Pleltons - Robert Young Peltons The Worlds Most Dangerous Places

ROBERT YOUNG PELTONS

THE WORLDS MOST

DANGEROUS
PLACES

5th EDITION
Completely Revised and Updated

With all this talk about survival and fascination with danger, why is it that we never admit that life is like watching a great movie andpoof!the power goes off before we see the ending? Just like every love story ends in sadness, every life has a surprise ending. Death is a natural event that comes to us all so shouldnt we get to know him a little?

Its no big deal. Death doesnt really wear a smelly cloak and carry a scythe its more likely the attractive girl who makes you forget to look right before you cross that busy intersection in London perhaps its that Ebola-stricken waiter who hawked a loogie in your safari lunch after you stiffed him on his tip at breakfast, or maybe its that rancid-smelling Russian pilot who staggered in after a night of partying to captain your ill-fated discount flight to Baku. Or maybe its that routine cross-country flight to LA but hey lighten up. Its only death. We all get to meet him (or her?) at some point. Why not get to know death a little earlier, buy him a drink, slap him on the back, and fake him out? There are things worse than death, such as a full-compliance tax audit by a dyslexic IRS agent or maybe even discount prostate surgery in Monrovia. It helps to look at the big picture when understanding just what might kill you and what wont. It is the baby boomers slow descent into gray hair, brand-name drugs, reading glasses, and a general sense of not quite being as fast as they used to be that drives this whole survival thing. Relax: Youre gonna die. Enjoy life, dont fear it.

I ts no big deal. Death doesnt really wear a smelly cloak and carry a scythe.

To some, life is the single most precious thing they are given and its only natural that they would invest every ounce of their being into making sure that every moment is glorious, productive, and safe. So does living mean sitting strapped into our Barca Lounger, medic at hand, 911 autodialer at the ready, carefully watching for low-flying planes? Or should you live like those folks who are into extreme, mean, ultimate, eco, survival, death match, adventure stuff like flying used MiGs, ballooning around the world, yanking on snakes, and diving in shark-infested waters? Sorry, that stuff may be fun to talk about at cocktail parties, but not really dangerous not even half as dangerous as driving a cab on the graveyard shift in Karachi.

Living is about adventure and adventure is about elegantly surfing the tenuous space between lobotomized serenity and splattered-bug terror and still being in enough pieces to share the lessons learned with your grandkids. Adventure is about using your brain, body, and intellect to weave a few bright colors in the worlds dull, gray fabric. And, hell, man, its not about you surviving; its about helping others to survive and doing it in style. So wussup with DP? Isnt it a guide that seems to have a lucid, albeit insane focus on all the things that can damage you and shorten your very existence? Not at all. If you can avoid the things that kill you, then the good bits pretty much take care of themselves. The purpose of DP is to get your head screwed on straight, your sphincter unpuckered, and your nose pointed in the right direction.

When you are done reading, you will realize that instead of thinking that The Crocodile Hunter pestering reptiles is dainjerous, you will get your adrenaline fix by looking for shows like Tubercular Afghan Refugee, White Zimbabwe Farmer, or Hutu Goat Herder. Now those would be survival shows.

So lets get to it.

Okay, class, what is the thing most likely to kill you? Killer tornados? Crazed terrorists? Latex-proof AIDS? Cher infomercials? Give up? Its Father Time. Humans are genetically supposed to exist on this planet for about 40 years. Cavemen had just enough time to sow their seed and maybe feed their children until they were old enough to catch their own food, gum it down, and hobble around their caves at age 30. Back then you grew up, spawned a few kids, and just as life started to look good and comfortable, blap, you were too slow to outrun a sabretoothed tiger. So on the genetic survival clock, consider anything more than 35 as karmic gravy. These days there are still people in West Africa and on U.S. Indian reservations who think 50 is a long life. Westerners and first-world folks get downright litigious if they dont make it to 70. Thanks to drugs, plastic surgery, clean living, pay-per-view porno, and third-world body parts, life is long and getting longer. The ugly truth other than the frightening thought of millions of 90-year-olds cruising South Beach in Speedos is that the first world is just about maxed out when it comes to natural human longevity. If it werent for small cars, dirty bars, unprotected sex, fast food, and rock-and-roll you would never get a spot at the canasta table.

In reality, death is pretty weird. It has this random, Holy shit, did you see that? kind of feel to it. Like watching Faces of Death in real time. In the real world, 1 out of every 15 of us will die accidentally. If you live to 80 you will have survived about 12 million other people who were not that lucky. But keep in mind that means most of us arent going to get killed accidentally.

So it looks like most of us will cruise into our seventies with a head full of Rogaine-induced hair and a drawer full of unused Viagra. Longevity also depends on where and how you live. Your forefathers sailing the Atlantic or swimming the Rio Grande was a good health move. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, Americans should get an average of 77.12 years, but thats already a lie. Men, the weaker sex, get 74.24; the gals get an additional 5.7 years to spend the insurance. Thats 2 mortgages, 15 car loans, and a good chance of actually seeing your birthday plugged by Willard Scott for Smuckers.

You want to live long? Be a girl, be rich and be Asian. Wanna die young? Be poor, be black (or indigenous if you really want to live dangerously), and move to Central Africa. Overall, things are pretty safe and benign for denizens of the Western world and they are getting better for the rest of the world. Yes, thats right, despite what you see on Sunday morning fund-raisers, life spans around world are getting longer. If you are unlucky enough to be from Sierra Leone, statistically youll get an average of 45 years to do your thing. But the truth is you can also live to 80, watch satellite TV, find a doctor, drive a Land Cruiser with AC, fire up the Internet, and order an espresso in Freetown if you have the economic wherewithal. So money is also the key to staying alive longer.

So whats the scoop?

Does life really suck in the third world? Not really. Worldwide, things are pretty good. Depending on who you want to believe, most of the world lives in a mud hut, goes to bed hungry, and cant read or write. Worse, the normal person lives in a state of perpetual fear of the government, hunger, disease, his neighbor, religion, and even the weather. Like most things you read, its half-true. Most of the world lives day-to-day, hand-to-mouth, trusting to a religious deity or luck for their long-term survival. Yes, most of the world is poor, slightly nervous, and a little fatalistic about whats around the corner. But the secret is that they make do. Are they living every moment in fear and apprehension? Not really. Its the West that does that. It is only in developed countries and in the last 10 years of baby-boomdom that we have developed this obsession with fear and safety. There isnt really anything to fear. Crime is under control, wages are pretty good, life spans are longer, health is improving, and every segment of society has benefited from the political efforts of bleeding-heart liberals and the business efforts of cold-hearted capitalists. So lets all take a deep breath, have a group hug,