUNK .

THUNK .

BLUNK .

Never distracted. Never slowing. Always coming.

Thats a terrifying thought, isnt it? Knowing a monster is on its way, even as you sleep, but that you cant do anything about it?

Well, that, my young and stinky friend, has been the everyday reality for the people of the small town of Starkley for some time now. Since right after Christmas, in fact, and on through all the dark January nights, with no hope on the horizon to brighten them.

No one knows what the monster is.

No one knows what it wants.

But everyone knows it is coming.

Steadily.

Purposefully.

Definitely.

Ever since the day it was first spotted on a radar system, moving very slowly indeed through the ocean, scientists have been tracking this ever-growing red dot. Somewhere deep under the swirling water, this enormous unspeakable thing is moving, with clear intention, in the direction of Starkley.

What is it? What does it want? How long until its here?

Can you imagine living every day under the weight of questions like that?

The real danger, of course, is that you get used to the fear. You start to ignore the creeping threat, until one day the monster arrives and its then you realise you have no fight left.

So what would you do?

Run?

Some people already have.

Hide?

But what if it finds you?

Stay where you are and eat a sandwich and hope for the best?

A nice idea, but not exactly what Id call a plan...

All this impending doom has changed the once-cheerful, once-boring town of Starkley beyond recognition.

In fact, I have to wonder if youd recognise it at all.

It was just after teatime, which meant that Hamish Ellerby really had to hurry if he was going to get home before the Gate shut.

Hamish had been at his karate class at the leisure centre in Frinkley as usual Mum said it was important to do normal things, even if things werent normal at all any more but after class hed had a go on the arcades and lost track of time. Now he was cycling quicker than he ever had before, battling against a chill wind that seemed to threaten snow.

Slow down, Hamish! shouted his best friend, Alice, pedalling behind him. Weve got plenty of time!

But Hamish knew that the Siren would be going off soon, and if they didnt get through the Gate before that happened, theyd be locked out of Starkley all night.

It began to rain. Fat, freezing drops of rain. The river was swollen and noisy as they rode over the old grey bridge towards Checkpoint Gamma.

This was all new these checkpoints and barriers and they hadnt been Starkleys idea. But each night, all the people in the town who had chosen to stay in Starkley, despite The News, had to make sure they were all signed in.

People called the ever-nearing threat The News because it seemed better than calling it The Monster or The Upcoming Season of Destruction or anything else like that.

Hamish couldnt quite believe there was less than a week to go...

When the monster had been spotted on the radar, the rest of the country had decided that the safest thing to do would be to shut Starkley off. Oh, they could come and go during the day, but theyd lock the doors at night, when monsters usually come out. And theyd limit deliveries, because maybe if life wasnt so cushy in Starkley, more people would leave and the problem might just go away. You have to be cruel to be kind, they said.

And lets be honest: this was hardly the first time Starkley had made a spectacle of itself, was it? Trouble seemed to always be just around the corner for the small town. It had only been a few months since the last battle with those awful beasts the Terribles, who had somehow brainwashed all the towns infants to rise up and riot. And before that, Starkley had fallen foul of the invasion of the Venus spytraps, and before that the giant, time-pausing WorldStoppers. And lets not forget those brain-zapping Hypnobots!

So, deep down, the rest of the country wasnt particularly happy that Starkley had somehow managed to attract yet another monster. Some people had even started protesting outside Parliament, and theres nothing politicians hate more than that. People mad e banners and put up posters saying things like...

Others said that maybe Starkley should be taught a lesson about always wanting to be the centre of attention. Evening, Hamish. Evening, Alice, said a border guard, about to bring down a barrier. Just in time...

Hamish cruised into the town square, relieved to have made it, and skidded to a halt by the town clock. Alice stopped next to him. The rain was falling more heavily now and both kids watched as it bounced off the tin metal roof of the Control Tower by the clock and spattered on to the sandbags below. There were sandbags everywhere now; experts had started to worry that Starkley could flood if the monster rose out of the sea fast enough. It was right on the coast, after all. Oh, well, Madame Cous Cous had said when she heard. Keep Calm and Carry a Snorkel!

The Central Speaker HOOOOONKED three times, to tell everyone that it was getting close to curfew time. A lot of the grown-ups would be sitting around right now, arguing about what to do. All the kids had to be indoors soon. The next time the Central Speaker honked, the Child Curfew would start. Parents wanted their kids right where they could see them, mainly because no one fancied going out in the dark any more. Without knowing quite what this monster was, it was easy for rumours to swirl, and for people to drive themselves crazy with questions. What if it sped up? What if there were others coming from different directions? Wait did I turn off the kitchen tap?

Belasko had increased its presence in Starkley, led, of course, by their very best agent, Hamishs dad, Angus Ellerby. The super-spy agency had always come to help Starkley before and this emergency was no different there were agents all over the place, coming up with plans and researching. They werent just going to sit about, waiting for the monster to arrive. The most important thing was to find out just what the monster was, but, so far, none of their plans to get a closer look had worked.