Sigmund Brouwer - Broken Angel

CONTENTS

To Cindy and Olivia and Savannah

Always, as big and forever as the sky.

PROLOGUE

I n the afternoon of the day after Caitlyns sixth birthday, the waiting room had been quiet, without the coughing or groaning found among those down the hall waiting for a general physician. The physician, an Appalachian like them, had determined their ailments were ones to be treated by a sharp scalpel, and hed sent them here to see the Outside surgeon, who spent a week every month inside the Great Fence.

Standing beside Papa, Caitlyn felt self-conscious among these strangers. She held a small wooden box with her white dove inside, lifting the lid occasionally to whisper encouragement to it, glad to find its black eyes still bright and attentive.

Shed found Angel below a window and had given her care for a week already. Papa had promised Caitlyn that a surgeon might fix the doves broken wing, and she had prayed all the way from the collective that God would allow it.

To ease her nervousness, she used her tongue to wiggle a loose tooth back and forth. She had already lost four and was proud that she had learned not to cry at the quick pain that came when Papa helped her pull them loose. She wore the red shoes shed been given for her birthday but couldnt fool herself into believing they made her look pretty for these people. She held Papas hand for comfort and kept her back pressed against the wall. She wore a loose jacket but still felt as if all these strangers knew that her back was not like the backs of other girls.

Once, before theyd settled at the collective, she and Papa were at a church gathering in a small town along an abandoned railroad, deep in one of Appalachias hundreds of valleys. Children had been playing around the adults, who stood in a tight group to discuss the weather and the mornings sermon. Caitlyn had made friends with another girl who was tiny like her. They wandered among the boys, who were rough and tumble and pushed Caitlyn to the ground. Her new friend helped her up and patted Caitlyn on the back. A question was asked, and Caitlyn began to shed her coat, innocently. Papa ran toward them, shouting.

He arrived soon enough to prevent other adults from seeing, but three of the children had already glimpsed Caitlyns mutated armsterribly thin and long, dark with shaggy and coarsened hair. They screamed in horror, and Caitlyn never made the mistake of playing with other children again. Not because Papa warned her against it, but because she finally understood she was different. She didnt like being different. It made Papa sad.

When Caitlyns name was called, Papa stood and took her by the hand to a small private room where the surgeon waited.

The surgeon had his back to them when they entered. He turned, holding a clipboard. He wore a mask but had pulled it down so his entire face showed. He had short brown hair and dark brown eyes.

Caitlyn sensed the same thing in the man as she did in Papa. She couldnt put it into words, of course, not even in her thoughts, but she understood the aura of sadness and kindness about the surgeon. Others often recoiled from her, but he knelt and put his hands on her shoulders.

Hello, he said, looking directly in her eyes.

Hello, Caitlyn said. She felt safe with this man, like she did with Papa. Papa said you might be able to fix Angel and help her fly again. I call her Angel because she is so white.

She opened the box. The surgeon studied the white dove with great seriousness. He asked permission to lift the dove out of the box. Caitlyn liked that. Other grownups would not have been that nice.

Ive never seen such a beautiful bird, the surgeon said.

Caitlyn shook her head. Me neither.

Im told you are not a physician interested in politics, Papa said to the surgeon. That is the only reason we are here. We have a little angel who needs help.

Im from Outside. The surgeon still looked into Caitlyns eyes. Smiling, but still with sadness. What happens in Appalachia is not my business.

We need to trust you, Papa said. I cant even tell you why or how important that is.

The surgeon set the dove back into Caitlyns box. He consulted his clipboard. Jordan, right? This need is why you wouldnt let the general physician prepare the x-rays?

Feel my daughters back, Papa said. Between her shoulder blades.

Caitlyn stepped away instinctively, but Papa told her it would be all right. He helped her remove the loose coat. Caitlyn stared at the floor and shivered as the surgeons soft, gentle hands ran along her coarse skin. Why did she have to be such a burden for Papa?

Very atypical, the surgeon said. Not only her back. But her fingers. Her hands. Her thin arms. Id like to do a medical history. Maybe there is some hormone treatment to

She needs your help, Papa said. A simple operation on her back. Help. Not questions.

The surgeon raised a questioning eyebrow.

In my other life, Papa said, I had considerable medical background, but Im not a surgeon.

Your other life?

My daughter would not have been able to cope, Outside. Thats why we are here.

Caitlyn wanted to pull on Papas hand. He and the surgeon had forgotten about the box. Although Papa had taught her to be polite and not interrupt adults, she couldnt help herself and held the box toward her father. Papa, dont we want to help her fly again?