Vicki Grant - Small Bones

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July 9, 1947Sometime after midnight

IT WAS DARK and he didnt know where he was going. He pulled over to check the map shed drawn for him, but a lot of good that did. She hadnt been there in years. Shed scribbled vague lines on the back of a soup label and said, The turn is right before the gas station, or maybe right after, then shed drawn a long squiggle and, at the edge of the label, a box with a roof on it.

Shed pushed the paper across the kitchen table and said, Youll find it. Not much else around there. Whole reason I left. Then shed rubbed a smudge of blood off her hand and creaked to her feet. She didnt have time for this. She had her own pressing matters to attend to.

He chucked the map out the car window and got back on the road, gravel machine-gunning the bushes. Hed keep heading east.

A deer materialized in front of him, its eyes flat and shiny as new dimes. The man swerved but didnt slow down. He had to be back before dawn.

He was angry with her but knew he had no right to be. An old woman could hardly be expected to drive three hours along deserted back roads. Likewise, he certainly couldnt be left to deal withhe struggled for the wordsfemale issues. So he had to drive. She had to take care of the rest. Simple as that. Hed been through worse.

His headlights stuttered over the potholes. He hadnt passed a car or a house in what seemed like hours. Even so, he found himself worrying that someone might happen upon the crumpled map at the side of the road and use it as evidence against him. He gripped the steering wheel and drove faster, his neck jutting toward the dashboard, a cartoon drawing of a guilty man on the run.

He was being ridiculous. Guilty? He leaned back, loos-ened his tie and took his first real breath in miles. He hadnt done anything wrong.

It was that damn girl. This was her fault. What had she been thinking? Or had she been thinking at all? That was the problem with kids today. They didnt think. They had it soft. Too many cheap novels and silly movies filling their heads with romantic crap. Love conquers all? That certainly hadnt been his experience.

She wasnt a child, for Gods sake. She was seventeen. Old enough to know better. Well, she was paying for her foolishness now, wasnt she? He took off his hat and threw it in the backseat. Two families, two fine old families, could be ruined by this.

Damn girl. He said it out loud this time. Damn bloody girl.

It was just a turn of phrase, an affectation hed picked up in England, but it made a picture pop into his head. He saw the white shirt soaked red with blood. The gray face. The crazy eyes. His anger melted into something closer to fear.

He reached across the passenger seat and pushed the edge of the towel away with his finger. The babys face turned toward him. He jerked back in shock. He hadnt really expected it to be alive still.

There was a jar of milk on the car floor and a tiny spoon in his coat pocket. He was supposed to feed it if it got hungry. He didnt know the first thing about babies. Was it hungry?

It wasnt crying. It must be fine. Thats what he told himself.

He stepped on the gas. What if hed already passed the turnoff? What if the Mounties stopped him? How would he explain a newborn baby, especially one like this? Dinner napkin for a diaper, umbilical cord pinched off with a clothespintheyd know there was something fishy. Who would he say it belonged to? What if it died? The questions wouldnt stop.

And then there, almost miraculously, was the gas station shed mentioned, and just after that a road and, pointing the way, a sign half obscured by alders. Only the word Benevolent was legible. It gave him the creeps, that word, but he shook his head and carried on.

In minutes he was crawling up the long driveway. He pulled onto the lawnhe didnt want to get too close to the houseand killed the engine. He leaned his elbows on the steering wheel and rubbed his face in his hands.

Do it.Just be done with it.

He opened the car door, and the hinges shrieked. But no lights turned on, no dog barked, so he picked up the babysmall and alien as a newborn kitten, face like a rotten appleand got going.